The Deep Spiritual Practice Of Not Giving A Shit

[redqueen]

Over the years, I’ve written many articles on things like dealing with negative comments about your body, letting go ofcomparing yourself to others,handling haters, and so forth. These are some of my most popular articles.

And I know why that is.

You’ve been taught, over and over again, that people’s opinions of you matter.

You’ve been taught that if someone thinks you’re too fat, or too loud, or too smart, or too dumb, or too whatever, or not enough whatever, that they get to have a say in how you feel about yourself.

So I’d like to introduce you to the deep spiritual practice of Not Giving A Shit

...

http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/04/the-deep-spiritual-practice-of-not-giving-a-shit/

[Eleanors38]

1. I like this outlook. Might not be the place for this quote:

"I've found as I've gotten older, you really DO care less." Clint Eastwood

[seabeyond]

2. oh, goodness so fuckin true. you leave ego behind. if not, an older person is in a world of hurt.

son and i were talking about this yesterday. he has a healthy ego. well deserved. but, i had been thinking about the ego, and how it will carry him thru the first handful of years in adulthood. but then, in our 30's we really need to let go of ego. put it to the side. tell it it did a good job, now time to take a rest. ego makes life real hard as we get older.

[Eleanors38]

4. Wise words. I've found ego can turn into excess anger.

I think it is a sign of positive change this thread did not degenerate into the usual joking and self-hussling attempts at "sexuality."

[geek tragedy]

3. Caring about what someone says or thinks about you grants them power over you. nt

[Eleanors38]

7. Posted in wrong thread. Jeez, I'm getting old.

[ismnotwasm]

6. I'm a little careful with this, because for me it's a real thing

Because, I really-and in ways that I find difficult to explain--don't give a shit. Or perhaps, to quote the infamous tweet by Rhianna, "I ran out of fucks to give". It goes deeper than body image, deeper than personal friendships or interactions. In my real life, I have many superficial friends I guess you'd say, because that's how they're going to remain-superficial. This both allows me to accept people how they are, and maintain boundaries of what is acceptable to me. The far fewer deeper friendships are people who I've 'vetted'

Not giving a shit also makes me a little insensitive, and that's why I'm careful. It also makes me dismissive of certain kinds of idiocy, which as a feminist I need to confront. People end up in my permanent 'useless' category. Here, other online sites, or in RL. (It's why I trash threads but never use ignore)

I've learned to try and not to shame other women who are fucking clueless.

I notice on-line, if you respond to something with anger or passion, people tend to think its the personal. They honestly believe its about them, and not about the topic. These kind of responders tend to needle away, looking for a reaction, never a discussion. How to change the dialogue to the topic and stay on the topic, I don't know.


Saying this is one thing, putting it in practice is another. But free? Oh my yes.

[Luminous Animal]

16. When my mother was in her mid-thirties, she started "whiting" people out of her phonebook...

People that she started to consider were toxic to her general happiness. She would still be pleasant to them when she saw them in the neighborhood or about town but idle chitchat on the phone or invitations to BBQs? No more. It was cool to see her go through that transition as she had previously really taken other people's superficial opinion of her to heart. My sister, one of my dad's sisters, and I became her best friends. Essentially she found she loved herself and allied with those who loved her too.

[Blue Owl]

8. The Dude called, he's abiding again...

[ismnotwasm]

9. Heh!

[snagglepuss]

10. .

[bettyellen]

11. boy it does piss them off more than anything when you don't give a shit... and say so.

but I rather enjoy it, LOL.

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

12. Everyone needs to wear a shirt now and then

It's just healthy to express yourself.



Just an opinion.

[ismnotwasm]

13. I'm fond of this one

A bit different attitude of course -- got it at "The Adams Family" musical

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

14. In the interest of not hijacking the thread...

...I'll send you some mail.

[chervilant]

15. Here's my personal favorite,

which came out of me when I was about 12:

"Other people's opinions of you are NOT a definition of who you are."'