CHRISTIE CALLS TRUMP GENIUS FOR PLAN TO BURN DOWN WHITE HOUSE AND COLLECT INSURANCE

[Zorro]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Governor Chris Christie, of New Jersey, called Donald J. Trump a “genius” on Monday for his controversial plan to burn down the White House to collect insurance money.

Appearing on Fox News, Christie said that Trump’s scheme to collect fire-insurance payments on the White House would “make a serious dent” in the national debt.

“It’s not just the White House,” Christie told Fox’s Sean Hannity. “That building is chock-full of priceless antiques, paintings, and rugs, all of which, when burned, would fetch a pretty penny.”

The New Jersey governor said that Trump’s “totally genius business acumen” would set him apart from all previous Presidents. “We’ve had forty-plus occupants of the White House, and not one of them ever considered the business advantages of burning it down,” Christie said.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/christie-calls-trump-genius-for-plan-to-burn-down-white-house-and-collect-insurance

[unblock]

1. wait wait where's the red carpet??

i thought if there wasn't a red carpet he'd turn around and fly home, didn't he?

[C_U_L8R]

2. Up the river to bask in the brilliance of The Donald™

[Doreen]

3. Uh

Can you say that just sounds anti-American?

[Codeine]

4. Satire is hard. nt

[msanthrope]

9. No shit. I haven't been the same since this one.....

http://www.theonion.com/article/bush-our-long-national-nightmare-of-peace-and-pros-464

[madinmaryland]

11. I remember reading that in 2001 and thinking it can't

Be that bad. But holy shit, that satire piece was spot on.

[Ilsa]

5. Christie must believe in climate change.

He's already adjusted his trousers for rising oceans.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

6. For some reason, the larger the waist pant, the shorter the legs.

My husband is 6'4" and wears a size 40 jeans. I have to go through stacks and stacks, and usually can't find a 40" waist pair with a 32" inseam, which he needs. The longest is almost always 30" inseam. Before he graduated from a 38" waist, I never had any trouble finding the 32" inseams.

When you get up into whatever Christie wears, 50-something-inch waist, I'm guessing, the inseams must stop at about 20".

[Ilsa]

8. You'd think with a suit,

The tailor would make certain he had a proper length. Even if the suit isn't tailored, a proper retailer would get the length right.

I hate trying to find jeans for my husband and boys. All three are different; different brands preferred as well.

[Dark n Stormy Knight]

10. Good points. Maybe whoever he's buying his suits from is secretly

a Democrat!

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

7. So I guess Trump's paying for all of Christie's snacks