For those planning their very public exits from DU, Paul Simon might be able to help...

[Surya Gayatri]

This discussion thread was locked as off-topic by Hassin Bin Sober (a host of the 2016 Postmortem forum).

Lyrics:

"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover

She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Ooo slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
Don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
Get yourself free

She said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

She said why don't we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover

You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Oh you hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

Slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
You just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free

FREEDUMB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[djean111]

1. I do appreciate knowing that a poster who leaves is leaving on their own volition,

not hid until suspended, or in poor health, or even passed away.
Of course, those who jeer at good-bye posts can just not click on them, instead of getting all petty authoritarian or whatever!

[Surya Gayatri]

2. "petty authoritarian"...hum, don't see it - but then, humor

is a very subjective thing.

[djean111]

3. Oh, the song is great, brings back memories, actually!

But just a little while ago I read a farewell from someone who has MS and cannot take the stress, and there was an OP yesterday railing and jeering, with much approval, about people saying good-bye.

[Surya Gayatri]

6. Have never seriously considered abandoning the DU ship, but if

I did, I think I'd send PM's to the DUers I've had most contact with and leave it at that, assuming that the word would get around.

Just to let certain posters know, quietly and discreetly. No public pronouncements or demands to have my account erased.

Never have been very big on grand gestures, whether in the spiritual, social or political spheres.

[1StrongBlackMan]

11. I think the thread of the DUer leaving because of MS (and stress reduction) ...

and the OP yesterday railing and jeering, with much approval, about people saying good-bye, are unconnected. The latter OP was more likely directed at the two GBCW threads, by the same former(?) DUer, in which she told the people that agreed with her how much she loved them and told the rest of DU to get fucked.

Wouldn't you agree that is the more likely connection?

[davidpdx]

4. It's bad enough that we have a grave dancing club on DU

[Surya Gayatri]

5. Not aware of such a "club", and even if I were, would certainly NOT be among its members.

[davidpdx]

7. No, but if you really can't see what's going on then you aren't on much or aren't paying attention

[Surya Gayatri]

8. Prefer to see the positive where I can, and ignore the negative

where I can't.

Must admit that much of the pre-school-style food fighting and sophomoric one-upmanship goes right by me, and "tant mieux" as the French would say.

[nashville_brook]

18. then...why do you participate in what appears to be the negative

"pre-school style food fighting and sophomoric one-upmanship" with this? it's really not helping right now.

[Surya Gayatri]

23. NOT one-upping anybody or throwing food in anybody's direction--just chuckling

at human folly and hubris.

[sibelian]

52. Not. Seeing. How....

chuckling at human folly and hubris ISN'T one-upmanship, Surya.

You're not really making sense to me.

[Surya Gayatri]

69. Ah, were we not able to smile at our and our fellow humans' foibles,

we should all fall into the depths of despair or the terrible tunnel of insanity.

Chuckling or "taking the Mickey" as our Brit cousins love to say, is NOT one-upping, keeping-up-with-the-Joneses, or even intellectual showmanship, IMHO.

[A Simple Game]

58. Not one-upping anyone or throwing food just laughing at people. So much better. n/t

[artislife]

68. But make fun of people on DU.

...very positive.

[stupidicus]

16. yep, they are like schoolyard bullies picking on the challenged kids

some of them even claim their pursuits/goals aren't negative as they negatively pursue them.

[IronLionZion]

9. Carly Simon might help too

[Surya Gayatri]

10. Bet you think this thread is about you, don't you, don't you...

[1StrongBlackMan]

12. Well played. LOL. n/t

[Surya Gayatri]

14. Hey there, 1SBM! A good deal of levity is required, else we should all, lemming-like,

collectively jump over the cyber-cliff!

[wendylaroux]

21. 1StrongBlackMan? you are?

[1StrongBlackMan]

34. Am I what? ...

One person? ... Strong? ... A Black person? ... A Man? ... a Strong Black Man? ... Or, Well Played?

[LiberalArkie]

46. Results :

On Sat Nov 21, 2015, 08:16 AM an alert was sent on the following post:

1StrongBlackMan? you are?
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1251&pid=834388

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

ALERTER'S COMMENTS

fuck you.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Sat Nov 21, 2015, 08:18 AM, and the Jury voted 3-4 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Ditto Alert verbiage !!
Juror #4 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Personal attack.
Juror #7 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[Botany]

13. This post has the class of rat's ass

Some of DU has become toxic of late and some good people have
left DU because of that and I find it more then a little shameful that
you take joy in that.

BTW this post goes against one of the best rules of DU and that is
do not carry on "fights" between different threads.

[longship]

15. Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing! We have a winner!

No DUrec for this thread.

[stupidicus]

17. but there's always sufficiient positive reinforcement from the rest of the tribe

to kill any sense of shame in the brain before it even arises

if that doesn't do it, the sated need for attention does.

[artislife]

70. Perfect! nt

[Surya Gayatri]

19. Not 'fighting' with anybody. Abhor and avoid conflict for spiritual and health reasons...

Just bemused by all of the determinedly 'public' farewells that make it to the GREATEST PAGE--LOL!

[nashville_brook]

20. yay -- you made it to the Greatest page -- such spiritual endeavor.

[Surya Gayatri]

22. But, NOT in a spirit of confrontation, rather with a soupçon of levity and lightheartedness...

[stupidicus]

26. indeed, I'm sure catherine/etc just adores you now

it's not just rightwingers who gladly become the best witnesses for their own prosecution eh

[Surya Gayatri]

29. Sorry, 'catherine' who adores me? Don't follow.

Hey there, Hi there, stupid-i-cus!

[stupidicus]

38. of course you don't

as many others have already noted, you're leading the way in unflattering and telling ways.

thanks for that.

[Surya Gayatri]

42. Glad I could help, if only by "leading from behind"...

[stupidicus]

67. hardly, I'd say you're leading strongly in dispensing cruelty/mockery/insensitivity/etc

with what you're figuratively pulling outta your behind.

please proceed eh

[Surya Gayatri]

75. Leading on the Quidditch pitch you mean? Up, up and away!

[polly7]

77. Good advice. You should take it. nt.

[wendylaroux]

24. you're awesome!

congrats!!! I am sure you hear this from real life people too!

[Surya Gayatri]

31. Never so far, but if you would like to bestow the daily/yearly prize on me,

feel free! Deeply honored...

[artislife]

71. ^^ this nt

[Botany]

25. do not spread bullshit on toast and tell me to eat it up because it is ....

.... just "country style apple butter."

This post keeps "the fight" going even after some long time good people say they
are leaving DU and a post makes it to the Greatest Page after enough other DU
members think it is worthy.

[Surya Gayatri]

33. LOVE that expression! Mind if I borrow it? Never know when it

may come in useful!

[merrily]

28. People say goodbye. Other people respond. So the fuck what?

That some of you make such a big fucking deal out it is ludicrous.

[Surya Gayatri]

35. Saying "farewell", IMHO, would remain a much more private, discreet and personal endeavor...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251834232#post6

[polly7]

37. Why?

Catherina is a very long-time member here who's gotten the love and respect from probably .... hundreds, over the years.

If she wants to let everyone know her plans so we don't worry when she's not here ....... what's the problem???

[stupidicus]

41. well, she needed to send out hundreds of PM to avoid her comeuppance

that she so richly earned and deserved from the

[polly7]

44. I'm going to miss her so much, she encouraged and helped me when I was going

through a bad time, I know she probably helped many others, personally, as well. I think this grave-dancing shit is mostly jealousy anyway.

Her posts and threads were amazing and showed her huge heart - I think it's very tough on here for people that care so much.

[stupidicus]

48. sorry about that polly

I didn't know her or have any memorable interactions with her, but I understand and empathize with the many of you that did.

Having insulting others this way/having "fun" at the expense of others describes who/what I'd ask the reader. He no doubt will get enough attaboys from his pals to compensate for the ridicule he seems to be seeking.

What kinda genius wouldn't have seen that coming? One that doesn't care, but thinks they occupy the moral highground in this instance

[polly7]

49. You're right. A little introspection into why the need for cruelty would seem

to be a good thing right now. I doubt very much it happens though.

[Surya Gayatri]

54. Don't know this "catherine" being spoken of, so certainly cannot be jealous of him/her in any way.

There's always facebook for "friending" and personal contact.

I personally don't "do" facebook, as the public hanging-out of one's intimate laundry does NOT appeal to me, and I do not require the existential confirmation of the 'friending' process.

[polly7]

55. If you don't know of her, why the grave-dancing thread?

Who is it aimed at?

[Surya Gayatri]

57. Several "farewell, I'm off the cliff" posts that I happened to spot on the top of the GP.

Had never even read a post by the worshipful, sainted 'catherine'.

[polly7]

59. It's 'Catherina', and the very last thing she thinks of herself is 'worshiped or sainted'.

Sorry, she's not like that. She has a heart that's too big for this place and while she was here posted many, many things re the suffering of so many around the globe. People who had a problem with her had no problem with that suffering. Period.

Make up something else about someone you know nothing about.

[artislife]

72. Funny how you now are

starting to characterize a poster you didn't know. Your real self is showing...

[stupidicus]

60. well, it's like with this post here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1251&pid=801980

Sure, different posters on different boards are supposed coordinate with the activities of others they are unaware of.

It's pretty obvious that the vehicle here and there aren't what's important, it's the chainyanking destination by all appearances. That's why both efforts will remain uindefensible.

This one is actually worse considering it's intentionally and inexcusably hurtful not just to the posters over their harmless goodbyes, but also to those who will miss them.

[polly7]

61. Yeah, that thread was a joke too. Not sick like this one though. You're right. nt.

[Autumn]

66. Some people just need their own web site, where they are the only member.

It would be so much more enjoyable and pleasant for them... and fricking awesome for the rest of us.

[sibelian]

53. Sailors desert sinking ships along with rats.

And you're not really avoiding conflict here.

I don't avoid conflict. I've long ago learned that it's just normal.

[polly7]

27. Ick. nt.

[Buzz Clik]

30. This shit again? Why?

Do you think you invented this? Someone should start a thread: "For those who are tempted to invoke Paul Simon when someone is leaving DU..."

[Surya Gayatri]

50. Nah, I didn't invent anything--not clever enough. That said, Paul DID

write the definitive opus for those who wish to leave, and who require that we KNOW about it, in no uncertain terms.

[polly7]

51. I doubt very much she cared if 'you' knew about it. She has many friends here who she

did want to know, however. And now we'll miss her, but we won't worry. I don't get your problem with that.

[Surya Gayatri]

63. Whew, SO glad he/she won't be further depressed by my total

ignorance of his/her much appreciated postings and certain celebrity.

FWIW, his/her method of announcing his/her final farewell is his/her business, just as my reaction to and commentary on the spate of such posts on the GP is my business.

[polly7]

65. Yeah ......... grave-dancing to get your much anticipated

pile-on isn't really just your business when you post it on a public message board. Perhaps you could have pm'd your unhappiness over her goodbye to those she cared about to her personally, no???

[99Forever]

32. Grave dancers gotta gloat.

[Surya Gayatri]

39. A DUer has died? Desolated to hear it...

[99Forever]

62. You seriously think you are fooling ANYONE?

Perhaps yourself, I guess.

What an awful, trivial, petty, empty way to be.

[polly7]

73. Yep. And she/he even had to recommend this mean, spiteful little thread themselves.

I'd feel bad if that was all I had to contribute.

[jalan48]

36. I agree with some of the posters who have left and I feel a loss at their absence.

However, when it gets right down to it, does anyone out there in the real world really care what we think?

[Surya Gayatri]

40. No need to inject a dose of reality into the gathering pity party...

"...when it gets right down to it...", you hit the proverbial nail on its hard head.

[stupidicus]

45. what the rest of the world thinks has no appplication the narrow and specific case here

this is all about someone mocking the public departure of a well liked and respected member, as well as those who object to it.

[jalan48]

47. Yes, my thoughts were more general in nature.

We all seem to like to mock one another when given the chance. It's almost tribal.

[seaglass]

43. I like this song. Don't really have a problem with people posting threads that they are leaving,

two of them were able to do it without the insults, one was not. I say best wishes to the 2 who had some class.

[sibelian]

56. Well, there we are, then.

That was fun.

[nolabels]

64. I kind of don't recognize this place anymore

But after thirteen or so years the one poster i did not like, that was the original reason for my only handle 'nolabels' left. This of course after much ado and many other claims of that poster to be leaving beforehand. I personally never did have an exact personal beef with poster other than knowing from the beginning and starting out that the poster was just full of hot air. And now that poster is gone. We will outlast you and also know where the bodies are buried.

So go ahead have at it

[artislife]

74. Don't worry Surya,

No one will care if you leave.

[Surya Gayatri]

76. Oh, perfectly convinced of it!