Bar Officially Cannot Be Lowered ---Borowitz is making observations

[Mira]

MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—A group of scholars who have been monitoring the descent of the bar over the past few decades have concluded that the bar can no longer be lowered, the scholars announced on Friday.

The academics, led by Professor Davis Logsdon, of the University of Minnesota, published their conclusion after their research definitively found that the bar had finally dropped to its lowest possible position.“For those who thought the bar still had room to be lowered, our findings resoundingly contradict that assumption,” Logsdon said. “The bar is now essentially flush with the ground.”

Logsdon acknowledged that he and his fellow scholars have come under fire in the past for claiming that the bar could not be further lowered, specifically when they issued a paper to that effect after the selection of the Republican Vice-Presidential nominee in 2008.

“We got that one wrong,” he said. “Clearly, the bar still had a way to go.”

Now that the issue of whether the bar can be further lowered has been settled, Logsdon and his colleagues plan to examine the question of whether there is anything left to scrape at the bottom of the barrel. “Our findings are preliminary, but it appears that the answer is no,” he said.



www.borowitzreport.com

(When Neanderthals walk their hands dig trenches at their sides. Maybe the bar could be placed in one of those. Just wondering)

[underpants]

1. Fox&Friends "Well not all of academia believes that the bar is as low as it can go"

Blonde: "Yep that's what a lot of people are saying"

Doocybag: "there just isn't a consensus on so called 'grounded baring'. We're joined by Fox News contributors Dr. Ablow and Stuart Varney to give us some examples...."

[sabrina 1]

3. Lol!

Maybe we have to start digging below the ground now since the bar is 'flush to the ground'?

'The bar has now descended to one foot below ground level'!

That leaves room for the inevitability of the Repubs to keep on digging as we know they will.

[Gothmog]

2. I love good satire

[ThoughtCriminal]

4. After you scrape the bottom of the barrel

you can still look under it.