If you don't like rape, you're a prude

[BainsBane]

They say so in GD, so it must be so. Imagine thinking you have a right to determine with whom you consent to have sex? Only uptight prudes don't like to revisit their sexual assault through porn. "Sex negative" feminists are such a buzz kill, thinking their right to control their own bodies actually means anything. There we go "haranguing" and "punishing men" again.

[gollygee]

1. I can't take them too seriously

I just think about how amused my husband would be to hear me called "sex-negative" or "a prude."

[BainsBane]

2. Don't you wonder

If these guys like sex so much, why do they spend so much time watching porn rather than having sex? And how is it that they continually mistake watching porn for a sex life?

[smirkymonkey]

16. Exactly. I don't see how a man can genuinely claim to like women if he gets off on violent rape

(simulated or not) imagery and degradation of them. I certainly would be with any man who did, because who knows if he would end up doing that to me someday. I really have to question someone who actually finds the sexual torture of another human being arousing.

[Sheldon Cooper]

3. Wow, I must have all the right people on ignore because I've missed out on most of the

rape threads. Which is probably good - I'm sure any contribution I'd make would be too much for the he-man women haters to bear.

[BainsBane]

4. me too

I opened an incognito window to see who had responded to one of my posts, and I saw a really foul OP and poll.

[Sheldon Cooper]

5. This place sucks for women.

[seabeyond]

6. the right calls ya a slut. the left calls you a prude. both attacking womens sexuality

to shame. the hypocrisy is glaring and they have no embarrassment at all using the same tactics as the right.

none at all.

it is so far beyond dishonest.

[BainsBane]

7. Sometimes the so-called left calls you

a "slut" too. We've seen that on a number of occasions on DU.

[seabeyond]

8. true that. the left is unique. cause they sometimes stand up for womens right, abortion, well

sometimes, they can call women a slut or prude and just say they are feminists. lol

[BainsBane]

9. Lol

"I'm a feminist. You're not a real feminist so I don't have listen to anything you say. Real feminists do and say what I want them to."

[LanternWaste]

10. It's defended and justified in order to better validate and justify the viewer's own self-identity..

I'm of the opinion that the garbage we allow into our minds and hearts is the same garbage that eventually makes up part and parcel of our identity (in computer-land, the IT guys call it "GIGO" Garbage In = Garbage Out, in reference to badly coded software).

Of course we're going to rationalize rape porn if a) the above premise is true, and b) we watch it. If we didn't rationalize it to ourselves and others, we'd see that very garbage every time we look in a mirror-- and not too many people are honest enough with ourselves to see what we're made up of on an individual level.

If we can call rape porn as something other than "vulgar" or "demeaning", it allows us to deny using those same words as we describe ourselves... and who but the most honest person wants to identify vulgarity or demeaning perceptions in ourselves, regardless that identifying it allows us to begin growing away from it, and healing ourselves?

So it's defended and justified I think, in order to better validate and justify the viewer's own self-identity.

[BainsBane]

11. Very well said

and a take I had not thought of, but it makes a lot of sense.

[seabeyond]

19. excellent post. you did give me insight. thanks. very good. i knew dome of it, but you explained

it much better.

better validate and justify the viewer's own self-identity.

i didnt take it all the way to self identity. that is a tough one to challenge

[Texasgal]

12. all this talk about being negative

towards sex is really stupid.

How hard is to understand that rape and the sexualization of Women is wrong? It's exasperating!

[BainsBane]

13. I was just told that I think of all sex is rape

[Texasgal]

14. GAH!

So out of touch it's amazing!

UGH.

[PassingFair]

24. But, but....one woman on the internet somewhere called herself "sex negative", so this is a correct

...term for someone who is not a voyeur.

I think we should identify the porn lovers as "sex plus" instead of "sex positive".

[ismnotwasm]

15. Is that was what that was qbout?

I'm still at work, checked for a minute and saw some sex positive flame- bait thread that I tossed in the trash. Never mind the whole sex positive movement is getting less and less traction-- mostly because it's divisive bullshit.

[seabeyond]

20. sex positive has just about gone away to be taken over by the younger generation of 2nd wave

who are so fuckin tired of all being pornified, sexualized and objectified. they really are not listening to the younger generation. the twenty somethings and 30's had better scoot over cause these young kids are kick ass and they are fuckin fed up.

[MadrasT]

17. OK then I am a prude.

so fucking what

No disrespect meant to you, but I am completely over caring how people label or rate my fuckability.

I simply do. Not. Care.

My sexuality is none of anybody's business. Anyone who wants to label, rate, or judge me according to a) sexuality or b) gender identity or c) degree of "sex positivity" is a flaming asshole and their opinion is irrelevant.

[BainsBane]

18. You're more evolved than I

I just have to forget they exist. Truly, they have no relevance to my life.

[seabeyond]

21. you know madras, stupid me, i thought there might actually be some that would say, wow. doing the

came as slut shaming. bad bad. not gonna do that one anymore.

actually out of all the posts, there was ONE. ONE that was respectful enough to say. i get it. wont do it.

and i know i was surprised. and impressed. but surprised.

but you are right. who gives a fuck. but, someone has to call them out. but but but

you are right. personally. i do not give a shit

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. **** Proud to be a Prude ****

[YoungDemCA]

23. That thread is beyond shameful

Absolutely vile, what people are willing to defend.

[BainsBane]

26. Yeah, that was disconcerting

and unexpected from that member, I have to say.

[BainsBane]

28. Hey, I'm exactly the same. INTJ

You're absolutely correct it's about privilege. That case isn't as clear cut as some, but I don't like the way he has challenged you about it. Up to now, I've seen him (during this term, in that group) be more sensitive to gender issues than many male members. Sort of OT, but it just occurred to me OhioJoe hasn't been around. He's an awesome ally for women.

[seabeyond]

29. me too. lol intj. practical and pragmatic. nt

[historylovr]

31. It's been a pretty sickening few days around here, hasn't it.

[BainsBane]

32. Yes, but it does expose how profoundly

misogynistic many are. I wish I could say it is just a handful of defenders, but the jury verdicts demonstrate they can call feminists (at least me) any vile names they want with impunity.

[historylovr]

33. But don't they couch it in such noble terms?

They have no idea how pathetically transparent they are either. It's clear there are more than a few who think the same way, that's true. And very disturbing. Who needs Republicans to treat us like second class citizens when we have our very own guys doing it?Misogyny knows no political barriers, sadly.

[BainsBane]

34. but we're the right wingers

authoritarian and seeking to "control women's bodies"