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Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:47 PM

The CDC to investigate whether or not 'Palinitis' is a contagious disease.

AP
Atlanta
Dewey Cheetham


With today's Super Gaffe "Romney is an Etch a Sketch" and "were going to take back everything we said after the nomination" and yesterday's Santorum Super Gaffe" "I don't care about the unemployment number" serious minds have to wonder whether or not the mind numbing insularity and bizzare penchant for self immolation on the campaign trail is in fact a contagious disease that has run amok among Presidential contenders.

A careful epidomological study has begun by the CDC to see who has had contact with what Republican nominees/celebrity gadflys. In order to trace the progress of the disease epidomologists are going back to the first candidate who showed full blown Palinitis, Michelle Backmann, and trace to see how this insidious disease is being spread among Republican politicians/and psuedo politician hucksters.

The strain is seen as morphing radically as different Republicans are showing different but still related symptoms: Governors McDonnell (forced ultrasound), Daniels (right to work), Scott (too many symptoms to list), Walker (public union busting) all seem to have been infected. More and more Senators and Congressman, Ryan (repeating the disastorous elimination of Medicare), Sterns (birther guy) all seem to indicate that this is a particular virulent strain of a brain reducing virus that seems to attack a Republicans ability to process normal human thoughts.

Some early attempts at screening have shown alarming results: A whopping 63% of Republican politicians tested were unaware that Ammendment 19 to the Constitution gave women the right to vote. An even larger percent, 78% were unaware that most Americans enjoyed sexual activity and relied on birth control prescriptions in order to enjoy more frequent sexual activity. Over 53% of the test group could not identify OPEC or what they did and were convinced that the President set the nation's gas prices at the daily staff meeting. Most surprising in the results were 84% of those tested stated that the Iraq war achieved "Mission Accomplished" status withing 6 months of initial hostilities, that massive stocks of WMD were found and that a war with Iran would take more or less than 6-9 months with the main obstacle for our troops trying to get the deliriously happy Iranian population to return to normal day to day activity after the first bombs started to fall on Tehran.

Leading CDC scientists said that they expected that the results of their studies should be completed around the second week of November.

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Reply The CDC to investigate whether or not 'Palinitis' is a contagious disease. (Original post)
grantcart Mar 2012 OP
whistler162 Mar 2012 #1
ThisThreadIsSatire Mar 2012 #2
denem Mar 2012 #3
grantcart Mar 2012 #4
cliffordu Mar 2012 #5
denem Mar 2012 #6
denem Mar 2012 #7
grantcart Mar 2012 #8

Response to grantcart (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 08:51 PM

1. Thank you for explaining the research into

your particular disease!

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 09:23 PM

2. Thanks for the insight...

... perhaps 'enhanced interrogation' of the victims -- which in their most coherent days, they support -- will yield 'actionable intelligence...

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 09:30 PM

3. 'All I want is Christmas is my Two Front teeth'

 

there will be hell to pay in December.

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Response to ThisThreadIsSatire (Reply #2)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 09:30 PM

4. It is worth a try


what could it hurt?

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 09:40 PM

5. Well......

Last edited Thu Mar 22, 2012, 01:10 AM - Edit history (1)



Howdy, Dewey!!

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Response to cliffordu (Reply #5)

Wed Mar 21, 2012, 09:56 PM

6. That's 'Dewey', Thomas Edmund Dewey.

 

1n 1948 after the Democrats regained control of both Hoses of Congress, Howdy Dewey was not something Republicans said again, ever again.

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Response to grantcart (Original post)

Thu Mar 22, 2012, 12:15 AM

7. Mr. Grant, are you sure have progressed beyond the cruelty

 

of that naughty little boy who made young Mormons cry?

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Response to denem (Reply #7)

Thu Mar 22, 2012, 09:25 AM

8. well no but I try and keep it to a minimum.

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