When God called me to talk politics and Scott Walker .....by S.L. Wisenberg
The phone rang early this morning. The clock radio said it was 3:30, my husband mumbled that it hadda be a crank and the phone screen showed “Unknown.” I answered it anyway.
It was God.
I was peeved: “Why are you calling at the crack of dawn?”
“Oh, you know I don’t keep track of hours and minutes,” she said. “For me, everything takes place at the same time, past and present and future. I separated darkness and light, and called it a day.”
“But …”
“I did have a pocket watch for a while, but it keep slipping through,” she said. “No pockets. Anyway, I’m calling to tell you to run for president.”
“You’re kidding,” I said. “You mean just like Scott Walker?”
“Oh, that governor of Iowa?” said God.
“Wisconsin.”
“I get all those cheese and corn states mixed up,” she said. “Maybe like him. He’s a radical Republican, isn’t he?”
“I guess you could say so,” I replied.
“I love those radical Republicans,” God said. “Take that Thaddeus Stevens — such a strong voice against slavery. And the tall, dark-haired guy, the one who splits hairs.”
“You mean rails?”
“Yeah, I guess,” said God. “Must have been a typo.”
I told God that the United States had abolished slavery 150 years ago. She was confused. God said she’d assumed that slavery was still allowed below the Mason-Dixie Line because on her last visit there, she’d seen a lot of Confederate flags. I didn’t try to explain, but I said: “And it’s Dixon.”
full article: http://www.winonadailynews.com/news/opinion/columnists/other/s-l-wisenberg-when-god-called-me-to-talk-politics/article_a7ae3cbf-a60a-5d7b-add8-5501fad41dbe.html
