Trump Warns That Clinton Will Rig Debate by Using Facts

[Coyotl]

Borowitz Report
Trump Warns That Clinton Will Rig Debate by Using Facts
By Andy Borowitz , 11:50 A.M.

TOLEDO (The Borowitz Report)—At a campaign rally on Friday, Donald Trump warned that Hillary Clinton is scheming to “rig the debate by using facts” in their first televised face-off, on Monday.

“You just watch, folks,” Trump told supporters in Toledo, Ohio. “Crooked Hillary is going to slip in little facts all night long, and that’s how she’s going to try to rig the thing.”

“It’s a disgrace,” he added...............

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes the Borowitz Report for newyorker.com.

Follow Andy on Facebook.

[Thinkingabout]

1. Damn, Trump is a fact free zone.

[BumRushDaShow]

2. That shouldn't even be a Borowitz-ism

This election season has certainly been challenging for the poor guy!

[Kathy M]

3. Don is going to rig the preception of the debate

was at another site earlier , read a statement that don will be winner of online poll ( winner of debate ) no matter what what the " talking heads " say

Normally do not vote in those online polls but will this time

[Augiedog]

4. Even worse, she will use rational thought and valid argument, much to his chagrin and fury.

[NewJeffCT]

7. and complete sentences

and vocabulary beyond elementary school levels.

[anamandujano]

13. I hate it when that happens. She is a serial offender.

[Sunny05]

16. 😀

Love the pics.

[Sunny05]

15. 👍 / nt

[volstork]

24. Wel, what do you expect

from a WOMAN?!?!?

[Sunny05]

14. 😊 / nt

[BSdetect]

5. MODERATOR should use this drumph claim as the basis of the very first question.

Delusional drumph

[packman]

6. Dammit, Hillary using FACTS !

Why that's just outrageous.

[misterhighwasted]

29. Omg! Haaahaaa!!

[cynzke]

8. ONLY TRUMP COULD USE THAT EXCUSE AND IT WOULD APPEAR PLAUSIBLE TO HIS SUPPORTERS!

[rurallib]

9. Trump should hire an unfact checker

to sneer some put down like 'egghead' or 'fancy pants' or some such comment every time Hillary states a fact.
That'll show her!

Yes I know it is satire.

[LiberalLovinLug]

10. That's funny, but its probably close to the truth

[SunSeeker]

12. He did: Roger Ailes. nt

[Sunny05]

17. LOL. 😂 / nt

[LynneSin]

11. I've come to conclusion that even Trump knows his supporters are pretty stupid

If Hillary is slipping in 'little facts' then what does that mean Trump is using? He knows he's full of shit but riding the high tide of stupidity from his supporters.

[calimary]

26. That's for sure.

Don't know if anybody saw this but it's a GQ column that sure speaks for how I feel about all this.

http://www.gq.com/story/a-word-for-donald-trump-voters

And, for a chaser, it has a 17-minute Keith Olbermann segment (mentioned in the essay itself) listing DOZENS of moments, issues, lies, and other assorted bullshit that's come out of Trump's mouth or from his actions and deeds that underscore what a shitty prospect he is on Election Day. Just shitty.

I've been fuming for awhile about the voters in cases like this. I've long wondered - "who the fuck VOTES for these shitty, ignorant, sexist, racist, xenophobic and totally unspooled paranoiacs?" None of them would be in any positions of power without THE VOTERS who stand behind them and push them forward onto the rest of us and somehow, bewilderingly, inexplicably, find these miscreants fit for public office. Like, for example, who the hell VOTES for a certified idiot like Louie Gohmert? Who the hell votes for a Bronze-Age thinker like James Inhofe?

It's the VOTERS whom I fault the most. This needs to be said. Glad at least GQ and Keith are saying so in print, and out loud.

[NastyRiffraff]

18. You know, when I read the title of the OP

I didn't think it was Borowitz, The Onion, or any other parody-related site. I thought it was real, and I STILL think it's very close to the truth.

It's getting harder and harder to tell parody or sarcasm from the truth, when it's about Trump.

[Coyotl]

21. So true. I thought the same thing when I saw how the RNC had just endorsed Hillary.

Oh wait, that endorsement is secret until Tuesday afternoon.

[allan01]

19. danger . danger . Trump Warns That Clinton Will Rig Debate by Using Facts

[demosincebirth]

20. Unbelievable!

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

22. But that would pop the Fux Noise bubble

[LiberalFighter]

23. I'm trying to determine if it is really satire or real.

Just too close to call.

[Coyotl]

25. More comedy: Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis: Hillary Clinton

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/b2fc974d1d/between-two-ferns-with-zach-galifianakis-hillary-clinton

"white power tie" much more appropriate .....

[chillfactor]

27. destroyed by facts....

imagine that!

[misterhighwasted]

28. Haahaaa

[Wash. state Desk Jet]

30. Hello Folks : The Donald Here : )

I know you are confused as much as I am where facts come across the table at high stakes events. Let me just tell you what I know about facts ,in fact information I left out in my book the art of the deal. You see the way I see it which is the way it is from where I stand,- facts are what you look at -you can quote facts ,you can read all about it but what you do not see or hear of is the fact that facts are almost always if not always sauteed in fictional descriptions which are in effect lies.

And so if my opponent is in effect figuratively standing there with a squirt gun randomly squirting out little facts when it seems convenient, in my book those facts are just little lies and to me that is totally unfair !

I'll not be squirted at on stage for world to watch.



I know what they are try'en to do and it ain't gonna work ,they are not going to land my balls back there in the pond !
I will not have it said , The Donald Has No Balls !

They better not say that !

[Coyotl]

31. Not satire: Bruce Springsteen Calls Donald Trump a 'Moron'

Bruce Springsteen Calls Donald Trump a 'Moron'

What do you make of the Trump phenomenon?
Well, you know, the republic is under siege by a moron, basically. The whole thing is tragic. Without overstating it, it’s a tragedy for our democracy. When you start talking about elections being rigged, you’re pushing people beyond democratic governance. And it’s a very, very dangerous thing to do. Once you let those genies out of the bottle, they don’t go back in so easy, if they go back in at all. The ideas he’s moving to the mainstream are all very dangerous ideas – white nationalism and the alt-right movement. The outrageous things that he’s done – not immediately disavowing David Duke? These are things that are obviously beyond the pale for any previous political candidate. It would sink your candidacy immediately.

I believe that there’s a price being paid for not addressing the real cost of the deindustrialization and globalization that has occurred in the United States for the past 35, 40 years and how it’s deeply affected people’s lives and deeply hurt people to where they want someone who says they have a solution. And Trump’s thing is simple answers to very complex problems. Fallacious answers to very complex problems. And that can be very appealing.

.................

[womanofthehills]

32. I posted this to my Facebook page

Haa Haa - It's going to confuse the less bright ones.

[texanwitch]

33. You know he will call her names.

That is all he has except for lies.

[YOHABLO]

34. This debate ought to be really really good. I hope he ruins his ''brand'' completely.