THE sure-fire way to predict who will win the Presidency

[BainsBane]

Last edited Tue Aug 4, 2015, 02:04 PM - Edit history (1)

Forget the polls, statisticians, and odds makers. There is one incontrovertible fact in modern American politics. The candidate with the best hair always win the presidency. Here is the proof:

2008



2000



Here you may be thinking, Gore has more hair than Bush. Alas, the bad dye job did him in. Strategery. Keep it natural.

1992





And who could forget the originator and master of the modern political do, Ronald Reagan.

?


So you ask, what does that mean for our current crop of Democratic candidates. Who will come out on top?


Hillary Clinton, blond and expertly coiffed.



Martin O'Malley, trim and all-American

?

Or Bernie Sanders, the fringe* candidate?


*Brilliant graphic by the late and much beloved Jackpine Radical.



But wait. You think you've got a handle on the current crop of contenders? You do not. The election season is still young, and the Beltway is a buzz with news of impending entrance into the race by a candidate whose hair puts all pretenders to shame. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our next president of the United States:

[Aerows]

1. Goodness!

That is the most gorgeous horse I have ever seen! Stunningly beautiful!

[BainsBane]

5. He really is

I've never seen a mane like that on a horse. He's spectacular.

[jberryhill]

2. I'm waiting for the astrological predictions

[BainsBane]

4. Are you saying you doubt my theory?

Theory, no. It rises to the level of a law. The proof is absolute.

[artislife]

8. Edwards had the best hair

Unfortunately, he let it go to his head.

[BainsBane]

9. Actually

You're thinking of his other head.

[artislife]

10. *snerk...no I wasn't...heh...

[tularetom]

3. Every time I see that picture of Reagan I'm struck by his resemblance to the beloved character

Gumby

[calimary]

6. GOOD one.

Except having to listen to him made ME turn green.

[ismnotwasm]

7. Heh!

[freshwest]

11. OH! MYY! GOD! I am in LOVE with that horse! Vote for the dark horse in 2016!

[freshwest]

12. Thought it was this guy, at first:

Looks like the love of my life (but my guy was taller) for over a decade. Don't forget, the President of the Galaxy had an advantage. Because two heads are better than one. None of the candidates can match that hair except Frederik!

[BainsBane]

13. I have no idea who that is

[freshwest]

14. One of the stars of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) by Douglas Adams:

Mere seconds before the Earth is to be demolished by an alien construction crew, journeyman Arthur Dent is swept off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher penning a new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy..."

Everyone has bad mornings. You wake up late, you stub your toe, you burn the toast... but for a man named Arthur Dent, this goes far beyond a bad day. When he learns that a friend of his is actually an alien with advanced knowledge of Earth's impending destruction, he is transported off the Earth seconds before it is exploded to make way for a new hyperspace motorway. And as if that's not enough, throw in being wanted by the police, Earth II, an insane electronic encyclopedia, no tea whatsoever, a chronically depressed robot and the search for the meaning of life, and you've got the greatest adventure off Earth.

Quotes from THHGTTG:

The Book: In the beginning the universe was created. This made a lot of people angry and has widely been considered as a bad move...

The Book: It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, Man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the *third* most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were of course dolphins who, curiously enough, had long known of the impending destruction of the planet earth. They had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger, but most of their communications...

The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a sperm whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell:

The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I? Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello, Ground!

(Cuts to a distant view as the whale hits the ground and spews up a large mushroom cloud of snow)

The Book: Curiously, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias, as it fell, was, "Oh no, not again!" Many people have speculated that if we knew exactly *why* the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0371724/

It streams on that link, supposedly. The President is actor Sam Rockwell.

The meaning to the answer of life is in the movie. And not what was expected...

TMI...

[BainsBane]

15. I never read that book or saw the show

Somehow I just missed it.

[freshwest]

16. It evolved from a BBC series with different actors on PBS. n/t

[FSogol]

17. I highly recommend it in any of its forms. n/t