Rand Paul delivers rousing speech in bid to end plagiarism scandal (Satire)

[KennedyBrothers]

Note: This is a satire, but you know, stranger things have happened ...

Desperately trying to face down the plagiarism scandal threatening to doom his 2016 presidential aspirations, Republican Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky on Friday gave an impassioned speech to supporters at the Iowa State Fairgrounds in Des Moines, the same site where then-Sen. Joe Biden's presidential bid stalled in 1987 after allegations he plagiarized a speech by former British Labour Party leader Neil Kinnock.

“One score and six years ago,” Paul began, “a man seeking the presidency took some words out of a British politician’s mouth. That man was Joe Biden, and it was not his finest hour.”

And yet, Paul reminded the audience, Biden went on to become vice president of the United States

“And now, my fellow Americans, the torch has been passed to a new generation of alleged plagiarists, born in the middle of the last century, disciplined by the philosophy of Ayn Rand, proud of our pre-civil rights era heritage,” Paul said, the energy in his voice rising. “We are unwilling to witness or permit obstacles in my path toward becoming your president, a goal to which I have always been committed and to which I am committed today, at my old Kentucky home and in all the states George Wallace carried in 1968.”

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[Rosa Luxemburg]

1. He is a complete idiot