I could never vote for ANY candidate whose supporters drive Volvos.

[sibelian]

How could anyone who drives a Volvo relate to the disenfranchised?

Now, maybe if some of these supporters got some teeth knocked out in a fist fight.... well, THEN I guess I could vote for their candidate. Or if they were ugly. Or had no family left. Possibly if they had part of their lower colon collapse and have to have it removed, maybe then I could believe that they were capable of empathy.

Potentially a life changing experience like having an HIV positive relative would make a difference to me, or perhaps being born blind. I guess if they'd had to have one of their testicles removed through testicular cancer or were homeless through being made redundant or had part of their face burned off in a house fire, they might understand.

It's not like I'm setting the bar particularly high, here. How about being arrested after being falsely accused for something you didn't do? Or being thrown out of your house because your parents don't like your boyfriend? Or overcoming heroin addiction? Or being terminally ill?

What about something as simple as having fucking kids? Ya know? And wanting the world they're going to grow up in to get better rather than get worse(like it seems to all the goddamn time)?

Anything. But what do we get?

VOLVOS.

I have to say it's very disappointing.

Volvos, of all things, it's so... I don't know. Safe. Boring. LIBERAL. It's so embarassing. I can imagine Republicans laughing at them. Volvos! At least the Replublicans have the guts to express their inner ugliness by driving SUVs. These guys hide it all behind a stupid veneer of Volvo-y, European pseudoliberal vehicular.... BLAH.

I just don't understand how these people can present themselves to me driving their stupid Volvos and expect me to take them seriously.

How could they ever expect to understand ME?

I drive a BMW.

[1StrongBlackMan]

1. Posted to for later. n/t

[Rozlee]

2. I drive a Volvo.

[sibelian]

9. I simply cannot summon up sufficient venom. The English language fails me.

Last edited Tue Aug 18, 2015, 01:15 PM - Edit history (1)

Would that thee and I were in the same room so that I could at least attempt to throw a withering stare your way, assuming you're worth even that.

A VOLVO... ugh, how could you, Rozlee, how could you?

[Rozlee]

23. *

[sibelian]

39. Oh, damn.

(((Rozlee)))

[Rozlee]

130. *

[brush]

33. Are you serious with this? A Volvo is just a fu_king car.

I had a Volvo for a while. Needed a reliable car to drive across the country — got a good deal on a pre-owned one.

It gets you the fu_k around. It's just another car. You're putting too much baggage on people who drive them.

Most just want a reliable car.

And you admittedly drive a BMW — German iron, for God's sake. What does that say about you?

Pls tell me your OP was written with tongue firmly planted in your Bimmer-loving cheek.

[sibelian]

35. Well I suppose what I should have said originally was:

"It benefits certain political processes and those who benefit from those processes to maintain demographics in identity bubbles pitted against each other so that relationships between them can be controlled, as it is almost impossible to protect said processes against a unified populace or even a conglomerate of well-coordinated opposing interests", but that sounded a bit dry.

[JackInGreen]

45. Condensed that reads:

"Lighten Up Buttercup I was making a metaphorical point.", yes/no?

[sibelian]

51. In a slightly sharpish way, yes.

I don't see how anyone on the left benefits from stupid stereotypes of ANY other part of the left.

[brush]

52. Oka-a-a-a-a-a-y — starting to get a handle on you pov.

[sibelian]

53. Well, that's a good thing.

Next time I shall include more subtextual protruberances, the better for grasping said handles.

[sibelian]

135. Just for interest, here's what happens when I DON'T put on a sarcastic tone:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251529739#post4

I would assume you'd agree with the content of that post, look at the number of responses.

I really shouldn't have to have said any of the things that are in that post. It's content supports ideas that are blatantly apparent. And yet, the behaviour it characterises is all over the place on this board.

So yeah, plain speaking. I'd LOVE that. Doesn't work, does it?

[Bubzer]

69. I enjoyed the origional post.

Identity politics has always been extremely divisive. Though whenever I point this out, the typical response is: But my Volvo!...er Issue! Some people are so overly focused on their BMW...er issue (damn car analogies), that any thought to raising the bar for all becomes eclipsed.

In some cases it gets so bad, it parallel's the republican egocentrism.

[awoke_in_2003]

120. You needed a reliable car and bought a Volvo? nt

[brush]

133. It was for me.

Volvos have been known to clock over a million miles.

[roguevalley]

73. in my dreams I drive a Ferrari :D

[PADemD]

88. In my dreams, I drive a Tesla Model S.

[sibelian]

110. Heh! In my dreams I can still afford a car!

[John Poet]

108. I want to get on the record, I DON'T DRIVE my Volvo.

I keep it in the garage.
Every once in a while, I go sit in it and listen to the radio.

BUT--- I just couldn't bear the shame of being seen in it in public.

[artislife]

109. I like you......A LOT!! nt

[sibelian]

122. ....

[merrily]

10. .....

[Rozlee]

26. *

[PowerToThePeople]

105. Me too. :-)

It is over 20 years old and mechanically sound enough to probably go another 20. One of, if not the best car ever made.

[Rozlee]

131. Some lady in a Cadillac Escalade rear-ended me in it.

Didn't leave a scratch or break a single egg in the carton I'd just bought at the grocer that was sitting in the trunk. Her front end, though, was caved in. They are excellent vehicles.

[Bluenorthwest]

3. What I liked about the Volvo comments is that they are so very dated and dusty. The current joke is

'they drive a Subaru' not a Volvo. The right wing, when attempting humor, is reliably several years out of date, behind the curve and thus off the mark.

[cloudbase]

6. I've got one of each.

Along with three Moto Guzzis.

Where does that place me?

[Bluenorthwest]

20. You might note that my comment is about the lack of currency in right wing humor.

My comment has nothing at all to do with people who own brands of vehicles, none of which matter much to me.
Moto Guzzi, too obscure to make for good jokes to a mass audience. As punchlines go ineffective due to lack of name recognition. So for my purposes, useless.

[MynameisBlarney]

29. I'd say that places you

Very near, or in, Hipstertopia.

[alfredo]

79. Moto Guzzi means you have given up on life.

[Warren Stupidity]

136. prius

the auto that most resembles the hated liberal is the prius. Subaru was so 2008.

[Fuddnik]

4. A Beemer? That's just what a closet Hitler supporter would drive!

I'm a total contradiction. Have a Chevy Volt and a Harley. Do I join Greenpeace or Hells Angels?

[cherokeeprogressive]

14. Green Angels.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

34. Great song.

A real tearjerker.

Wait: green angels?

[barbtries]

5. i am sure there must be a reason you wrote this.

some context would be helpful. thanks.

drives a subaru and a mazda and sadly killed my Volvo twice.

[merrily]

8. Sorry. I can't vote for a murderer of Volvos. I'm non-violent.

[barbtries]

28. it was by accident!

that old Mormor kept going after the first one. 300,000 miles on her...I deserve your scorn.

[merrily]

31. Of course you do. I don't dispense scorn willy nilly. I leave that to the rightist shills.

[Live and Learn]

100. Context:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251524459

[merrily]

7. Which candidate do you plan to vote for?

I'm pretty sure you'll find Volvo drivers among each of the candidates running for President, but especially the wealthier candidates.

[sibelian]

12. Oh, I'll be voting for Nicola Sturgeon...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicola_Sturgeon

?w=620&q=85&auto=format&sharp=10&s=e5306745b13af9d142fd61d8bcd75f2b

[merrily]

19. I've heard some of her supporters might drive Volvos.

[sibelian]

22. That's different.

That's SCOTTISH Volvo driving.

Scottish people are ALLOWED to be liberal.

[merrily]

27. Hmm. I don't think ALL Volvo drivers are liberal

Then again, I'm not much on broad brush smears.

[sibelian]

46. I'm not particularly big on broad brush smears either. Aaaaaaand I'm interested in politics.

Sucky, ain't it?

[cherokeeprogressive]

11. Sounds like a Saab story to me. n/t

[sibelian]

18. Pf! Gimme a brake.

[merrily]

30. Stay in your lane.

[Bubzer]

77. This is going down-hill fast.

[merrily]

78. That's what happens when the rubber hits the road.

(And, BTW, throwing rubbers on the road is tacky.)

[HFRN]

83. i think this needs to come to a screeching halt

[Bubzer]

85. Agreed. This Clutch of jokes is driving conversation into the ground

[sibelian]

92. Oh, I think it's a gas!

[Bubzer]

96. I suppose it might be good Training for a commedian.

[mwooldri]

13. Well there goes the high school geography teachers' vote. nt

[kacekwl]

15. I drive a Volvo but of course I am a flaming liberal. I welcome their hatred.

[sibelian]

70. Well, you've more patience than me, for sure.

I'm getting exrtemely bored of their hatred.

[Ilsa]

16. I drive a chevy, have

2 kids, and I've been listening to Bernie for years. Love the man. Would make a great president.

[dorkzilla]

17. i drive a 12 year old Lexus

does that still make me an out of touch liberal? is there a cut off, like after 10 years am i legit?

[merrily]

25. Lexus?

[dorkzilla]

137. LOL!!!!! but but its got 175k miles on it!

I also attend chamber music concerts. I am so awful

[merrily]

139. Still different from getting 175,000 miles on a Volkwagon Beetle.

I'm a tough audience.

[dorkzilla]

140. Merrily, I can’t win but I can tell you....

There is NO WAY IN HELL you’d get 175k on a modern Beetle.

[merrily]

141. Modern? Who said anything about modern?

I told you I'm a tough audience!

[dorkzilla]

144. Okay I’m just throwing in the towel now.

I give up.

[merrily]

145. I hope you at least got it at Goodwill!

[dorkzilla]

146. Hey now - I get a lot of good stuff at goodwill

But I prefer our hospital thrift shop and the charity shop that funds the animal shelter and the drug and alcohol rehab at the local Franciscan monastery. When I am through with said items, i give them back to whence they came, or Big Brothers/Big Sisters.

So I am out of touch liberal that won’t buy a new car and buys stuff at thrift stores because I don’t want to add more shit to the landfill.

Yep, typical Bernie supporter!

[merrily]

147. Okay, I'll let it go this time. But no more elite vehicles for you!

[dorkzilla]

148. I am sufficiently chastised and rebuked

Does this also mean I can’t accept a kind invitation to hitch a ride on a private jet? I mean they were going that way anyway!!!!

[kacekwl]

103. Lexus, that's a Toyota right.

Let's not forget Pearl Harbor.

[dorkzilla]

138. Most of my car was built in Canada :)

Does that make it slightly more acceptable? Although, my GPS also speaks French, so I guess I’m one of those Frog-loving, out of touch liberals!

[leftofcool]

21. drivel

[sibelian]

24. Isn't it just...?

And yet....

[navarth]

40. I believe that was the point you were making...?

I guess not everybody understood the intent.

[sibelian]

42. ...

[AllyCat]

58. Okay, has nearly everyone spectacularly missed the point?

Or am I missing the sarcasm in their replies?

[sibelian]

60. Oh, be fair!

Like, three people is not EVERYONE.

[AllyCat]

61. Ok, ok, but I like hyperbole

[LondonReign2]

107. Awww, poor darling

[MynameisBlarney]

32. I drive a 2003 Chevy trailblazer..

I'm not sure I want to know what that says about me, lol..

[Bobbie Jo]

36. "I drive a BMW"

Of course you do.

Two out of three, still pretty damn accurate.

[artislife]

111. Whoosh!!!

[Bobbie Jo]

114. Whooooosh

back at ya.

White - check
Financially comfortable -check

He/She probably does drive a BMW.

Not a fan of the lame "satire." So sue me...

Take it elsewhere.

[Hydra]

37. I concur!

They might have boxes in their garage!

[sibelian]

89. Every fragile-egoed narcissist must have boxes in their garage.

Creepy, secret boxes in which we can only suppose lurk evidence of the murkiest and most unwholesome of personality flaws.

[heaven05]

38. silly OP

you owe all volvo owners here an apology........

[sibelian]

41. THEY HAVE NO-ONE TO BLAME BUT THEMSELVES.

AND THIS IS A BLAME THING.

[Lochloosa]

43. '92 Ford F150 here...but my best friend and his wife both have Volvos

Time to get new friends.

[sibelian]

50. OhmyGOD.

Say... do they... drink.... artisan beer?

Don't even answer, it's too horrible to contemplate.

[Lochloosa]

63. It's worse than that...he home brews!

[sibelian]

94. 20 straight hours of "the Brady Bunch" for YOU, buddy.

Under armed guard.

Their influence MUST BE RESISTED.

[spinbaby]

44. I drove a Volvo 20 years ago

Now I drive a Prius as every good liberal should.

[TBF]

47. At least one person in the thread understands

satire ...

[sibelian]

48. ALERT! ALERT! PRIUS OWNER!

Report your level of adherence to all other publically sanctioned stereotypes of liberal voters that I may judge you IMMEDIATELY or incur my WRATH.

[Catherina]

113. Hah! +1

[tclambert]

49. Are you Jeremy Clarkson in disguise?

Or perhaps Manny Goldstein in disguise.

I'm tempted to post "Poe's Law!" over and over for every poster who reacts a certain way. But then I might get the response, "What do ravens have to do with Volvos?"

[sibelian]

56. God, you know you've just made me think something...

What if Jeremy was actually the world's biggest moonbat and the whole Jermary Clarkson thing was a kind of RL Onionesque troll-being to flush out all the crap?

brrrr

I drink too much coffee.

As for the Others, they are typically silent on my threads. These days, one or two might post a smiley or say "yawn," or something. Most of them are on my ignore list, anyway, and most of them know.

[Capt. Obvious]

54. Crocs are the deal breaker

[sibelian]

59. I'm wearing Crocs right now.

But at least I'm not wearing them with socks. Or is that worse?

[Capt. Obvious]

81. WELCOME TO IGNORE!!!

[AllyCat]

62. ^^^this^^^

[underpants]

91. I have a pair of orange #20 NASCAR Crocs

Is that classy or what?

[sibelian]

95. ... you... it.... whu...

you can have NASCAR and Crocs in the SAME ITEM? Unpossible!

[underpants]

104. Past tense

I bought them for the gym pool but they had been in the trunk of my car for a while and apparently got mis-shapened. Threw them away at Myrtle Beach.


I used to drive a Volvo about 4 years ago. And yes I went the gym pool with my orange NASCAR crocs in the Volvo.

Checkmate!

[sibelian]

112. Yeah, well my Aunt Judy saw Janis Joplin perform live!

Also, I appreciate nuance in "The West Wing" so fuggedit, buddy!

Goddam!

(throws chessboard across the room)

[awoke_in_2003]

121. I bet

you have a velvet oil painting of Elvis, too

[Kilgore]

55. 65 Plymouth Valiant

Manual transmission, slant six, no A/C, AM radio.

What's that say about me?

[d_legendary1]

82. An elitist who can afford classic cars?

[leveymg]

106. Squint really hard, and it's a 6-cylinder BMW 2002

[Kilgore]

132. You made my day!!

[Quackers]

57. WELL YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BMW AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR

OOOHHH, a squirrel!!!

[sibelian]

64. How will I FIT it up

the squirrel?

Squirrels are small.

[Quackers]

67. I guess it depends on how big its Volvo is...

[sibelian]

71. .....!

YEAH, you better hide.

PAGING SKITTLES....

[janlyn]

65. Well crap,

I drive a 94 toyota camry with peeling paint and a gazillion dings and dents. I guess I have to stop being liberal, I don't fit the demographic.

Oh wait, I have a free tibet window sticker!!! Can I stay in the liberal camp??

[Lochloosa]

66. Free Tibet is so 90's...

Well it does fit your car.

Time to upgrade.

[janlyn]

72. Oh no,

That's way too fast!! I'm practically a senior!

[sibelian]

68. A Free Tibet sticker ertainly scores pretty highly.

Although I should say, not to brag or anything, but I have a pentagram sticker above my front door and do pagan stuff, so you know. Honestly, it's not a competition.

[janlyn]

75. Well my daughter in law is pagan.

And I like her. And I buy her pagan related gifts, surely that has to help with my score!!

[planetc]

74. Delicious post. Can VW drivers play?

I adored your insightful, very clear post on the linguistic laziness of the right wing. It is ...*funny*. And how desperately we need some fun. Of course, anyone who is actually driving a Volvo has a good sense of value, because they're willing to drive a square box around the streets just to enjoy the reliability and the way they're still salable with 250K miles on them. (I actually know very little about the resale market in cars because my first VW lasted 25 years. Then it was killed by salt. In ancient warfare, the victorious army used to salt the fields of the vanquished; these days, they salt the roads, which kills cars, but not as fast as ancient salt killed crops.)

Anyway, as near as I can tell, Volvo-driving should be a compliment.

[sibelian]

80. Yes, Volvos are fine things...

Although my favourite beast was a 9 year old Ford Escort van that I could sleep in. Cost me £300 and lasted 4 years. It was incredibly easy to repair, but at the last MOT the guy said "that's more welding than bodywork, don't be in that car in a crash" so I let it go for £125.

He was called Abe. He had this habit of coughing and grumbling like an old relative when you kicked him up in the morning...

[planetc]

101. I had an aging mechanic who tried to warn me that the first VW was in decline, but

by that time, it had been so long since I had paid anything for it that the temptation to keep on driving was overwhelming.

[alfredo]

87. Salt killed my VW, the suspension was shot, and the heating conduit rusted out.

I fixed it with old drier conduit and fiberglas. It smelled like a cross between fabric softener and epoxy, but we were warm. If we had more than a few inches of snow, the suspensionless bug would bottom out on the snow.

My Saab V4 had its brake line repaired with bubblegum and duct tape. It worked long enough to get it to the garage. It was great in the snow. LSD, front wheel drive, and freewheeling was a great combination while driving in the Floyd Knobs of indiana.

Volvos were good, but expensive to repair, something important to the guy that never buys new.

Now it is boring and reliable Hyundai Elantras.

[planetc]

102. Well, you probably drove it until it was 300 years old in car lives?

I got another VW when the old one died, and it is so automated that it took me six months to figure out how to use all the controls. The Manual is 343 pp. long, of course. The first VW was a completely mechanical '86, and I still miss it. But if I want to sell the new one, it should be rather attractive. Among other things, the '86 hardly ever needed a repair!

Do you actually want a Ferrari?

[alfredo]

118. Ferarri, no. I really don't want to be on first name basis with my mechanic.

I used to buy $50 specials and drive them until they die. My last car was a 97 Elantra i bought for $1,000 in 2004. I drove it for 10 years and traded it in for $400. I now have a very good used Elantra we bought with a small inheritance. I'm seventy years old. Chances are good that this will be my last car.

[matt819]

76. Excellent post

Volvos and BMWs aside, if anyone writing about the Volvo-driving liberals knew anything about life in New England, they'd know that the more accurate description is Subaru-driving liberals. I think the forest green Subaru should be on the New Hampshire state flag.

[haikugal]

84. .

Thanks for the chuckle!

[Devil Child]

86. 1999 Jeep Cherokee

Would anyone vote for me?

[alfredo]

90. I seriously doubt it.

[Devil Child]

93. Damn

There goes my brief flirtation with politics.

[alfredo]

117. Auto repair shops might vote for you.

[libodem]

97. Only if they wear Birkenstocks

And sip Starbucks. Then drive off in a Volvo would I give a ....hoot.

[sibelian]

99. Oh, a CAR PUN. That's, like, so original, bro.

Here was the thread finally getting steered away from that and you had to do a U-turn.

[ybbor]

98. I would never drive a Volvo

Well I would actually, but I want a Prius. The true car of the liberal elites.

That being said, I would never vote for me!

[sibelian]

126. I want teleporter units like in Star Trek. WHEN, AMERICA?

Actually I'd settle for magnetic monorails.

[Warren DeMontague]

115. The preferred candidate of Goldman-Sachs just wants to root out pesky liberal elitism

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/06/hillary-clintons-goldman-sachs-problem

I mean, August is always comedy month in politics, but that's some funny shit right there.

[Dragonfli]

134. .

[Warren DeMontague]

116. I've driven a volvo. In my experience they are sluggish, uninspiring, and overrated.

And their much-vaunted "unbeatable dependability" has more than a dollop of hype in it.

Reminds me of some peoples' political campaigns.

[sibelian]

150. Hm

So what's Donald? A big gas-guzzling SUV? A monster truck?

[Warren DeMontague]

151. he's that train wreck you simply can't avoid looking at.

[awoke_in_2003]

119. I wouldn't vote for a candidate

whose supporters lost a testicle while fighting a grizzly bear. Just saying...

[aikoaiko]

123. Right? I drive a Volvo XC70. Every time I reject a candidate because of my Volvo

...and adopt a new one I have to reject them, too, because I'm still driving my Volvo.

I guess if I was a real Democrat I would sell my car.

[sibelian]

124. Hmmm...

brain now trundling through a messy metaphor about changing cars being like changing presidents...

[aikoaiko]

125. Indeed. But at least my car has airbags for me if it were involved in a crash.

[sibelian]

127. Oooof! Resisting temptation, here!

[Peregrine Took]

128. We Saab drivers were lambasted when we went to Iowa and worked for Howard Dean.

"Saab drivin' latte drinkers!!"

Yep, that was us alright.

I remember trudging through a foot of snow up to those far apart houses in Davenport, etc. to electioneer in the freezing cold weather.

We were 100% committed to him, Saab. latte and all.

[greendog]

129. This might help...

[ecstatic]

142. Volvos are actually attractive now

I'm not sure I'd ever buy one, but the appearance of their SUVs etc. has dramatically improved.

[sibelian]

143. Slick...

Although I'd think twice about buying an SUV...

[hifiguy]

149. I see what you did there.

Well played.