Erection Fraud
Erection Fraud
A precognitive fairy tale
In the far away kingdom of Bat Shit Crazy, two citizens sought to rule the land, Cranky Grandpa and the Dour Maid. They had a massive contest to see who was most loved by the people.
Grumpy Grandpa was much adored for his simple ways and his concern for the subjects of the realm. He came from a tiny hamlet but he inspired worlds of confidence throughout the kingdom, particularly among younger people known as the serfs. They knew that inside that grumpy exterior was a kind and warm heart and love for the people.
The Dour Maid with the surgically implanted smile would have none of this adoration of Grandpa. She needed no mirror to know the fairest of them all. Why it’s the Dour Maid she and her supporters said again and again and again. This was the repeated story told by the town criers – Dour Maid is beloved by the world, a wise and generous woman. Surely said the town criers; Dour Maid will crush the Cranky one and his serfs.
As the people of Bat Shit Crazy began their endless cycles of elections for ruler, a strange thing happened. The subjects rebelled against the town criers and their universal message about the Dour Maid. They remembered the far away kingdoms the Maid tried to help and the sadness that befell those lands. They realized that the Maid’s best friends were not the subjects but the wealthy bankers. They concluded that the facade erected for Dour Maid was a fraud.
As the Dour Maid’s campaign based on erection fraud crumbled, the subjects of Bat Shit Crazy flocked to Grumpy Grandpa who brought peace and prosperity to the land.
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In this best of possible worlds
