Life in China #4
Ladies and gentlemen, this last summer sucked so much I can't begin to measure it. Except for 15 days in Thailand, it was so damn hot, sex was out of the question. I didn't want to touch anything.
At my gym, the glass shattered under the intense heat. In my apartment complex, the concrete lifted 10 centimeters off the ground.
But I am back teaching my classes and it feels different being a returning teacher rather than a new teacher. I earned the respect of my principal and other teachers by pulling students' asses out of the fire on the CIE exams and got an entire class of shadows now.
One thing I can tell you about Chinese students is, if they like you, they are always around you. I have four boys that chew my ear off about World of Warcraft (since they know I play). I have girls in my classes flirting with me (off-putting, I know. . .but it is kind of cute. But since I'm known as the "strong, sexy man," I guess it comes. And my boys call me "sexy man"
. I have student carrying my books and papers. It's nice to have voluntary slaves. 
One thing that is annoying about schools here is the regimentation of the school. Monday morning, the entire school goes out at 9:30, listens to the Chinese National Anthem and salutes the raising of the flag over the school by goose-stepping to the flag pole, then lifting their right arm up in a salute (looks sort of like the Nazi salute, only the arm is bent at the elbow). Then, they stand at attention and listen to some guy drone on and on for ten minutes about shit no one cares about in the 90 degree heat. On Mondays, my school requires students to wear their "Class A" uniform (blazer, slacks, white shirt, read tie). Enjoy that in 90 and 90.
The other days of the week at 9:30 is their morning exercises where people line up and, in complete unison, do exercises to music as a school. It is trippy and surreal for new people, but for people like me, it's more like "eh, seen it, don't care." All I can imagine is what would happen in the States if a school required students to do morning exercises every day. How many lawsuits would happen? Doctor's notes claiming some mild malady? Fistfights among students?
One thing I can say about Suzhou more than Shijiazhuang and Nanjing is it's much cleaner here. There hasn't been a bad pollution day here yet. Shijiazhuang has some of the most polluted air in the world and Nanjing was black for two weeks once last year.
I will end this note on a bit of a complaint: There are three things here that make my stomach turn.
1: I can handle the smoking that everyone and their brother does. . .but after a while, listening to Chinese men hock up phelm and spit everywhere makes me stomach queasy. And it happens all the time. They aren't really discreet about it either. Just the loudest hock you can imagine, followed by the loudest spit you can believe. And most everyone does it. Even at dinner time in restaurant. The Suzhou Subway tells people not to spit on the ground. Stop no one.
2: The peeing and shitting everywhere. If your baby needs to crap, put down paper on the sidewalk, spread your baby's ass cheeks and drop trow. If it needs to pee, find the closest garbage can, hold the kid over it and bombs away! One kid actually peed on my foot on the Nanjing subway and his father thought he was cute. I almost murdered two people that day.
This is not isolated. I've seen it every day of my life. The baby clothing here isn't like back home. The baby clothing here has a large slit from the belly button to the ball of the back so the kid can squat anywhere. I was eating at a Lanzhou Hand pulled Noodle restaurant (兰州拉面 eating some awesome Xinjiang Chicken and Potatoes (新疆大盘鸡） when two little girls told their mother they needed a bathroom. The mother said okay. So, the children lifted up their dresses and in full view of everyone, squatted down and relieved themselves about five feet in front of me. The fist kicker: The girls were 12 and 9. The second kicker: right across the street was a public bathroom in a public park. Apparently, a 50 meter walk was too much for them.
3: SNOT ROCKETS!!!! Enough said. Each time I see or hear it, I almost lose my lunch.
More about China later. Zai Jian!