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No Sex Please, We're Japanese (BBC Documentary) (Original Post) yuiyoshida Nov 2013 OP
For me, this was a depressing film Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #1
Some excellent points... yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #2
And then there's at least one local private high school Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #3
Yup, there is that too... yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #4
It's not really such a concern outside of the Fukushima area Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #5
Sounds like China. In so many ways Nanjing to Seoul Nov 2013 #21
It does sound a lot like Japan Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #22
Chinese men will find a Xiao San (little three) or a Xiao Tai Tai (little wife) Nanjing to Seoul Nov 2013 #23
Let me guess how to write Xiao San and Xiao Tai Tai Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #24
75% right Nanjing to Seoul Nov 2013 #25
I was typing in the characters using Japanese romanization Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #26
Tokyo dating story Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #6
Omoshiroi ne! yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #7
And of course, the drama would end with this song Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #8
ooooh! Lovely! yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #9
Here are the lyrics Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #10
Lets see how reliable google translate is.. yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #12
Oh my gosh, that translation is.... Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #13
Art's translation of "Sayonara" Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #14
nicely done yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #15
Arigatou Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #16
dou itashimashite! yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #17
Ureshii Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #18
heh! yuiyoshida Nov 2013 #19
An alternate theme song, perhaps? Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #11
Tokyo Dating Story, Part 2 Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #20

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
1. For me, this was a depressing film
Wed Nov 20, 2013, 02:16 AM
Nov 2013

I watched the whole thing, and basically have nothing to disagree with. However, I would like to make a few comments.

Yubari, the declining town mentioned early on, is located in a cold, snowy region (Hokkaido). It prospered because of the coal it was producing. Once the coal ran out, it became a typical boom-and-bust mining town, especially one in a harsh climate area. Its population is now the same as it was in 1894.

A few things that the documentary did not touch on:

Older unmarried women seem to be unfamiliar with the concept of dating. For example, if a man asks a female coworker out for a meal, her first response is likely to be "Who else is coming?". During lunch, the female employees at a company will usually sit among themselves. There seems to be an unwritten rule that men and women eat lunch separately from each other.

Many Japanese female university students, while technically adults (half of them, at least), still don't seem to have grown out of the "boys are icky" stage. And a guidebook for new students that I translated recently contained horror stories of dates gone wrong. "He seemed like a nice guy, but he tried to get me to join his cult." "I thought we were going to a restaurant, but he took me to the red-light district instead."

Japanese married couples tend not to sleep in the same bed/futon. And Japanese wives seem to be interested in sex only as a means of producing babies. Once their "baby quota" is met, they will often stop having sex with their husbands, and often even move into a different bedroom. Also, once the babies start coming, the wife/mother will likely devote her full attention to them, and essentially ignore her husband unless she wants him to take the kids off her hands for the weekend. And nearly all of the husband's paycheck goes to mama-san and the kids. So a boy growing up in such a household sees marriage like that and thinks, "Why bother getting married?"

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
3. And then there's at least one local private high school
Wed Nov 20, 2013, 08:45 AM
Nov 2013

that offers scholarships on the condition that the recipient sign a statement that he/she *will not date anyone* while the scholarship is in effect.

yuiyoshida

(41,818 posts)
4. Yup, there is that too...
Wed Nov 20, 2013, 08:49 AM
Nov 2013

Not sure when this video was shot, but I am surprised no one brought up the disaster of the Nuclear powered plant and the contamination as a factor. You know, for sure someone over here would have said... "Whats the point of having babies if they are all be affected by Radio activity!"

Thought for sure it had to come up!

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
5. It's not really such a concern outside of the Fukushima area
Wed Nov 20, 2013, 08:53 AM
Nov 2013

Here where I am, just 100 miles south of Daiichi, there is no "baby problem". I see lots and lots of kids, and young mothers pushing strollers, and new housing going up all the time. They've even built a new school or two since the disasters.

 

Nanjing to Seoul

(2,088 posts)
21. Sounds like China. In so many ways
Wed Nov 27, 2013, 03:54 AM
Nov 2013

The only difference is not only will the wife cut off her husband for her baby quota of one. . .he will tell her she isn't young or pretty anymore. As a result, he will find his xiao san and she will devote her life to her kid, raising her daughter to think the same way and raising the son to be dependent upon her for everything.

And the cycle of abuse continues.

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
22. It does sound a lot like Japan
Wed Nov 27, 2013, 04:20 AM
Nov 2013

I don't know if Japanese husbands will tell their wives that they are no longer "young and pretty" (I myself find most Japanese women to still be attractive well after child-bearing age). But the husbands will sometimes try to find a "nigou-san" (literally, "Number 2&quot or "gaaru-furendo", or maybe just an escort once in a while. Just about any "sports newspaper" will have advertisements for escort or similar services.

 

Nanjing to Seoul

(2,088 posts)
23. Chinese men will find a Xiao San (little three) or a Xiao Tai Tai (little wife)
Wed Nov 27, 2013, 08:37 AM
Nov 2013

to screw.

It's all about face. Men here get promotions if they are married with children because their Lao Ban (boss) will think they are responsible.

So a wife and child are career enhancement devices here.

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
24. Let me guess how to write Xiao San and Xiao Tai Tai
Wed Nov 27, 2013, 09:56 AM
Nov 2013

based on your recent Chinese lesson:

少三
小太太

Japanese "nigou" (mistress) is written as 二号.

 

Nanjing to Seoul

(2,088 posts)
25. 75% right
Wed Nov 27, 2013, 11:00 AM
Nov 2013

shao is 少 and it means "much" as in how much. 多少钱 (duo shao qian) How much does it

Xiao is 小. Same one as in xiao tai tai.

小三
小太太

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
26. I was typing in the characters using Japanese romanization
Wed Nov 27, 2013, 11:42 AM
Nov 2013

I knew that "xiao" was "shou" in Japanese, but "shou" in Japanese can be represented by many characters, including both 小 which means "small/little," and 少 which means "few". So I typed in しょう (shou) and the first choice that came up was 少 and I selected that one without thinking.

That's my excuse, and I'm sticking with it

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
6. Tokyo dating story
Wed Nov 20, 2013, 05:41 PM
Nov 2013

I know this guy, let's call him "Mr. X". Mr. X gets off work one Friday, and as he is getting into the elevator, so does one of his female coworkers ("Miss Y&quot . Mr. X is kind of surprised, because usually his female coworkers will duck into the nearby ladies' room if they see him getting into into the elevator after the work day has ended.

Anyway, Miss Y, who recently entered the company, gets next to Mr. X in the elevator and strikes up a conversation. There is the usual chit-chat, which, when it does occur, usually ends on the 1st floor where the elevator stops. However, Miss Y continues to walk with Mr. X to the train station, which is extremely unusual. And even when Mr. X stops to buy his ticket, Miss Y stays with him. This usually doesn't happen even when Mr. X is talking to a male coworker after work.

Anyway, they get in the train together. Mr. X is headed for Tokyo Station, Miss Y is going to Akihabara, two stations after that. They continue to talk in the train. For Mr. X, this is the first time in 4 or 5 years that he has talked to a lady in a Tokyo commuter train. The conversation appears to go well.

When the train arrives at Tokyo Station, Miss Y says, "Is this where you're getting off?" Mr. X replies, "Oh, heck, might as well go to Akihabara, because we're having such an interesting conversation."

At the turnstile at Akihabara Station, Miss Y says, "I'm meeting a long-time friend here and we're going to have dinner at a restaurant. Maybe you can join us?" Mr. X is very keen to that idea, so Miss Y goes off into a corner of the station and phones her friend. The restaurant is a reservations-only place, so it takes a while to get everything set up. But eventually, Miss Y comes back and says that it's OK, Mr. X can make it a threesome.

So the friend ("Miss Z&quot meets them at the station. They walk together to the restaurant and have a great time. During the conversation at the restaurant, Mr. X finds out that he has several things in common with Miss Y. Miss Z, the longtime friend, turns to Mr. X and says, "Looks like you've got a new girlfriend." Mr. X and Miss Y exchange coy looks.

The conversation continues until the reservation for the table has expired. Miss Y and Miss Z have further plans for the night, while Mr. X has to go back home because he has to work at another job the next day. So they accompany him to the train station. After everyone says what a great time they had, Miss Y tells Mr. X, "Monday, give me your private e-mail address".

Well, Mr. X's heart starts pounding when he hears this. After years of loneliness, and several unsuccessful attempts at dating, it seems like he might be able to finally get into an interesting relationship with a woman. He can hardly wait for Monday.

Monday comes around, and Miss Y seems to ignore him at work. But eventually she comes by Mr. X's desk and talks to him briefly about last Friday's dinner, and Mr. X gives her his private e-mail address, and eagerly awaits for her reply. But she writes a kind of a generic reply, and Mr. X is a little disappointed. But eventually, he sends her a reply telling her how he loved the get-together and how he would love to do it again. Miss Y replies that she would love to do it again as well, but first she wants to make as many new friends at the company as possible. Mr. X scratches his head and thinks, WTF?

yuiyoshida

(41,818 posts)
7. Omoshiroi ne!
Wed Nov 20, 2013, 09:57 PM
Nov 2013

Interesting story, and sounds like it could be the opening plot for a good Jdorama starring Yuji Oda as Mr. X and for Miss Y stars Honami Suzuki.

Of course it needs some appropriate music..

&list=PL3A768E50745FED0D

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
10. Here are the lyrics
Thu Nov 21, 2013, 12:12 AM
Nov 2013

もう 終わりだね 君が小さく見える
僕は思わず君を抱きしめたくなる

「私は泣かないから このままひとりにして」
君のほほを涙が 流れては落ちる

「僕らは自由だね」 いつかそう話したね
まるで今日のことなんて思いもしないで

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ

愛は悲しいね僕のかわりに君が
今日は誰かの胸に 眠るかも知れない

僕が照れるから誰も見ていない道を
寄りそい歩ける寒い日が 君は好きだった

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ

外は今日も雨 やがて雪になって
僕らの心のなかに 降り積るだろう
降り積るだろう  

yuiyoshida

(41,818 posts)
12. Lets see how reliable google translate is..
Thu Nov 21, 2013, 01:28 AM
Nov 2013

You can see small I 'm done already
I will want to hug you unintentionally

"I have to leave this alone because I do not cry "
I fall tears to flow the cheek of you

"We 's free" I said so at some point
Do not even think of thing including today though

White winter outside soon goodbye goodbye goodbye
It was love only you only you as it certainly

Love is you instead of me I sad
You may sleep in the chest of someone today

The road when nobody was looking because I shy
Cold day to be able to walk Soi more liked you

White winter outside soon goodbye goodbye goodbye
It was love only you only you as it certainly

White winter outside soon goodbye goodbye goodbye
It was love only you only you as it certainly

White winter outside soon goodbye goodbye goodbye
It was love only you only you as it certainly

Outside Become a snow soon rain today

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
13. Oh my gosh, that translation is....
Thu Nov 21, 2013, 02:51 AM
Nov 2013

awful... and funny. It's so awful, it's funny.

I'll have to set Google Translate straight on this

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
14. Art's translation of "Sayonara"
Thu Nov 21, 2013, 07:27 AM
Nov 2013

もう 終わりだね 君が小さく見える
僕は思わず君を抱きしめたくなる
Well, this is the end, isn't it? You look so small.
Without thinking, I want to hug you.

「私は泣かないから このままひとりにして」
君のほほを涙が 流れては落ちる
You say, “I will not cry, just leave me as I am”
As a tear streams down your cheek

「僕らは自由だね」 いつかそう話したね
まるで今日のことなんて思いもしないで
Didn't we once say that “We will be free”?
It's like we didn't think that day would really come.

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ
Sayonara, sayonara, sayonara, the white winter will soon be here
The one I loved, without a doubt, was only you
As you were, only you

愛は悲しいね僕のかわりに君が Love is blue, isn't it? In my place
今日は誰かの胸に 眠るかも知れない You might be sleeping in someone else's arms tonight

僕が照れるから誰も見ていない道を I slink away to the street where no one will see me
寄りそい歩ける寒い日が 君は好きだった Where you loved walking arm-in-arm with me on cold days

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ
Sayonara, sayonara, sayonara, the white winter will soon be here
The one I loved, without a doubt, was only you
As you were, only you

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ
Sayonara, sayonara, sayonara, the white winter will soon be here
The one I loved, without a doubt, was only you
As you were, only you

さよなら さよなら さよなら もうすぐ外は白い冬
愛したのはたしかに君だけ そのままの君だけ
Sayonara, sayonara, sayonara, the white winter will soon be here
The one I loved, without a doubt, was only you
As you were, only you

外は今日も雨 やがて雪になって It's raining again today. Soon it will turn to snow.
僕らの心のなかに 降り積るだろう The snow will fall and fill our hearts
降り積るだろう Fall and fill our hearts

Art_from_Ark

(27,247 posts)
20. Tokyo Dating Story, Part 2
Fri Nov 22, 2013, 08:08 AM
Nov 2013

Well, it seems that Mr. X had been pouting about his perceived botched relationship with Miss Y for the past couple of days. This morning, as he boarded the train for Tokyo, he thought to himself, "OK, I've only gotten a couple of generic e-mails from Miss Y, so I don't think she's really interested in me. After all, she had a few glasses of wine at our dinner, and no doubt she now regrets giving me the impression that she was actually interested in me, but she can't actually come out and say it. OK, I understand. Today at work, I'll just ignore her, and she will understand that I understand that she's not really interested in me."

Well, at work, Mr. X did his best to ignore Miss Y for most of the morning. But then, about a half our before lunch time, Miss Y came over to his desk.

"How would you like to have lunch with me?" she asked.

"Oh, my gawwwwwwww" thought Mr. X. "Can this be real?"
Speechless, Mr. X could only manage a "two thumbs up".

"So I take it that means 'yes'?"

"Hai, hai! Yes, yes"

"OK, let's meet at the restaurant section on the 1st floor."

Before Mr. X knew it, it was lunchtime. He saw Miss Y furtively slip out of the office, so he gathered up his things.

"Are you going home?" asked one of his co-workers, with a surprised look on his face.

"No, I'm...I'm..."

"Aha!" cried another co-worker. "Going for a secretive rendezvous, no doubt!"

"No, I...I...just want to eat at...Burger King today!" lied Mr. X.

"Uh huh, suuuuuuure."

Mr. X hurried to the elevator, only to see the doors shut just as Miss Y got in. So impatiently, he waited for the next one, which seemed to take forever. And when the next elevator came, it was too jam-packed to get in, so he waited for the next elevator. Finally, an elevator that wasn't so crowded arrived.

It seemed like forever, but the elevator finally made it to the 1st floor. Miss Y was waiting where she said she would be.

"I couldn't find an unoccupied table, so I had to ask someone if they would share a table with us" she said.

Mr. X was a little surprised. Someone had told him that Europeans do this, but in Japan it is almost unheard of to ask a complete stranger to share a table. But, no matter, at least they had someplace to sit.

After apologizing profusely to the woman who had agreed to share her table, Mr. X and Miss Y sat down for lunch. Lunch consisted of "bento" that each had brought from home. Mr. X had no idea what Miss Y was eating, because he was too busy looking at her, and thinking what a lucky day today was.

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