Ignorant & Unafraid
Words carry weight. No one in this movement can dispute this. Imagine my surprise, then, when a couple of weeks ago I encountered a maddening status update from a noted ally in the movement. The gist of it: he called Anne Coulter an “ignorant slut.” This is the same man, who months prior, referred to Cecilia Muñoz as a “fucking bitch.” Do I understand his horribly misdirected anger? Sure. Both women oppress others in their own, equally horrendous ways, but with so much to complain about each of them, why rely on misogynistic language that degrades and demeans not just these two people as women, but all women? Thankfully, a woman named Carolyn Quetzal Vera responded to his rant, saying: “Why do you have to call her a slut? You cannot build a movement for liberation by degrading women. That is an insult against any woman with a strong opinion and you crossed the line. This means that the only women who aren’t ‘sluts’ to you are the ones you agree with. You need to check yourself, bad. I don’t agree with her either, but I recognize sexist misogynistic comments when I see them.”
The esteemed ally, family man, and activist does not apologize. Does not check his male privilege. Does not shut the fuck up. He says Anne Coulter does not play nicely, implying that he doesn’t have to either. He says he’s not going to stay inside his “line” because “it’s been a line drawn by them.” But really, if a woman is sincerely telling you that you’ve crossed a line and offended her, don’t you think you should rethink what transpired and perhaps apologize? A few awkward and angry exchanges later, he writes, “No, I’m agreeing with you, I’m VERY misogynistic. No apologizes here, and no stopping.”
When I step into the conversation, echoing what Vera has said, he responds by saying I’m the only feminist that has “earned the right” to check him and that he now considers himself “checked.”
1. I don’t have to earn shit and neither does any woman who steps up to you over your misogyny.
2. You should have checked yourself the moment a woman from your movement told you your language was degrading and offensive.
3. This is just one example that illustrates a much larger problem.
Do you remember that Dreamers Adrift video where Jesús Iñiguez’s character uses the word “faggots” and when Julio Salgado’s character calls him out on it, they get into an uncomfortable back and forth with Jesús actually defending his ignorance rather than apologizing for it? That’s not a good look, but it’s one that so many cultivate. Julio essentially tells Jesús that if you’re for social justice issues, your support should be across the board.
Immigrant rights, LGBT rights, and women’s rights are all under the human rights umbrella and if you’re fighting for one, you may choose not to actively fight for the others, but you do have to be mindful, respectful, and understanding of others. You have to understand how these movements intersect. You have to be respectful of the diverse population you are working with and you better believe that when someone calls you out on an issue they perceive to be problematic and damaging, you have to be willing to suck it up, be humble, apologize, draw parallels between your own behavior and the behavior of those you’re fighting against, and work to understand why what you did was hurtful, insensitive and simply put, really uncool. In other words, make the connection. Be introspective. Be a goddamn human being about it.
http://dreamersadrift.com/featured1/ignorant-unafraid
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i saved some articles i liked late at night. i was going thru them to see what i wanted to post. meh... thought this one appropriate. lol
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