Farley: 'Patriots' gamble that Porta Potties will await

Farley is a columnist in the Reno Gazette Journal - he puts a humorous spin on the right wing crazies.......

The first time someone told me President Obama would resign on May 16, I rolled my eyes.

I think I rolled my eyes. It was 2 a.m. My senses weren't finely tuned.

"Right-wing wacko," I told my wife, and went back to sleep.

A couple of days later, I overheard part of a conversation in a restaurant.

"Obama will be gone on the 16th...," a woman said.

This week my wife, who's active in the movement to protect Nevada's wild horses, was talking with a stranger on the phone (note to self: unlisted number) about a BLM mustang roundup. At one point, according to Terri, the woman said in a how-could-you-forget tone, "But Obama will resign on the 16th, so. ..."

Fool me once, join the crowd. When three people in 10 days say Obama's a goner, though, it filters in.

My first thought was to call the White House, but people at the phone-answering level wouldn't be in on such a high-level secret. Instead, I googled "bat crap crazy."

No, I didn't. I googled "May 16 Obama." Got the same result, though: It led me to patriotsforamerica.ning.com.

Patriots for America is a right-wing group in the way that Al Capone was a criminal, and apparently it's behind the May 16 reports. According to its Website, 10 million "patriots, veterans, bikers, truckers and Christian prayer warriors" will hit the Capitol Mall in Washington, D.C., on that day and "replace the government."

Not protest. Not "try to." Replace.

They've got it planned, in the way the Bush administration planned the invasion of Iraq. Phase 1 is to show up: "Millions" of patriots will gather "with the mission to replace (the existing government) with law-abiding leadership. Go full bore, no looking back, steadfast in the mission."

In Phase 2, "One million or more of the assembled 10 million must be prepared to stay in D.C. as long as it takes to see Obama, Biden, Reid, McConnell, Boehner, Pelosi and attorney general Holder removed from office."

So they'll be bringing lunch. When it's over, though, "states will appoint replacements for positions vacated."

Next, Phase 3 establishes a tribunal ("with the principles of a West, Cruz, Dr. Ben Carson, Lee, DeMint, Paul..." to "assume positions of authority to convene investigations and recommend appropriate charges against politicians and government employees to the new attorney general appointed by the new president."

No word on how the new president will be selected, or where 10 million bikers, truckers and assorted patriots will do what Grandma used to call Their Business. Apparently, like Bush in Iraq, they expect to be welcomed with open arms. And Porta Potties.

Ten million is a lot of people; I'd put the over-under on the number who actually show at about 400 (which Fox will report as "thousands".

I could be wrong, though. The loony right is inspirited and emboldened by the Cliven Bundy debacle. It may take the stand it's dreamed of for so long ... all crowded together, in an containable location, in the seat of the creature they despise.

Perfect place for napalm, if we had the government they say we do. I guess they're betting we don't.

Cory Farley is a freelance writer who lives in Verdi.

http://www.rgj.com/story/opinion/columnists/2014/04/27/farley-patriots-gamble-porta-potties-will-await/8059473/