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seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 01:15 PM Dec 2012

Fed Up with Sexist Trolls, Female Comic Goes Silent Until Good Guys Speak Up

Count it as another blow to the myth of a kinder, gentler Internet. Comedian Jen Kirkman (Chelsea Lately, Drunk History) has gone on Twitter hiatus until, as she puts it, "the men get loud" about the brutal online abuse of women. In a Tumblr post last night, Kirkman explained that whenever she's the target of hatefilled, sexist rants (she shares a smattering of examples), she hears from her male fellow comedians who "DM me or text me or email me or talk to me about how they hate it too but they never speak up." Private support is nice, but as she makes clear, it does absolutely nothing to challenge a culture that indulges and encourages cyber-misogyny.

Kirkman is understandably frustrated by men who make comforting noises but claim that they "don't know what to say" to sexist trolls. Men don't need expertise in anti-sexist activism to stand up against woman-hating; plenty of male comedians openly campaigned for Obama, she notes, without having degrees in political science or public policy. Kirkman doesn't need to spell out the obvious reason why men don't speak out: too many "good guys" either don't take sexist trolling seriously or they're too afraid of becoming the targets of ridicule from those same bullies if they do step up openly.

To help get the guys going, Kirkman started a Tumblr called MA'AM: Men Against Assholes & Misogyny that is open to contributions from all male allies, not just her fellow comics. Kirkman writes that she's "asking for men who understand us to write from your hearts about your experiences with sexism in your life. How do you feel when the women in your life experience online harassing injustices that may seem small but sometimes seem like the loudest voices in our cultural dialogue?"

*

When well-meaning men tell women that they need to "toughen up" or "don't let the hating bother you" they're operating under the false impression that trolls are equal opportunity tormentors and that every public figure gets an equal dose of haterade. As Kirkman and others have made clear, that's simply not true. (I can speak to this fairly easy: I've been the target of a huge amount of online criticism, but have never had a single rape threat, never once been maligned for my looks or my weight, never once been told to make someone a sammich.)

http://jezebel.com/5964693/fed-up-with-sexist-trolls-female-comic-goes-silent-until-good-guys-speak-up?popular=true&post=54769583



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CrispyQ

(36,501 posts)
1. I'm not familiar with the author & didn't realize there was a controversy
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 01:26 PM
Dec 2012

about him on that site until I read some of the comments. Whatever. I think he made some good points in this commentary.

too many "good guys" either don't take sexist trolling seriously or they're too afraid of becoming the targets of ridicule from those same bullies if they do step up openly.


Not just bullies, there may also be concern that his friends would ridicule him too, if they found out.

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
5. i hardly ever read comments anymore on so much.
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 04:56 PM
Dec 2012

so i do not know anything about that. so often, if it is anything about women or gender issues, there is a bunch of vile sexist crap. lol. kinda what is being addressed.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
2. Don't just be a Man, Be The Man. --
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 02:18 PM
Dec 2012

The man that isn't afraid to Speak Up.

The man that is tough enough to be gentle.

The man that knows to bend is not to break.

The man that stands tallest when kneeling to help another.

The man that walks beside not in front of you.

Little Star

(17,055 posts)
3. Did you make those up Tuesday or are they quoted from somewhere?..
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 04:03 PM
Dec 2012

I like them. But immediately my mind tweaked them a bit to fit for 'The Woman' too. They would make great sig lines! Cool!

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
4. I don't know to be honest. Seems like they are truths that I have known forever. How did I learn
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 04:26 PM
Dec 2012

them? Somewhere along the way I must have read them

Thanks and feel free to Use Them.

Happy Holidays, Little Star

 

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)
6. this is what i grew up with. this is the men i knew and know. and this is what i heard
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 04:57 PM
Dec 2012

being said over and over, in early generations teaching our boys from father to son.

this is how i know about this stuff. i see you were asked. but you wrote it in such a great manner, that it appears something that would be "said" by some ONE, lol. ya know. ya ya ya, you are a special someone.

Tuesday Afternoon

(56,912 posts)
9. yes, My brothers learned this, as did I. What has happened that people do not know these
Sat Dec 8, 2012, 06:46 PM
Dec 2012

truths to be self evident

Happy Holidays, seabeyond

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