Can you predict tomorrow's terrible revelation about Bernie?

[MannyGoldstein]

Yesterday was the accusation that, 40 years ago, as an MRA*, he concocted a theory that orgasms can cure cervical cancer - turned out that he had simply referenced a peer-reviewed scientific journal in an article he wrote.

Today he's guilty of ethics violations.

Any guesses on what gobstopping outrage will be unearthed tomorrow? Bernie never lets a day go by without masticating, often in public?


*yes, that was claimed on DU today.

[Depaysement]

1. "Masticating"

Hilarious!

[eridani]

30. What about matriculating? I'm sure he did that in Chicago n/t

[MannyGoldstein]

37. There's nothing wrong with mastication

It's a natural thing to do.

But in public? Sometimes with young children nearby?

[GoneFishin]

55. Sometimes with whipped cream, so they allege.

[DanTex]

2. No revelations. He couldn't beat the GOP yesterday, and he won't be able to tomorrow.

Which suits the contingent of the far left who prefers Republicans to not-left-enough Democrats just fine.

[MannyGoldstein]

4. Aww...

[DanTex]

6. Really?

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

16. Yes.

[DanTex]

19. Did not see that one coming...

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

21. Nice...

[DanTex]

22. Must be the money...

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

25. Mo Money...

[DanTex]

28. It's all about the... (last one, gotta go to sleep, it's been fun)

[daleanime]

34. Gotta be the Radicals...

[MannyGoldstein]

17. OK.

[DanTex]

20. Well played.

[MannyGoldstein]

35. Thank you.

[tk2kewl]

77. Cake

[Aerows]

36. Raise you :)

Big Broken Machine

[artislife]

117. NIN ! wish I could do the backwards N nt

[Fawke Em]

80. I love opening Bernie threads and seeing Pete Townshend.

LOL!

[rpannier]

60. Don't care which side of the argument you're on

Pink Floyd is an automatic 15 points and a free turn

[London Lover Man]

9. Got the polls to prove it?

<crickets chirping>

Didn't think so. I've been waiting for a Bernie vs Republicans polls. Logic tells us in theory, that if Bernie is able to defeat Clinton in the primary, then Bernie should win in a massive landslide against any said Republican.

I know the secret to Bernie's path to the White House. Do you? You have to think outside of the picture. That's what Bernie is doing.

[eridani]

27. He'll draw more GOP and alienated voters than Clinton could ever dream of.

Last edited Wed Jul 15, 2015, 01:55 AM - Edit history (1)

There are way more angry populists among Republicans than banksters and neocons. At least some will decide that they hate banksters more than non-white people.

[kath]

53. DOP? Sorry, my brain is tired from all the fun on that epic fail orgasm thread.

[kath]

63. Oh, I see it was just a typo. And here I thought there was some new hip acronym that

i wasn't cool enough to understand.
Whew!

[eridani]

64. Sorry--still getting used to my new glasses and cataract operation. n/t

[kath]

69. Hey, no worries! At all. My typing is total crap on this ipad thingy. Spend half my time backspacing

, trying to correct the typos that I manage to catch.

[Scootaloo]

116. Wait. You're the one promoting republicans with this line of thought

Where every single Republican candidate is a policy juggernaut, and all of the Democratic candidates are feeble and useless idiots who shouldn't even be running, except - of course - for the one you favor.

[DanTex]

119. Did I say "policy juggernaut." Or remotely imply it?

No. The Republicans are all horribly wrong on policy. But there are a lot of conservatives and moderates in the US. And winning a campaign these days requires a lot of cash.

I don't want this to be reality, but it is. Given the circumstances, Hillary is much better suited to take on the GOP than the other Dems.

[Scootaloo]

120. That's what your argument amounts to, DanTex

Yes, there are a lot of conservatives, and not a fucking one of them is going to vote for clinton, no matter how much she begs them to, with her promises of "bipartisanship" (which even you have to know means "letting republicans run roughshod&quot and her complete dismissal of liberals and the left. Hinging your bet on the assumption that she'll somehow manage to "cross over" and pick up conservatives, to the point where her loss of the left in her own party's bse doesn't matter, is just plain stupid.

As I said. it amounts to you promoting Republicans. Whether that's your intent or not, it's how it ends up. You first promote the idea that Republicans are invincible and that the democratic field is too incompetent to beat them. Then you Push clinton, on hte presumptions that you think she will "do well" with conservative voters... Even after having acknowledged ot me that you know she won't do well with the left in her own party.

I don't think you want Clinton to win, DanTex.

[DanTex]

121. You're kidding. What happened to the intelligent Scootaloo from I/P?

To say that a lot of people will vote for Republicans is not the same thing as saying that Republicans are good. A lot of people voted for W. A lot of people in Wisconsin voted for Scott Walker.

Fine, you can disagree with me about my assessment of the electorate's proclivities. Hey, maybe you're right, Bernie's motivating the left might offset his lack of funds and his perceived socialism. I don't think so, but that has nothing to do with "promoting Republicans".

Find me somewhere, anywhere, where I said anything good about what any Republican has stood for. Then you can accuse me of promoting Republicans. What I'm promoting is winning elections.

eta: speaking of the I/P Scootaloo, why aren't you outraged about Bernie's failure to call out apartheid, to stop the military aid, to call war crimes war crimes, and all that. Can I assume by that that you are implicitly in favor of giving Israel a pass? Or maybe you are a political realist sometimes too.

[frylock]

3. Is it true that Bernie Sanders once shot a man just for snoring too loud?

Is that why he wants everyone to have teh assault Uzis? #justaskingquestions

[MannyGoldstein]

7. Certainly, those are sensible questions

that every sensible American should be asking about a man who could potentially hand all of America's nuclear codes to his fellow Socialists.

[Aerows]

33. Well

He didn't shoot a man just to watch him die.

I'm iffy on this one, frylock.

[rpannier]

59. Some people say

And you know... that's as good as a fact

[DisgustipatedinCA]

83. He shot a man in Reno just to keep up with Johnny Cash. nt

[London Lover Man]

5. Let's see.. what meme will they recycle next?

Guilty of writing something sexist 40+ years ago? ✔
Guilty of being a socialist? ✔
Guilty of not attracting minorities or PoC? ✔
Guilty of reasonable gun control? ✔
Guilty of having a kid out of wedlock? ✔
Guilty of long support of LGBTQI rights? ✔


What other memes have I missed out?

[MannyGoldstein]

8. Does being responsible for slavery

fall under #3?

[London Lover Man]

13. I'd put it under a sub-meme of the same meme...

Just rehashed into a different form, methinks...

[kath]

66. You missed not having a big enough bank account.

Series!

[Erich Bloodaxe BSN]

76. I heard that 40+ years ago... he didn't recycle! nt

[Bjorn Against]

10. I heard that he got in trouble at school when he was in kindergarten and had to sit in the corner

[winter is coming]

23. I heard he was a paste-eater.

[Bjorn Against]

26. And when he was a toddler he used to frequently steal from the cookie jar

Stealing is a crime so this means that Bernie became a criminal before he even got out of diapers.

[kath]

68. Oh, God!! Not one of those!!

[QC]

11. He shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

12. It has to be the hair.

Somebody will claim that Bernie is 100% Rogain.

[London Lover Man]

14. Aw man, now you done it.

Now we're going to attract Rogain(e) Democrats!

[R. Daneel Olivaw]

18. Flapper Democrats!

[WillyT]

15. He Doesn't Play Nice With Others ?

[MannyGoldstein]

24. He might be Jewish!

Someone needs to check into that!



ATTENTION JURORS: this post is sarcasm, no matter what nutty story the alerter told you.

[Aerows]

45. Bernie Sanders is a Jew?

Well that changes my support for him ... Not at all!

Hell, it might have just strengthened it, if steel clad support isn't enough.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

51. Don't sweat it. I'm sure SOMEONE is going to bring that up.

[Scootaloo]

115. Oh, after watching the campaign against Obama...

I'm almost certain it's going to become central to someone on the field before the convention

[Spitfire of ATJ]

122. It will be a surrogate. Someone willing to go out in a blaze of stupidity for her....

Last time it was Geraldine Ferraro.

[cui bono]

29. He pooped his pants in public for several continuous years

beginning as soon as he arrived on this beautiful planet.

What an ingrate.

[Enthusiast]

71. Pffft!

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[moondust]

31. Argyle socks.

[Aerows]

32. I have it on good authority

that he made doo doo art when he was 2.

2 years old, he was already making doo doo art.

[Le Taz Hot]

38. We only support Bernie

because we don't want a woman president. I don't know, that's just as believable as all the others.

[Aerows]

44. LOL.

Bernie Sanders is the candidate that actually *does* know how to change a diaper and bake cookies .

[cherokeeprogressive]

39. Caught hopping the turnstile on the A train when he was 16.

[winter is coming]

40. He leaves the seat up. n/t

[Aerows]

43. And leaves the toothpaste

tube wide open.

[Enthusiast]

72. We cannot tolerate this!

[HooptieWagon]

41. He shaped the NE Punk Rock scene*

*actually true.

http://www.vice.com/read/how-bernie-sanders-242-main-street-shaped-the-northeast-punk-scene-515

[LWolf]

82. This needs to be an OP.

[Aerows]

42. According to rumor

He eats carrots dipped in chocolate.

We don't need such a decadent candidate.

[SoapBox]

46. He tells the truth!

Since that is now a crime.

[AgingAmerican]

47. Tomorrow he will eat the LAST BANANA!

After it is revealed he puts his pants on BOTH LEGS AT A TIME!!

[Aerows]

48. I'm still caught between

the hatrack, the female orgasm, and somebody eating fruit.

It doesn't seem to dawn on me that any of the above are bad things.

[Rosa Luxemburg]

49. That the New Yourk Times found out that he used to folk dance

wearing a Scottish kilt.

[kath]

74. But did he go regimental while wearing that kilt?

Inquiring minds NEED to know.

[beam me up scottie]

50. He likes Barry Manilow.

[Enthusiast]

73. Wait, what?

[MannyGoldstein]

75. Too late.

Beamed up.

We'll never know.

[beam me up scottie]

108. It's true!!!

I read it in a socialist rag, someone saw a cassette of BM's greatest hits in the back window of Bernie's old Saturn.

And it had been played so much most of the ink had rubbed off!

[Enthusiast]

109. I bet it was his wife's tape.

[beam me up scottie]

110. Yes! It's my boyfriend's, er I mean Bernie's wife's!

[Violet_Crumble]

84. I'd vote for someone who likes Barry Manilow...

But only if they think Mandy is a far superior song to Copa Cabana. Otherwise they're dead to me!

[arcane1]

103. Agreed wholeheartedly!

[beam me up scottie]

107. That would be the deal breaker for me too.

Like voting for someone who prefers Dire Straits' Money for Nothin over Telegraph Road.

[rpannier]

52. Masticating???

Doesn't that have something to do with the ancestors of elephants?
Sounds pretty scandalous to me
But not as scandalous as Bernie practicing monogamy
I was so upset when I heard that

[HooptieWagon]

56. It's a tough subject.

[rpannier]

58. Yep.

Right up there with talking politics, religion and the Great Pumpkin (Linus. It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown)

[CharlotteVale]

54. That he voted for the Iraq war? Oh wait, that was Hillary.

[sgtbenobo]

57. I remember this one time...

.... I was twirling my cigar....thinking it could not get better than this. Oh, Monica! Oh, Monica!

Now you can leave.

[safeinOhio]

70. Was he not, at one time

a Goldwater girl?

[NanceGreggs]

61. Hate to nit-pick ...

... but I've been known to indulge in the exercise upon occasion - WHO here ever said BS "concocted a theory that orgasms can cure cervical cancer"? From the first time that "story" (and a rather dumb one, at that) was posted here, it included the source, and the fact that BS was referencing a journal - and NOT that he had "concocted" any theory whatsoever.

As for your link, an OP entitled "Did Bernie Sanders Just Violate Senate Ethics Rules?" falls far short - in fact, light-years short - of claiming he is guilty of ethics violations.

With respect to the *yes, that was claimed on DU today, if you put an asterisk after every ridiculous claim made on DU today alone, the * on your keyboard would have been worn-out and non-functional by noon.

[JaneyVee]

62. Now now. You're interrupting a perfectly good persecution party.

[Bobbie Jo]

85. Forget it, he's rolling.

[IMG][/IMG]

[Aerows]

65. He licked a cane toad!

Oh My GOD I saw him do it and he's not fit to tie his shoes!1!1!

[Rosa Luxemburg]

86. He did?

OMG!

[Aerows]

67. It would be hillarious

if Fox News picked up on a bunch of these a "Breaking News".

[Rosa Luxemburg]

87. especially

Bernie was in a Scottish regiment.

[kath]

105. And if it was discovered that he goes regimental while wearing that kilt, I can just see the

headlines:

Sanders Scorns Skivvies!!

[vt_native]

78. a friend of a friend once saw Bernie

at the supermarket, in the ten items or less line with TWELVE items.

[winter is coming]

89. Your friend of a friend is clearly a smear artist.

I heard it was a 12-pack of brewskis. One item. ONEEEEEEEEEEEE!

[Snotcicles]

79. Well, I hope this doesn't bring his campaign to a halt but,

I heard the other day that when he gets dressed in the morning, he ties his shoes starting with the right shoe first 54% of the time. Any deviation above 52% is a clear sign he is totally unbalanced.

[LWolf]

81. If there isn't a new revelation,

the old, de-bunked news will be recycled, multiple times.

Because it's the only way to try to shoot him down when your candidate doesn't own the issues.

[Rosa Luxemburg]

88. the old kitchen sink syndrome

[JoePhilly]

90. Some one will say they aren't sure he can beat all

... of the potential GOP candidates.

And DU will explode over this slanderous outrage.

[Sancho]

91. Just for fun!!

Last edited Wed Jul 15, 2015, 12:02 PM - Edit history (1)

Conspiracy Theory: Larry David and Bernie Sanders Are Long-Lost Brothers

https://medium.com/%40JonathonNorcross/conspiracy-theory-larry-david-and-bernie-sanders-are-long-lost-brothers-21b3300d9e3

Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders is the long-lost brother of Larry David, of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm fame. They were mysteriously separated at birth and are probably unaware of their true relationship. Can I prove it? Hell no. But I can list many coincidences that make my theory seem plausible. Let’s begin by examining what we know (or think we know) about their backgrounds.

Larry David was born on July 2, 1947 in Brooklyn, New York. Bernie Sanders was born September 8, 1941, in Brooklyn, New York.

Larry David is Jewish. Bernie Sanders is Jewish.

Larry David grew up at 3655 Shore Parkway in Brooklyn. Bernie Sanders resided at East 26th and Kings Highway in Brooklyn. Their childhood homes were a mere 2 miles apart.

[jeff47]

92. DU Tip: Replace the @ with %40 in your link to make it clickable. (nt)

[Damansarajaya]

93. In the 60's when Hillary was a "Goldwater Girl," Bernie

was working with SNCC and desegregating dorms at his college, the U of Chicago.

[NCTraveler]

94. Prediction: You and Sanders are going to get a Hillary Knuckle Sandwich.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10026634558

This is such amazingly foolish discourse. Someone on the internet said "?" and I'm upset.

It took me a long time but I finally figured out the shtick. It's Bizarro Colbert.

[randome]

96. More like Wannabe-Colbert. But not even close. And yes, it's tedious.

[hr][font color="blue"][center]Stop looking for heroes. BE one.[/center][/font][hr]

[MannyGoldstein]

98. Kinda like if Colbert sucked.

Amirite?

[raouldukelives]

95. He hates people!*

*As defined by Citizens United.

[LWolf]

99. Clearly.

We can't have that.

[MisterP]

97. MRA? I thought they were calling him a "brocialist"

i.e., someone whose thought on race and gender extends beyond a handful of extremely cushy white sophomores going to school in Whiteville's suburbs who say you can't ever disagree with what they just reblogged

[Hatchling]

100. Until I know his thoughts on LOL Cats.

I'll never be sure of him. Does he even like kittehs?

[polichick]

101. He's a communist, like everyone else in The Peoples' Republic of Vermont.

[arcane1]

102. Well, excluding Super-PAC money, he has out-raised each of the repub candidates

But that's only terrible for the republicans

[ProfessorPlum]

104. I've heard he has dabbled in both numismatism and philately

and that some of his friends are thespians!

[olddots]

106. He never owned or wore a leisure suit

or any polyester Disco clothes ( of the pant suit variety )

[corkhead]

111. Don't get me wrong. I love Bernie, BUT...

I am concerned about how his use of leaded gasoline back in the 60s could impact his campaign. I also heard that he puts his toilet paper roll in the holder so it unravels from the back.

[NCTraveler]

112. Bizzaro Colbert Issue Of The Day

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251447765

[NCTraveler]

113. Find him some assistance...he is being bludgeoned by Hill supporters!!!!!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251447166

[Scootaloo]

114. A photo of him will surface where he pets a pit bull while wearing crocs.

[artislife]

118. Not crocs------arrrg nt