Yes, he touched my rear end. Yes, I'd vote for him again. Context is everything.

[Pacifist Patriot]

A friend on Facebook recently asked people if they knew then what they know now about Bill Clinton, would they still vote for him? It was an attempt, of course, to somehow justify still voting for Trump after the heinous words and allegations continue to build.

Most of my friends know the story of when I met Bill Clinton and he touched my butt. Sounds horrific, doesn't it?

When I said I'd still have voted for him, I was pounced on. Because I was a victim of assault by him, so how is that even possible?!?! What a hypocrit I was. *cue the wringing hands and faux concern*

Here's the deal. Women aren't dumb and we've got incredible powers of intuition. We have spidey senses we can generally rely on that tell us whether a guy is creepy or not. We also appreciate the subtleties of context.

My husband does business with a lot of Europeans and South Americans. I don't flinch when I meet them for the first time and they put their hands on my shoulders, pull me to them, and air kiss both cheeks, sometimes grazing my face with their lips ever so lightly when they miscalculate distance. It's understood as a cultural norm and I have never gotten anything but a "polite, this is what I'm supposed to do to show my respect to my colleague's spouse upon greeting her" vibe from any of these men.

However, I have had an American male I did not know pull me towards him and try to kiss my cheek in a bar. It was just creepy.

Context.

So why was I not offended Bill Clinton put his uninvited hand on my backside? Because I had just inadvertently trod on his shoe (stabbed him in the foot with a stiletto heel) causing him to cry out in pain and me to stumble and almost fall. He reached out to steady me, saving me from even more embarrassment, patted me on the behind/lower back (In heels I was measuring in at 6'2" that night) with a gentle push away from him and said, "there you go young lady" in a tone that reminded me of one of my southern male relatives dusting off a little girl sandy from a fall on the playground and sending her back out to play. It didn't feel like a grab, a grope, or fortuitous sexualized contact. No creepy vibe whatsoever.

However, I have had a boss who patted me on my way once with the exact same kind of contact. I immediately felt the sinking feeling in my stomach and ice water in my veins that told me a boundary had been most decidedly crossed and my boss was a creep.

Context.

The women making allegations of assault and sexual impropriety on the part of Donald Trump? I trust their intuition. They knew immediately it felt wrong. And if it felt wrong, it was wrong.

[Wounded Bear]

1. K & R ......thanks for sharing...nt

[Lifelong Protester]

2. Yep. Sorry, Melania-"Boy Talk"doesn't do it for me.

[Madam45for2923]

8. Yes! Plus I like my Presidents grown-up!

Not Boy nor teenager makes the bar for me!

[napi21]

3. That is one terrific explanation of how most women react to surprise male advances.

I'm old now, but how you described those kind of advances is exactly how I responded many, many times over the years.

[Fast Walker 52]

4. haha-- I didn't see that coming!

Is this your story Pacifist Patriot?

[Pacifist Patriot]

6. It is indeed.

Happened in 1988 when he was still Governor of Arkansas.

[Fast Walker 52]

14. wow-- your "brush with history"

[Pacifist Patriot]

15. It was a fun night.

Got to see him give the keynote speech at the W&L Mock Democratic Convention and then play the hell out of the saxophone at a party later.

[rivegauche]

5. That was bracingly refreshing to read.

In an eras when soooooo many media people seem to have their heads up their own butts about it. I think 90% of sane women completely understand what you wrote, because we have all lived it. As you said, we aren't stupid. We know in our bones when someone is being a slimebag.

[hamsterjill]

7. I love this post! Thank you!

Yes, women DO have that intuition. And we should always trust that intuition.

To me, the component to the Trump situation that is so particularly disgusting is the fact that he was making unwanted advances toward women over whom he had some sort of financial control. Again, that intuition. Women will know immediately what I'm saying here.

Trump was comfortable making those advances because the women he took advantage of were not in a position to fight back. And he knew it. He didn't pick women who he thought might publicly humiliate him or slap the shit out of him. He picked women who were in a position of needing to "be nice" to him. He took advantage of that vulnerability.

He verifies this in his own words on the Access Hollywood tape IMHO when he says (paraphrasing because I'm too lazy to look it up) "when you're a star they let you do anything".

[Pacifist Patriot]

9. Exactly.

The creepy predatory behavior predicated on exploiting the exaggerated power differential is disgusting.

[bettyellen]

10. Big context most fail to point out- this was usually while women were trying to work- and Donald

Could have screwed up their employment- indeed dos screw up their employment after. That's no where near a locker room, it's the workplace!!

[Ligyron]

13. Very good point! eom

[bettyellen]

16. So many of us can relate to that- seems like most men don't get that!!

[Kashkakat v.2.0]

11. EXACTLY. Context in this case being a whole history of misogynistic statements and actions

oming before release of the tape. The tape was only the straw that broke the camels back.

AND, then there'salso the aftermath - his whole response which is to deny and smear and attack the wpmen who came forward.

I might have been (maybe...) mildly sympathetic had he been acting reasonably presidential before the release of the tape, and had he responded with an apology something like " I was in show biz then but Ive seen the follies of my ways and have grown up." But we all know THAT aint gonna happen.

[niyad]

12. k and r and thanks for sharing this. context is indeed everything.

[AgadorSparticus]

17. K&R

[Cha]

18. Intriguing story, Pacifist Patriot.. Mahalo

Last edited Wed Oct 19, 2016, 08:07 AM - Edit history (1)

for sharing it. Well done!

Just saying the other night.. "Context is Everything."

[Pacifist Patriot]

19. One of those stories that can be made to sound way more intriguing than the actual circumstances.

Diving deeper...I desperately had to go to the bathroom because Gov. Clinton was something like 60-90 minutes late delivering the keynote speech at W&L's Mock Democratic Convention in 1988. We students had been drinking heavily in the meantime and I was no exception.

I finally gave up and headed for the bathroom only to find this group of about four men in suits blocking one of the aisles that cut over to the facilities. I tried to scoot around them and that's when I ended up stepping on Clinton's foot. Good thing he was a governor and not president then. I might have caused a little incident with Secret Service had that been the case.

After the incident, the friend I was with tugged on my arm and hissed, "You just impaled the governor of Arkansas!" My response was, "Who?"

Later that night he was at one of the state convention parties and got up on stage and played the saxophone. We were all pretty much flabbergasted. Holy smoke, a cool politician. Who'd a thunk it? I apologized for stepping on him and he cracked a joke about it, but for the life of me I have no memory of what he said. Only that it made several of us burst out laughing.

So I can legitimately and intriguingly say a POTUS has touched my ass. But I think context makes it an even better story.

[Cha]

20. Way Intriguing! You are a part

of history.. there's no getting around it!

I love your story.. we should all have our own. I did meet Hillary in upper state New York at a fundraiser in 2001. I was invited by a activist Dem in the county. She introduced me to her and I actually talked to her so I will be able to say hopefully(don't want to jinx anything) that I talked to a POTUS in person back in the day and took her picture.

I had forgotten that until I started writing this post!