Hmm just discovered this room.

[tavernier]

I’m surrounded by family but often feel alone. Not their fault... I was just used to having a husband. Tomorrow was our 4oth anniversary but he has been gone four years next month.

I miss just having a guy my age to talk to. Lol, my guy was pretty non talkative so I’m not sure why I miss it, but there it is there.

Thanks for listening.

[MLAA]

1. 💕💕💕💕sending you good thoughts 💕💕💕💕

[tavernier]

4. Thanks!

It’s strange that sometimes now is harder than when he first left. But I have great friends and family so life goes on. So sweet of you to respond!

[doc03]

2. Hey I just turned 73 last week I am in Ohio. I am packing up and heading for

Key West in the morning. Just kidding.

[tavernier]

5. I'm in Indiana for the month.

Meet you in the Keys in May.

[doc03]

6. I was going to St. Petersburg for 2 or 3 weeks every year up until the damn COVID.

Now that I finally got my shots I may go back this winter.

[tavernier]

8. Well if you get down to the Keys, I'll meet you for a drink.

Two hard core liberals and rum drinks are always a good idea.

[doc03]

9. I was there for like 3 hours one year. I took the ferry out of Fort Myers and back one day.

I had enough time to eat and have a couple beers at the Hogs Breath Saloon and walk around a bit.

[tavernier]

12. You were in Key West. Nice town, too many tourists.

Tavernier is an hour, 45 minutes from Ft. Lauderdale.
We are a bit more laid back and islandy. I used to live in Pompano and enjoyed the restaurants and theaters in Ft. L., but I hated the traffic. But it’s bad all over these days.
I fly to NYC or London if I want a culture fix, lol, but lately I just find a good show on tv. Easier.



On edit, you said St. Pete, not Ft. Lauderdale.

Great town. My dad used to live there before he passed. My grandson goes to college down the road from there in Fort Meyers. Wings up, FGCU!! My daughter manages a restaurant In Clearwater Beach,

We are practically related, lol!

Stay well and hope to see you some day!

[mitch96]

20. Well if you don't mind another in the mix I'll buy the first round!!

LIved in So Fla for 40 something years and just moved to the west central part of the state.. Dunedin, just a stone throw from StPete/Clearwater. The traffic sucks here like So Fla.
Been visiting my snow bird friends here in Dunedin for years and decided to make the jump recently.
People over on this coast are very polite. I've been the "Florida tour guide" for my out of state friends for years. Key West, Dizzy world, Shark River state park and Hollyweird Beach..
I got in too much trouble in Miami so I stay away. Fun times for a guy that was "only" stay for a year back in the late '70s.. HA!
m

[tavernier]

21. We could easily start a tour bus, mitch!

We moved to Port St Lucie 40 some years ago, lived in Pompano a few years after kids graduated and have been in the Keys over thirty years now. As a home health nurse I visited every neighborhood from Vero Beach to Key West. Since dad lived on St Pete beach we went there a lot, and now daughter manages Cooters on the beach in Clearwater and grandson is in college in Estero.
I’m in Shelbyville Indiana visiting another daughter presently. Spring break traffic in the Keys was driving me crazy, so daughter’s Christmas tree farm way out in the country is a nice change. But I’ll be back next month so definitely all we dem loners should meet up for a drink. If we all meet half way, that would put us in the middle of the Everglades, lol, but Naples might be a better choice. Then we can make a plan for the tour bus... I think The Big Blue Bus is a good name.

[mitch96]

22. My Father lived on a sail boat in Pompano when I first moved to Fla.

He sold the boat and then bought a "pool home" in Ft Laud.. His term not mine... I worked in a bunch of hospitals in So Fla as a Radiology Tech.. I had way too much fun down there.,.
So Fla in the 80's was CRAZY and I went along for the ride..

Yes, you guys name the time/place and I'll be there. Everglades City has some nice outdoor restaurants I've been to. Just a bit west of Naples off of route 29 and the tamami trail/SR41
When the shrimp are running I got some of the best gulf pinks right off the boat!!
m

[tavernier]

23. Sounds like a plan!

Soon as I get home, I’ll post a tentative meet up on this group site. Tamiami is a much prettier ride than the alley, for sure!

[mitch96]

24. This is kind of ironic for a loners group to have a "meet up"... nt

[tavernier]

25. A great excuse for a road trip

with a drink at the end.

[Lochloosa]

10. St. Pete is one of my favorite cities to visit. Tried to get my wife to consider moving there

Too far away from the Grandkids...

[SergeStorms]

18. And driving on Route 19....

is a nightmare. I lived in Clearwater for awhile, and dreaded turning on to Rt. 19, which is unavoidable if you live in the area. Clearwater Beach is the nicest beach I've ever been on in the state, and the fishing in the area is sublime. It's a little "bluer" area of Florida as well.

[rickyhall]

3. I miss having a guy my age to talk to since my brother and best friend died.

Maybe for different reasons since I'm a guy, but I know what you mean. My housemate is a women, but we aren't married or sharing a bed and my closest guy friend is 30 years younger, he doesn't understand "back in the day".

[tavernier]

7. My hubby lost 4 friends the year he died.

I swear that had a bit to do with his death. It messed with his heart and mind. It made him very sad.

[tiredtoo]

11. My wife of 56 years

Died 5 years ago. Still miss her being here telling me what to do. Seniors silent suffering is loneliness.

[tavernier]

15. Omg, my hubby would have said the same thing

had I gone first. He also would have tossed all the bills in the garbage and bought six vintage cars off the tv auction show with savings. And then he would have been homeless under a bridge within a year. I loved him dearly but he had zero good business sense.

[Skittles]

13. ...

To Those I Love

If I should ever leave you whom I love
To go along the Silent Way, grieve not,
Nor speak of me with tears, but laugh and talk
Of me as if I were beside you there.

(I'd come - I'd come, could I but find a way!
But would not tears and grief be barriers?)
And when you hear a song or see a bird I loved,
please do not let the thought of me
Be sad . . .
For I am loving you just as
I always have . . .
You were so good to me!

There are so many things I wanted still
To do - so many things to say to you . . .
Remember that I did not fear . . . It was
Just leaving you that was so hard to face . . .

We cannot see Beyond . . .
But this I know:
I loved you so -
'twas heaven here with you!

by Isla Paschal Richardson

[tavernier]

14. Aw, very kind of you to post this.

Have you lost someone recently?

[Skittles]

16. me, no

there's an abbreviated version of this poem that is often used for pet loss, but I have always found the original poem so very lovely.

I am, however, a perennial loner.....I never really had family around me.

[seta1950]

29. Love it

🥲

[cilla4progress]

17. Wow, Tavernier,

such a touching post!

I'll be married 41 years in September.

As you and I well know - every day is not sunshine and roses, but, damn, "used to having a husband" says it all.

And I kinda like mine, most of the time...

Hugs.

[SunSeeker]

19. It's wonderful that you were lucky enough to have had a guy like that for 36 years.

Not all spouses are missed. You had a good one, even if he wasn't much of a talker.

[tavernier]

26. Yup.

He made me laugh and killed bugs that came in the house. Can’t think of two better reasons to keep someone around.

[littlemissmartypants]

27. Nothing prepares us for that loss.

I'm glad you found the Loners Group, tavernier. We're reserved but mighty. We'll look forward to seeing you again.



❤

[tavernier]

31. It's a nice, comfortable corner.

Thanks for the welcome.

[littlemissmartypants]

33. ❤ nt

[skydive forever]

28. I lost my wife almost 3 years ago

And I still miss her every single day. Part of me wishes that I could forget her, it still hurts so much, and then I realize that I never want to forget her. Best thing to ever happen to me was having her in my life.

[tavernier]

32. I'm a Queen fan

I often listen to their music but when the song “Save Me” comes on, I have to turn it off or I’ll ugly cry. Otherwise I can keep it together most days. Yes, years two and three were the hardest for me. I finally feel like I’m starting to heal this year.

Deep breaths my friend.

[littlemissmartypants]

34. So sorry for your loss, skydive forever.

I too know that gut punch feeling of a space in the heart that can't be filled. Know that you are never alone in that and that it binds us together, even if in grief.

Stay encouraged. You are loved.



❤

[BobTheSubgenius]

30. I'm sure you'll find many people here that, together, will perhaps not fill that void...

...but make it not so deep. Being engaged with contemporaries - mental and attitude-wise more than age, possibly - will definitely help.

"I don't like being divorced. I'd rather be widowed." - Emo Phillips.

[littlemissmartypants]

35. ❤ nt

[tavernier]

36. Sure does.

But I’m generally pretty resilient. I was raised by a Boy Scout leader. The good kind.

[BobTheSubgenius]

47. Great to hear. Unless people are very specific about their state of mind, etc, it's not always easy

Sensing where a person is on the spectrum of emotional response is imperfect, at best. I did have an idea about yours, or I wouldn't have closed with such a flippant quote.

I have a pretty outre sense of humour sometimes. What can I say?

[mnhtnbb]

48. About that quote

It says it well.

I ended up widowed instead of divorced after being married 33 years when my husband killed himself rather than get divorced after we'd been separated for a year.

Regardless, I am alone. I also didn't realize this forum was here.

I have been living alone for 3 1/2 years; he's been gone 2 1/2. I just turned 70 last month.

Lost my furry rescue dog, Snowy, of almost 11 years, last June. She was 14.

Because of the pandemic, I didn't even see either of my sons in person in more than a year.

If I weren't comfortable being alone, I suspect I wouldn't have come through this last year as well as I have.

I was the one who left, but I told my oldest son recently that I miss what my husband and I had when it was good, even though it hadn't been good for a long time.

I'm in the midst of a health crisis at the moment. Was in the ER for way too long Friday being worked up for stroke risk until I'd had enough and refused the MRI and told them to write the Rx for the BP lowering meds and let me leave. My oldest son had been with me, but I sent him home because I could tell he was struggling to be there due to memories of having been there with my husband three years ago when he made the first attempt to kill himself.

Life is complicated and difficult, isn't it?

I choose to tell people I'm a widow and then change the subject.

[AllaN01Bear]

37. group hugs

[Firestorm49]

38. Welcome

[Dreampuff]

39. This brightens my day!

I check this little spot often and no one seems to be posting so I just stay silent and move on. Now many nice people are coming out of the Woodworks! It's nice to meet all of you!

I am so sorry for those of you who have lost your loved one. I was young when we started dating so we have actually been together close to fifty years. I don't know what I would do without him because I am not much of a people person and he is the victim when I have a lot to say. Since my parents have been gone for a few decades now, he and my pets are my support system.

And I am from Florida also! St. Petersburg is probably my favorite town, but I live just west of there.

[tavernier]

42. Another Saint Peter!

I guess we are in good hands, lol!

[dameatball]

40. Well whaddayaknow? Never knew this place was here. N Central Fl checking in between the raindrops.

Not exactly alone, just the only one with two legs and opposable thumbs.

[tavernier]

41. Oh good!

Our cyber family has pets!
Names please.

I have an Emma, Ernie and Russell of the cat persuasion, Bowman, Winston, Sadie and Farley bring up the tail wagging rear. These are my grand kitties and puppies and I spoil them all at their appropriate homes.

[dameatball]

43. Molly the dog (aka Nervous Nellie) and Eenie the cat (aka Nosy Ned)

Thunder and lightning here so Molly is attached to my leg and Eenie is likely under a bed someplace.

Your grand-furballs have neat names.

[tavernier]

44. Ha, love the aliases!

Here too... Ernie Bird because he longs to catch one. Russell Sprout. Sadie sitter because she is in charge of the puppy when we leave. Winston (the puppy) is also known as Ruckus, because he causes disasters wherever he goes. Bowman is BoBo.

Thunder and lightning is scary. Know what’s worse? A pure white puppy rolling in cow manure. Three full baths for him and shower for me. That was my day. I’ll be glad to get back to the Keys... this farm life is killing me!!

[dameatball]

45. Winston in the cow patties?

[tavernier]

46. Yes.

Daughter and SIL own a Christmas tree farm. Today was planting day in an old section of the property that used to be a cow pasture. Winston (AKA Ruckus) is a 5 pound snow white poodle morkie mix, not quite a year old. But within this past year he has broken off his leash and run into the road resulting in broken leg and tail (now fully healed), chewed up a large variety of shoes, glasses, pens, etc., tripped me six months ago resulting in torn knee ligaments and crutches for a month. And yet he is addictively adorable. Until today when he rolled in the cow pile. The other two family dogs, St. Bernard and American Bull Dog, a total of 300 pounds, never create any problems worse than bad gas and allergies.