Both DOMA and DADT were beneficial in their time.
On DADT, I joined the US Navy in May of 1989. I most painfully recall the interrogation at New Orleans MEPS station.. Are you a homosexual, have you ever engaged in homosexual acts.. and dozens of variations of those questions. I recall checking into Boot camp in Orlando Florida, and being interrogated about it again. Then I recall what was called "the day of truth" in boot camp.. being interrogated and threatened with legal consequences if I was gay, had ever been gay, had ever had gay sex and didn't come clean right then and right there.. and at any time, had I even hesitated in my answers I would have been booted out. DADT fixed that. I'm also glad that DADT is gone now, and that finally those entering the armed forces today will never have to go through that horrendous, embarrassing line of questioning. But in that day.. it was awful. DADT did MUCH to advance our rights. Was it perfect? no. Was it wholly the right thing to do? No. But in the climate of the time, it was a HUGE advancement for us.
DOMA.. I remember the 1970's, when we were finally getting some great progress for the first time in getting acceptance. I recall stonewall. Then, I remember the 1980's. I remember Mr. Larry Hernandez, the first of several people that I personally knew who died from the new gay cancer. I recall just how fast we went from progressing in our acceptance, in our visibility, to suddenly being this hated pariah once again. By the 90's I all too well remember just how much the sentiment against us had grown. I remember the backlash of the Hawaiian attempt to through the courts in Baer v Lewin in 1993. There was most definitely a huge push by the right, and with no small amount of support, to get a constitutional amendment in place declaring that marriage was between 1 man and 1 woman. It wasn't a sure thing for their side (or they would have still gone ahead with it), but it was a VERY possible and VERY real threat of a constitutional amendment, and it did have a LOT of popular support. The compromising and bipartisan passing of DOMA hugely diffused that entire movement making it, if not completely gone, very irrelevant.
So yes, I was very happy for DOMA, and yes, I am quite glad that kind of compromise did much to protect us from something that would have been MUCH worse (a possible constitutional amendment) happening, which would have made all of the advances that our wonderful current president and SCOTUS made possible.. the elimination of DADT and full equality for our people in the armed forces, AND the elimination of DOMA making marriage possible for us.
So, I'm sorry, you are very incorrect, there was a looming threat of something much worse.. a constitutional amendment would NOT have been able to be overturned by the SCOTUS, and it would still be in effect today, and if it had passed and been ratified, today there would be NO marriage for us, and my own marriage would be completely unaccepted by my own country.
