Ryan is going to destroy Vice President Biden in the VP Debates

[grantcart]

Last edited Thu Oct 11, 2012, 10:53 PM - Edit history (2)

< Edit On Aug 22 the great events were forseeen in a great vision. Again DU is ahead of the rest.

Not for the satirically impaired>

Paul Ryan is the wonkiest wonkmeisterly Congressman to have ever gone to Congress. He has the entire US budget memorized for the last 10 years. He communicates extremely well and absolutely mesmerizes college faculty's and administrations. Nobel scientists ask him to check their equations before they write their thesis and then ask him to edit the thesis for clarity.

Paul Ryan has never lost a debate.

When he enters the Congressional Republican Caucus all of the members quickly stand and move their chairs aside with a Moses like parting of the room so that he can go to the front of the room unimpeded. They quickly take out pen and paper so that they can write down every word in an operational redundancy should their personal recording devices fail.

Paul Ryan has never lost a debate

He has won every debate he has ever entered. He is bold, brave and has a broad vision. He never prevaricates, dithers or contradicts himself. He is consistent, clear and concise. He is equally familiar with St. Paul, Thomas Aquinas and that atheist broad.

Vice President Joe Biden is just a good old hard working fun guy.

It will be a complete and total victory by Ryan. He is the sacred chalice of the future conservative movement. He is the next Ronald Reagan. Republicans will vote for Romney because they know that Ryan will persuade Romney to take all the right right right right choices.

Paul Ryan has never lost a debate.

In future years Italian composers will write Operas about Ryan's great victory. Anthems will be written and City block murals etched capturing all of the details. A comic book series and an IKEA foot stool will be created to mark it. Paul and Ryan will become the number 1 and 2 names for baby boys starting in 2013.

There are simply not enough adjectives that I could use to push up the bar to the height that Paul Ryan should have to jump over to win this debate.

[riverbendviewgal]

1. Joe will get him

you will see

[notadmblnd]

2. I get it, this is your attempt at humor. Right?

[KansDem]

5. I think grantcart is building expectations...

...so that when the debate takes place, Ryan will fall...BIG TIME!

But I could be wrong...

[jenmito]

19. Nah-you're right. n/t

[cyclezealot]

63. The art of debate is presentation.

For a gullible public , it does not mean those facts won't pass a fact check.. As already has been the case with Ryan's

Road Map

with the fact checkers.. Ryan does not know crap.. He just memorizes unproven lies..
Biden is being coached by the ranking member of of Ryan's Budget committee. Rep. Chris Van Hollen .
Let's just hope Van Hollen is as good as Ryan and Biden can memorize his lines well. Let's all tell Rep. Van Hollen, do your homework when playing con man, Paul Ryan..

[rfranklin]

3. Please use the sarcasm smilie next time or else...

you will be obliterated.

[FLyellowdog]

9. Yes, please do. Trolls are EVERYWHERE!nt

[grantcart]

17. i will not use it under penalty of death

Or atleast a semi painful pinch on the cheek.

[davidpdx]

22. Depends on what cheek you are talking about

[LiberalFighter]

29. Offer that cheek to Ryan

[Poiuyt]

90. Thank you!

Telling everyone you're being sarcastic kind of destroys the point of it, doesn't it?

[trueblue2007]

88. i agree. i hated the original post

[jumptheshadow]

4. That's it, lower the expectations

Politics, West Wing style.

[JaneQPublic]

6. Diminished expectations

Very wise.

Have the public expecting nothing but pearls of wisdom to fall from Ryan's lips, and then anything short of that will be failure.

Have the public expecting Biden to fall on his face, pass gas, and utter a few-dozen hand-palm gaffes, with anything performance better than that being an unqualified success.

[tblue37]

53. I think you mean "facepalm," not "handpalm." I think

"handpalm" would just be clapping.

facepalm:




handpalm:

[JaneQPublic]

62. Yep, you are correct! (nt)

[sinkingfeeling]

7. Your idol worship is pretty sickening.

[hedgehog]

8. Re-read the OP:

"Nobel scientists ask him to check their equations before they write their thesis and then ask him to edit the thesis for clarity. "

[monmouth]

13. The Ikea footstool won me over...n/t

[tblue37]

54. You completely misread the post, which is intended to

falsely (and sarcastically) praise Ryan to the skies in order to raise expectations so high that no matter what he does in the debate, he will not clear that abr.

Of course grantcart does not believe this stuff about Ryan! He is making a joke!

[sinkingfeeling]

69. And my reply was done sarcastically as well.

[tblue37]

76. grantcart's over-the-top tells in his post made his sarcasm obvious. There is nothing in your

post that suggests sarcasm at all.

[grantcart]

92. see I was right after all

[Jennicut]

10. Ha! The MSM is so ridiculous sometimes.

I do wonder if they realize that Biden has been dealing with world leaders and tackling tough issues since Paul Ryan was a wee baby. It reminds me of when Lloyd Bentsen put Dan Quayle in his place.

[SILVER__FOX52]

11. Pfftt !!

What a Joke. Grandfart, I would not bet my life on that.

[grantcart]

14. if only they would bring back the unrec button so you could

Make your displeasure have a greater impact.

[tblue37]

55. Irony-impaired much? nt

[monmouth]

12. It's hilarious and I love it. Go grantcart..n/t

[catbyte]

15. "Moses-like parting of the room..."

Well done.

[RKP5637]

51. Oops, I had to reread that, I thought you said farting in the room!

[blm]

16. hey grant, can we spread this around the internets? ; )

.

[grantcart]

20. absolutely, just don't blame me if you are unfriended on FaceMag

[blm]

74. heheh...I think I can handle that

; )

[BeyondGeography]

18. He doesn't just know math, he invented it.

[louis-t]

35. "Sharks have a week dedicated to him"

[Arkana]

68. He doesn't always drink beer...

but when he does, he prefers Dos Equis.



Stay thirsty, my friends.

[renie408]

21. I got all the way to "Italian composers" before I figured it out.

And I was getting pretty damned testy, too! I think Ole Joe is pretty quick on his feet, even with one of them in his mouth.

[GallopingGhost]

23. Joe is just Biden his time...

he's Akin to destroy Lyin Ryan.

[Mr.Bill]

24. The 2008 vice presidential debate

I thought Biden was brilliant the way he let Palin look like a fool without him taking the role of bully, a trap that would have been easy for him to fall into.

He will make Ryan look like a child that has silly ideas, and Ryan will help him do it.

[CabCurious]

25. Scientifically, approximately 63% of all males become sexually aroused by Ryan's oratory skills

True

[Surya Gayatri]

37. Let's hope they resist the urge to drop

trou in their excited frenzy.

[immoderate]

26. Joe's in a lotta trouble...

Time to take off for the HILLS!


--imm

[brush]

27. Don't think so

Soon as foreign policy is mentioned Ryan is screwed. He has no experience what so ever. Biden was on foreign policy committees for years, plus he served as VP. Oh, and what about when they talk about abortion, personhood, and medicare? I don't think Ryan wants to go there either.

[tblue37]

56. A joke! The OP is a friggin' JOKE! Grantcart should not have to

plaster the sarcasm tag all over obvious jokes to prevent people from completely misreading them.

[brush]

72. Not a good one

He should make it clear that the post was supposed to be sarcasm. There are trolls here all the time posting similar cr ap.

[thevoiceofreason]

73. What is up with all the low volume posters who joined on 4/1/12?

Yesterday we had several "concerned citizen posts" from folks who also joined on April Fool's Day. Hmmm.

Anyone who has been here a while knows grantcart - one of DU's most senior and respected statesmen. And a huge Obama supporter.

[tblue37]

75. There were SEVERAL comments in the OP that made it obvious that it was

deliberately over the top and intended as a joke.

Poe's Law isn't even relevant here, because there were so many obvious tells.

[LiberalFighter]

28. Ryan is the second cumming of the Messiah.

The Pope will declare any Catholic voting against Ryan to be a heretic.

[chelsea0011]

30. The RW talking points of how Ryan beat Biden in the debate have already been written

[southernyankeebelle]

31. We shall see. I thought Biden handled himself pretty well during the last debate with dipshit.

I am sure he will do just as well. Remember this will be Ryan's first time on a national stage. I go with Joe. Age and charm for sure plus job experience.

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

32. I think some people are unfamiliar with the wit and wisdom of Grantcart

[annabanana]

79. clearly. We LURVES our Grantcart. . . n/t

[louis-t]

33. Don't forget "Our children will sing patriotic songs about us"

Gaaah!

[grantcart]

61. sigh

[redwitch]

36. I am astonished at how many didn't get your point.

Paul Ryan made Chuck Norris what he is today. And that most interesting guy in the world guy? Obviously drawn from real life Paul Ryan.

[dimbear]

38. In a sentence mentioning Saint Paul, why not remember that it's Saint Thomas Aquinas and

Saint Ayn Rand.

(Second one real, the last one is just in Paul Ryan's mind.)

[Jeneral2885]

39. Ok seriously

I want to see them debate foreign policy especially development issues. How should the large in quantity but small in overall GDP of foreign assistance be spent? Where should USAID and US MCC head? If Ryan supported MCC but wants to cut aid in areas where and how and what will be the impact? What will the second term Obama Administration do to US aid policy? Will it merge AID and MCC? Will it improve foregin assistance transparency?

[magical thyme]

40. thank dog I don't have tv, so I won't watch poor Joe get demolished by Paul Ryan

I remember how poor foot-in-mouth Joe was so uncomfortable and overwhelmed by humility facing Sarah Palin that he referred to her as "Governor Palin" even while she called him "Joe."

[ancianita]

41. Way to sarcasm.

Yeah, grantcart, because a 13-year House rep with a B.A. and two laws under his belt for teh folks back home can really put the whoop-ass on a 40-year Senator with a law degree, seven honorary degrees, the Golden Medal of Freedom from Kosovo and more foreign and domestic policy experience than y'all's three moms put together.

Don't make me laugh. Biden will chew him up and spit him out like the rancid cheese puff he is.

[Coyotl]

42. Joe Biden will not be Obama's V-P candidate. Just watch!!

But hey, if you want to cheer on the Republicans, I know a forum where you will be welcomed

[grantcart]

66. Pray tell. What forum would there be where someone would read the body of the OP

and appreciate it more than here.

[Dawson Leery]

43. Certainly. Any thing short of a 50 point win in the post debate polls

for Ryan must be considered a terrible loss for the Republican ticket.

[eppur_se_muova]

44. Can I pre-order the Ikea footstool ?

Just think what that baby will fetch on eBay 10 years from now.

[Dan]

45. Doesn't it depend on

if Ryan is allowed to lie?

[applegrove]

46. I'm with you. Biden will win but we need to increase expectations for Ryan so high

he can't but help fail.

[Sunlei]

47. Joe Biden has decades of actually working for Americans and getting stuff done..Ryan is just another

new republican paid fake.

[renate]

48. I loves me that Joe Biden

Welcome to DU!

[flamingdem]

49. If all else fails in his expected Gran Performance Ryan can throw his underwear into the crowd

to save face

[Karmasue]

50. Ryan just lost two debates...

to Mitt Romney.

Ryan vs Mitt budget

Mitt said "my way" if you want to be VP on my team.
Ryan said "I would say whatever you want me to say to get into the white house"

Mitt wins.



Mitt vs Ryan/Akin extremist views

Mitt said "my way" if you want to be VP on my team.
Ryan said "I would say whatever you want me to say to get into the white house"

Mitt wins.




2 - 0 Mitt

[Rosa Luxemburg]

52. Mr. Medicare Slasher can't defend himself

[jberryhill]

57. Lol

Obama should just concede the election now. Lol

[LynneSin]

58. All the teabaggers that buy the Ikea Paul Ryan foot stool will fail miserably at assembling it

just saying

[cliffordu]

59. Well......

MEDS, GRANTCART!!!

MEDS!!!!

[morningglory]

60. Plus: a total wackjob (Ryan)! nt

[cheezmaka]

64. Paul Ryan has never lost a debate... That's ok!

There's a first time for everything!

[SmittynMo]

65. He may not have lost any debate, however

with the difference of views (his and Mittens), he'll be in a tailspin trying to remember what he actually stands for. Mittens has already made him change his views on several subjects, especially abortion. The crap going on in Ryans head must be mind boggling. I stand for this,,,, no wait, Mittens doesn't, and I have to support this idiot. I suspect Biden will smoke his ass in the debates, and wouldn't miss it for the world.

[cheezmaka]

83. Me neither

I believe Biden will be on his A game!

[Laura PourMeADrink]

67. You are funny ! I hope they ask him to explain how it feels to be so wonderful.

[ailsagirl]

70. I apologize that I misunderstood your post

The fine art of irony escapes me at times, particularly on a website whose threads typically leave little room for ambiguity. Sometimes a strategically placed smiley can be very helpful.

[grantcart]

81. Thanks for coming back.

[ailsagirl]

82. Thank *you*, grantcart

[magical thyme]

84. don't just skim. chew your words 32 times each.

I made it all the way to "wonkmeisterly" and started to giggle.

[ailsagirl]

85. I know, I know

[thevoiceofreason]

71. Love it, Craig!

Paul Ryan, the new Chuck Norris!

[freshwest]

77. Will Nobel scientists ask Little Dedo to donate his sperm to conquer the world?

[RickFromMN]

78. Does the VP debate really matter? The top of the ticket is what counts. Anyway, I think what will

happen.

I think Romney will order Ryan not to get specific on any issue or they will lose.
I expect a lot of weaving and bobbing from Ryan.

I think Ryan will try to find an unexpected lie or statement, to confuse/confound Biden.
I think, a few days after the debate the fact checkers will call Ryan's lie, pants on fire.

I actually expect Ryan to try to rattle Biden, to make Biden look not presidential.

I don't think what the fact checkers say will matter.
Fox News will report what happened in the debate, not what the fact checkers say.

I don't think the VP debate really matters.

Obama must tell everyone about Ryan's voucher plans; that will scare the elderly.
Romney/Ryan's war on women is receiving publicity.
Romney's views on education will excite the young college student (not!).
Minorities aren't going to be very happy with Romney/Ryan either.

There will be four groups voting for Romney/Ryan...can't get away from that.
The Tea Party will not listen to anything they disagree with.
The Christian Right has made up their minds.
The wealthy see Romney/Ryan as a chance for even less taxes and less regulation.
And finally, there is a group of people who vote Republican no matter what.

Edited to add, I forgot Ron Paul and the Libertarians. I expect them to vote Republican.

Maybe they won't. The Republican might alienate Ron Paul and the Libertarians.
They won't vote for Obama. Maybe they will decide not to vote.

Maybe the Christian Right will decide not to vote if Todd Akin isn't forgiven.
Maybe the Tea Party will decide not to vote for Mr. Etch-a-Sketch.

Maybe...maybe...maybe. too many maybes.

[grantcart]

86. All good grist for a serious discussion of VP debates, if there ever is a thread about them.

[NBachers]

80. Cities will be built just to be named for Him; streets in every community will proclaim His name

[Zambero]

87. So why has Ryan been coming across as an idiot?

>>> Oh gee, we have a great plan but I haven't quite crunched those budget numbers yet.

>>> Rape is just another way for conception to happen.

>>> I'm proud of my pro-life record, but if Top o' Ticket Mitt wants to be wishy-washy, then who am I to object?

Soooooo...

For the VP and most any other debate, one liners will ultimately take the day, not which candidate can best manipulate an Excel spreadsheet. Look for a number of questions not lending themselves to wonkish answers, for "walk a fine line" Ryan to be stepping all over himself as he has already done, and for Joe to have those zingers ready.

[ThisThreadIsSatire]

89. I'm sorry that you have...

obviously suffered a severe head injury...

I've read and admired your work for a long time, and -- barring traumatic brain injury -- can only surmise that you must have hit the lottery and were suddenly 'turned' by the prospect of paying fair taxes on your 'hard-earned' booty.

That Eddie Munster-looking, voucher-toting, senior citizen-eating piece of s*** will get his ass handed to him by Vice President Biden.

The only accurate thing you said is that there will be a comic book -- that would be the only appropriate place to explain to the public what Ryan is all about...

And the Ikea commemorative will be a toilet -- not a footstool!

Ryan is such bad news that I was in favor of gay marriage until I realized that there are otherwise good and decent men out there -- like Grover Norquist and Ralph Reed -- who, if permitted, would marry him...

[grantcart]

91. Kick for the memories.