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grantcart

(53,061 posts)
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 03:56 PM Aug 2012

Ryan is going to destroy Vice President Biden in the VP Debates

Last edited Thu Oct 11, 2012, 10:53 PM - Edit history (2)

< Edit On Aug 22 the great events were forseeen in a great vision. Again DU is ahead of the rest.

Not for the satirically impaired>

Paul Ryan is the wonkiest wonkmeisterly Congressman to have ever gone to Congress. He has the entire US budget memorized for the last 10 years. He communicates extremely well and absolutely mesmerizes college faculty's and administrations. Nobel scientists ask him to check their equations before they write their thesis and then ask him to edit the thesis for clarity.

Paul Ryan has never lost a debate.

When he enters the Congressional Republican Caucus all of the members quickly stand and move their chairs aside with a Moses like parting of the room so that he can go to the front of the room unimpeded. They quickly take out pen and paper so that they can write down every word in an operational redundancy should their personal recording devices fail.

Paul Ryan has never lost a debate

He has won every debate he has ever entered. He is bold, brave and has a broad vision. He never prevaricates, dithers or contradicts himself. He is consistent, clear and concise. He is equally familiar with St. Paul, Thomas Aquinas and that atheist broad.

Vice President Joe Biden is just a good old hard working fun guy.

It will be a complete and total victory by Ryan. He is the sacred chalice of the future conservative movement. He is the next Ronald Reagan. Republicans will vote for Romney because they know that Ryan will persuade Romney to take all the right right right right choices.

Paul Ryan has never lost a debate.

In future years Italian composers will write Operas about Ryan's great victory. Anthems will be written and City block murals etched capturing all of the details. A comic book series and an IKEA foot stool will be created to mark it. Paul and Ryan will become the number 1 and 2 names for baby boys starting in 2013.

There are simply not enough adjectives that I could use to push up the bar to the height that Paul Ryan should have to jump over to win this debate.

92 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Ryan is going to destroy Vice President Biden in the VP Debates (Original Post) grantcart Aug 2012 OP
Joe will get him riverbendviewgal Aug 2012 #1
I get it, this is your attempt at humor. Right? notadmblnd Aug 2012 #2
I think grantcart is building expectations... KansDem Aug 2012 #5
Nah-you're right. n/t jenmito Aug 2012 #19
The art of debate is presentation. cyclezealot Aug 2012 #63
Please use the sarcasm smilie next time or else... rfranklin Aug 2012 #3
Yes, please do. Trolls are EVERYWHERE!nt FLyellowdog Aug 2012 #9
i will not use it under penalty of death grantcart Aug 2012 #17
Depends on what cheek you are talking about davidpdx Aug 2012 #22
Offer that cheek to Ryan LiberalFighter Aug 2012 #29
Thank you! Poiuyt Aug 2012 #90
i agree. i hated the original post trueblue2007 Aug 2012 #88
That's it, lower the expectations jumptheshadow Aug 2012 #4
Diminished expectations JaneQPublic Aug 2012 #6
I think you mean "facepalm," not "handpalm." I think tblue37 Aug 2012 #53
Yep, you are correct! (nt) JaneQPublic Aug 2012 #62
Your idol worship is pretty sickening. sinkingfeeling Aug 2012 #7
Re-read the OP: hedgehog Aug 2012 #8
The Ikea footstool won me over...n/t monmouth Aug 2012 #13
You completely misread the post, which is intended to tblue37 Aug 2012 #54
And my reply was done sarcastically as well. sinkingfeeling Aug 2012 #69
grantcart's over-the-top tells in his post made his sarcasm obvious. There is nothing in your tblue37 Aug 2012 #76
see I was right after all grantcart Oct 2012 #92
Ha! The MSM is so ridiculous sometimes. Jennicut Aug 2012 #10
Pfftt !! SILVER__FOX52 Aug 2012 #11
if only they would bring back the unrec button so you could grantcart Aug 2012 #14
Irony-impaired much? nt tblue37 Aug 2012 #55
It's hilarious and I love it. Go grantcart..n/t monmouth Aug 2012 #12
"Moses-like parting of the room..." catbyte Aug 2012 #15
Oops, I had to reread that, I thought you said farting in the room! RKP5637 Aug 2012 #51
hey grant, can we spread this around the internets? ; ) blm Aug 2012 #16
absolutely, just don't blame me if you are unfriended on FaceMag grantcart Aug 2012 #20
heheh...I think I can handle that blm Aug 2012 #74
He doesn't just know math, he invented it. BeyondGeography Aug 2012 #18
"Sharks have a week dedicated to him" louis-t Aug 2012 #35
He doesn't always drink beer... Arkana Aug 2012 #68
I got all the way to "Italian composers" before I figured it out. renie408 Aug 2012 #21
Joe is just Biden his time... GallopingGhost Aug 2012 #23
The 2008 vice presidential debate Mr.Bill Aug 2012 #24
Scientifically, approximately 63% of all males become sexually aroused by Ryan's oratory skills CabCurious Aug 2012 #25
Let's hope they resist the urge to drop Surya Gayatri Aug 2012 #37
Joe's in a lotta trouble... immoderate Aug 2012 #26
Don't think so brush Aug 2012 #27
A joke! The OP is a friggin' JOKE! Grantcart should not have to tblue37 Aug 2012 #56
Not a good one brush Aug 2012 #72
What is up with all the low volume posters who joined on 4/1/12? thevoiceofreason Aug 2012 #73
There were SEVERAL comments in the OP that made it obvious that it was tblue37 Aug 2012 #75
Ryan is the second cumming of the Messiah. LiberalFighter Aug 2012 #28
The RW talking points of how Ryan beat Biden in the debate have already been written chelsea0011 Aug 2012 #30
We shall see. I thought Biden handled himself pretty well during the last debate with dipshit. southernyankeebelle Aug 2012 #31
I think some people are unfamiliar with the wit and wisdom of Grantcart A-Long-Little-Doggie Aug 2012 #32
clearly. We LURVES our Grantcart. . . n/t annabanana Aug 2012 #79
Don't forget "Our children will sing patriotic songs about us" louis-t Aug 2012 #33
This message was self-deleted by its author ailsagirl Aug 2012 #34
sigh grantcart Aug 2012 #61
I am astonished at how many didn't get your point. redwitch Aug 2012 #36
In a sentence mentioning Saint Paul, why not remember that it's Saint Thomas Aquinas and dimbear Aug 2012 #38
Ok seriously Jeneral2885 Aug 2012 #39
thank dog I don't have tv, so I won't watch poor Joe get demolished by Paul Ryan magical thyme Aug 2012 #40
Way to sarcasm. ancianita Aug 2012 #41
Joe Biden will not be Obama's V-P candidate. Just watch!! Coyotl Aug 2012 #42
Pray tell. What forum would there be where someone would read the body of the OP grantcart Aug 2012 #66
Certainly. Any thing short of a 50 point win in the post debate polls Dawson Leery Aug 2012 #43
Can I pre-order the Ikea footstool ? eppur_se_muova Aug 2012 #44
Doesn't it depend on Dan Aug 2012 #45
I'm with you. Biden will win but we need to increase expectations for Ryan so high applegrove Aug 2012 #46
Joe Biden has decades of actually working for Americans and getting stuff done..Ryan is just another Sunlei Aug 2012 #47
I loves me that Joe Biden renate Aug 2012 #48
If all else fails in his expected Gran Performance Ryan can throw his underwear into the crowd flamingdem Aug 2012 #49
Ryan just lost two debates... Karmasue Aug 2012 #50
Mr. Medicare Slasher can't defend himself Rosa Luxemburg Aug 2012 #52
Lol jberryhill Aug 2012 #57
All the teabaggers that buy the Ikea Paul Ryan foot stool will fail miserably at assembling it LynneSin Aug 2012 #58
Well...... cliffordu Aug 2012 #59
Plus: a total wackjob (Ryan)! nt morningglory Aug 2012 #60
Paul Ryan has never lost a debate... That's ok! cheezmaka Aug 2012 #64
He may not have lost any debate, however SmittynMo Aug 2012 #65
Me neither cheezmaka Aug 2012 #83
You are funny ! I hope they ask him to explain how it feels to be so wonderful. Laura PourMeADrink Aug 2012 #67
I apologize that I misunderstood your post ailsagirl Aug 2012 #70
Thanks for coming back. grantcart Aug 2012 #81
Thank *you*, grantcart ailsagirl Aug 2012 #82
don't just skim. chew your words 32 times each. magical thyme Aug 2012 #84
I know, I know ailsagirl Aug 2012 #85
Love it, Craig! thevoiceofreason Aug 2012 #71
Will Nobel scientists ask Little Dedo to donate his sperm to conquer the world? freshwest Aug 2012 #77
Does the VP debate really matter? The top of the ticket is what counts. Anyway, I think what will RickFromMN Aug 2012 #78
All good grist for a serious discussion of VP debates, if there ever is a thread about them. grantcart Aug 2012 #86
Cities will be built just to be named for Him; streets in every community will proclaim His name NBachers Aug 2012 #80
So why has Ryan been coming across as an idiot? Zambero Aug 2012 #87
I'm sorry that you have... ThisThreadIsSatire Aug 2012 #89
Kick for the memories. grantcart Oct 2012 #91

KansDem

(28,498 posts)
5. I think grantcart is building expectations...
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 04:05 PM
Aug 2012

...so that when the debate takes place, Ryan will fall...BIG TIME!

But I could be wrong...

cyclezealot

(4,802 posts)
63. The art of debate is presentation.
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 03:24 AM
Aug 2012

For a gullible public , it does not mean those facts won't pass a fact check.. As already has been the case with Ryan's

Road Map
with the fact checkers.. Ryan does not know crap.. He just memorizes unproven lies..
Biden is being coached by the ranking member of of Ryan's Budget committee. Rep. Chris Van Hollen .
Let's just hope Van Hollen is as good as Ryan and Biden can memorize his lines well. Let's all tell Rep. Van Hollen, do your homework when playing con man, Paul Ryan..

JaneQPublic

(7,113 posts)
6. Diminished expectations
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 04:05 PM
Aug 2012

Very wise.

Have the public expecting nothing but pearls of wisdom to fall from Ryan's lips, and then anything short of that will be failure.

Have the public expecting Biden to fall on his face, pass gas, and utter a few-dozen hand-palm gaffes, with anything performance better than that being an unqualified success.

tblue37

(65,831 posts)
53. I think you mean "facepalm," not "handpalm." I think
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 11:49 PM
Aug 2012

"handpalm" would just be clapping.

facepalm:




handpalm:

hedgehog

(36,286 posts)
8. Re-read the OP:
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 04:12 PM
Aug 2012

"Nobel scientists ask him to check their equations before they write their thesis and then ask him to edit the thesis for clarity. "

tblue37

(65,831 posts)
54. You completely misread the post, which is intended to
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 11:52 PM
Aug 2012

falsely (and sarcastically) praise Ryan to the skies in order to raise expectations so high that no matter what he does in the debate, he will not clear that abr.

Of course grantcart does not believe this stuff about Ryan! He is making a joke!

tblue37

(65,831 posts)
76. grantcart's over-the-top tells in his post made his sarcasm obvious. There is nothing in your
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 06:33 PM
Aug 2012

post that suggests sarcasm at all.

Jennicut

(25,415 posts)
10. Ha! The MSM is so ridiculous sometimes.
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 04:23 PM
Aug 2012

I do wonder if they realize that Biden has been dealing with world leaders and tackling tough issues since Paul Ryan was a wee baby. It reminds me of when Lloyd Bentsen put Dan Quayle in his place.

grantcart

(53,061 posts)
14. if only they would bring back the unrec button so you could
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 04:38 PM
Aug 2012

Make your displeasure have a greater impact.

Arkana

(24,347 posts)
68. He doesn't always drink beer...
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 09:29 AM
Aug 2012

but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.



Stay thirsty, my friends.

renie408

(9,854 posts)
21. I got all the way to "Italian composers" before I figured it out.
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 05:01 PM
Aug 2012

And I was getting pretty damned testy, too! I think Ole Joe is pretty quick on his feet, even with one of them in his mouth.

Mr.Bill

(24,454 posts)
24. The 2008 vice presidential debate
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 05:18 PM
Aug 2012

I thought Biden was brilliant the way he let Palin look like a fool without him taking the role of bully, a trap that would have been easy for him to fall into.

He will make Ryan look like a child that has silly ideas, and Ryan will help him do it.

brush

(55,060 posts)
27. Don't think so
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 05:28 PM
Aug 2012

Soon as foreign policy is mentioned Ryan is screwed. He has no experience what so ever. Biden was on foreign policy committees for years, plus he served as VP. Oh, and what about when they talk about abortion, personhood, and medicare? I don't think Ryan wants to go there either.

tblue37

(65,831 posts)
56. A joke! The OP is a friggin' JOKE! Grantcart should not have to
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 11:56 PM
Aug 2012

plaster the sarcasm tag all over obvious jokes to prevent people from completely misreading them.

brush

(55,060 posts)
72. Not a good one
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 10:16 AM
Aug 2012

He should make it clear that the post was supposed to be sarcasm. There are trolls here all the time posting similar cr ap.

thevoiceofreason

(3,440 posts)
73. What is up with all the low volume posters who joined on 4/1/12?
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 10:24 AM
Aug 2012

Yesterday we had several "concerned citizen posts" from folks who also joined on April Fool's Day. Hmmm.

Anyone who has been here a while knows grantcart - one of DU's most senior and respected statesmen. And a huge Obama supporter.

tblue37

(65,831 posts)
75. There were SEVERAL comments in the OP that made it obvious that it was
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 06:31 PM
Aug 2012

deliberately over the top and intended as a joke.

Poe's Law isn't even relevant here, because there were so many obvious tells.

LiberalFighter

(52,544 posts)
28. Ryan is the second cumming of the Messiah.
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 05:30 PM
Aug 2012

The Pope will declare any Catholic voting against Ryan to be a heretic.

 

southernyankeebelle

(11,304 posts)
31. We shall see. I thought Biden handled himself pretty well during the last debate with dipshit.
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 05:34 PM
Aug 2012

I am sure he will do just as well. Remember this will be Ryan's first time on a national stage. I go with Joe. Age and charm for sure plus job experience.

Response to grantcart (Original post)

redwitch

(14,976 posts)
36. I am astonished at how many didn't get your point.
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 05:43 PM
Aug 2012

Paul Ryan made Chuck Norris what he is today. And that most interesting guy in the world guy? Obviously drawn from real life Paul Ryan.

dimbear

(6,271 posts)
38. In a sentence mentioning Saint Paul, why not remember that it's Saint Thomas Aquinas and
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 06:27 PM
Aug 2012

Saint Ayn Rand.

(Second one real, the last one is just in Paul Ryan's mind.)

Jeneral2885

(1,354 posts)
39. Ok seriously
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 06:36 PM
Aug 2012

I want to see them debate foreign policy especially development issues. How should the large in quantity but small in overall GDP of foreign assistance be spent? Where should USAID and US MCC head? If Ryan supported MCC but wants to cut aid in areas where and how and what will be the impact? What will the second term Obama Administration do to US aid policy? Will it merge AID and MCC? Will it improve foregin assistance transparency?

 

magical thyme

(14,881 posts)
40. thank dog I don't have tv, so I won't watch poor Joe get demolished by Paul Ryan
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 06:43 PM
Aug 2012


I remember how poor foot-in-mouth Joe was so uncomfortable and overwhelmed by humility facing Sarah Palin that he referred to her as "Governor Palin" even while she called him "Joe."

ancianita

(36,989 posts)
41. Way to sarcasm.
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 06:53 PM
Aug 2012

Yeah, grantcart, because a 13-year House rep with a B.A. and two laws under his belt for teh folks back home can really put the whoop-ass on a 40-year Senator with a law degree, seven honorary degrees, the Golden Medal of Freedom from Kosovo and more foreign and domestic policy experience than y'all's three moms put together.

Don't make me laugh. Biden will chew him up and spit him out like the rancid cheese puff he is.

 

Coyotl

(15,262 posts)
42. Joe Biden will not be Obama's V-P candidate. Just watch!!
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 07:25 PM
Aug 2012

But hey, if you want to cheer on the Republicans, I know a forum where you will be welcomed

grantcart

(53,061 posts)
66. Pray tell. What forum would there be where someone would read the body of the OP
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 09:06 AM
Aug 2012

and appreciate it more than here.

Dawson Leery

(19,348 posts)
43. Certainly. Any thing short of a 50 point win in the post debate polls
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 08:09 PM
Aug 2012

for Ryan must be considered a terrible loss for the Republican ticket.

applegrove

(120,038 posts)
46. I'm with you. Biden will win but we need to increase expectations for Ryan so high
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 09:03 PM
Aug 2012

he can't but help fail.

Sunlei

(22,651 posts)
47. Joe Biden has decades of actually working for Americans and getting stuff done..Ryan is just another
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 09:12 PM
Aug 2012

new republican paid fake.

flamingdem

(39,599 posts)
49. If all else fails in his expected Gran Performance Ryan can throw his underwear into the crowd
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 10:37 PM
Aug 2012

to save face

Karmasue

(95 posts)
50. Ryan just lost two debates...
Thu Aug 23, 2012, 11:18 PM
Aug 2012

to Mitt Romney.

Ryan vs Mitt budget

Mitt said "my way" if you want to be VP on my team.
Ryan said "I would say whatever you want me to say to get into the white house"

Mitt wins.



Mitt vs Ryan/Akin extremist views

Mitt said "my way" if you want to be VP on my team.
Ryan said "I would say whatever you want me to say to get into the white house"

Mitt wins.




2 - 0 Mitt


LynneSin

(95,337 posts)
58. All the teabaggers that buy the Ikea Paul Ryan foot stool will fail miserably at assembling it
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 12:09 AM
Aug 2012

just saying

SmittynMo

(3,544 posts)
65. He may not have lost any debate, however
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 08:59 AM
Aug 2012

with the difference of views (his and Mittens), he'll be in a tailspin trying to remember what he actually stands for. Mittens has already made him change his views on several subjects, especially abortion. The crap going on in Ryans head must be mind boggling. I stand for this,,,, no wait, Mittens doesn't, and I have to support this idiot. I suspect Biden will smoke his ass in the debates, and wouldn't miss it for the world.

ailsagirl

(23,038 posts)
70. I apologize that I misunderstood your post
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 09:58 AM
Aug 2012

The fine art of irony escapes me at times, particularly on a website whose threads typically leave little room for ambiguity. Sometimes a strategically placed smiley can be very helpful.

 

magical thyme

(14,881 posts)
84. don't just skim. chew your words 32 times each.
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 11:26 PM
Aug 2012

I made it all the way to "wonkmeisterly" and started to giggle.

RickFromMN

(478 posts)
78. Does the VP debate really matter? The top of the ticket is what counts. Anyway, I think what will
Fri Aug 24, 2012, 07:43 PM
Aug 2012

happen.

I think Romney will order Ryan not to get specific on any issue or they will lose.
I expect a lot of weaving and bobbing from Ryan.

I think Ryan will try to find an unexpected lie or statement, to confuse/confound Biden.
I think, a few days after the debate the fact checkers will call Ryan's lie, pants on fire.

I actually expect Ryan to try to rattle Biden, to make Biden look not presidential.

I don't think what the fact checkers say will matter.
Fox News will report what happened in the debate, not what the fact checkers say.

I don't think the VP debate really matters.

Obama must tell everyone about Ryan's voucher plans; that will scare the elderly.
Romney/Ryan's war on women is receiving publicity.
Romney's views on education will excite the young college student (not!).
Minorities aren't going to be very happy with Romney/Ryan either.

There will be four groups voting for Romney/Ryan...can't get away from that.
The Tea Party will not listen to anything they disagree with.
The Christian Right has made up their minds.
The wealthy see Romney/Ryan as a chance for even less taxes and less regulation.
And finally, there is a group of people who vote Republican no matter what.

Edited to add, I forgot Ron Paul and the Libertarians. I expect them to vote Republican.

Maybe they won't. The Republican might alienate Ron Paul and the Libertarians.
They won't vote for Obama. Maybe they will decide not to vote.

Maybe the Christian Right will decide not to vote if Todd Akin isn't forgiven.
Maybe the Tea Party will decide not to vote for Mr. Etch-a-Sketch.

Maybe...maybe...maybe. too many maybes.

Zambero

(9,041 posts)
87. So why has Ryan been coming across as an idiot?
Sat Aug 25, 2012, 12:25 AM
Aug 2012

>>> Oh gee, we have a great plan but I haven't quite crunched those budget numbers yet.

>>> Rape is just another way for conception to happen.

>>> I'm proud of my pro-life record, but if Top o' Ticket Mitt wants to be wishy-washy, then who am I to object?

Soooooo...

For the VP and most any other debate, one liners will ultimately take the day, not which candidate can best manipulate an Excel spreadsheet. Look for a number of questions not lending themselves to wonkish answers, for "walk a fine line" Ryan to be stepping all over himself as he has already done, and for Joe to have those zingers ready.

ThisThreadIsSatire

(786 posts)
89. I'm sorry that you have...
Sun Aug 26, 2012, 05:27 PM
Aug 2012

obviously suffered a severe head injury...

I've read and admired your work for a long time, and -- barring traumatic brain injury -- can only surmise that you must have hit the lottery and were suddenly 'turned' by the prospect of paying fair taxes on your 'hard-earned' booty.

That Eddie Munster-looking, voucher-toting, senior citizen-eating piece of s*** will get his ass handed to him by Vice President Biden.

The only accurate thing you said is that there will be a comic book -- that would be the only appropriate place to explain to the public what Ryan is all about...

And the Ikea commemorative will be a toilet -- not a footstool!

Ryan is such bad news that I was in favor of gay marriage until I realized that there are otherwise good and decent men out there -- like Grover Norquist and Ralph Reed -- who, if permitted, would marry him...

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