HoF Thread: Rape play is NOT rape. *trigger warning*

[Tuesday Afternoon]

to fantasize about ravishment and to play a game with a trusted lover is one thing =
It is a Game that has nothing to do with what is Real Rape which is a very Violent Act in which the victim has no control. Instead the victim experiences fear, pain and, horror.

When a woman fantasizes about a rape she is in total control of the fantasy which is the exact opposite of what happens in RAPE.
A game, a simulation, a hint of danger, a touch of spice, a little imagination.
The Woman in the scenario of Rape Play decides who, when, how, what is said and done.

That is NOTHING like rape.
It is just a game people (consenting adults) play.
In fact it is the Exact Opposite of Rape.

Rape is brutal and forced and the victim has no control. It is a physical assault and battery and is NOT sex no matter that genitalia as well as other body parts may be involved.

Herewith is the DoJ's legal definition of Rape =

Department of Justice
Office of Public Affairs
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Friday, January 6, 2012
Attorney General Eric Holder Announces Revisions to the Uniform Crime Report’s Definition of Rape
Data Reported on Rape Will Better Reflect State Criminal Codes, Victim Experiences

Attorney General Eric Holder today announced revisions to the Uniform Crime Report’s (UCR) definition of rape, which will lead to a more comprehensive statistical reporting of rape nationwide. The new definition is more inclusive, better reflects state criminal codes and focuses on the various forms of sexual penetration understood to be rape. The new definition of rape is: “The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” The definition is used by the FBI to collect information from local law enforcement agencies about reported rapes.

“Rape is a devastating crime and we can’t solve it unless we know the full extent of it,” said Vice President Biden, a leader in the effort to end violence against women for over 20 years and author of the landmark Violence Against Women Act. “This long-awaited change to the definition of rape is a victory for women and men across the country whose suffering has gone unaccounted for over 80 years.”

“These long overdue updates to the definition of rape will help ensure justice for those whose lives have been devastated by sexual violence and reflect the Department of Justice’s commitment to standing with rape victims,” Attorney General Holder said. “This new, more inclusive definition will provide us with a more accurate understanding of the scope and volume of these crimes.”

“The FBI’s Criminal Justice Information Services (CJIS) Advisory Policy Board recently recommended the adoption of a revised definition of rape within the Summary Reporting System of the Uniform Crime Reporting Program,” said David Cuthbertson, FBI Assistant Director, CJIS Division. “This definitional change was recently approved by FBI Director Robert S. Mueller. This change will give law enforcement the ability to report more complete rape offense data, as the new definition reflects the vast majority of state rape statutes. As we implement this change, the FBI is confident that the number of victims of this heinous crime will be more accurately reflected in national crime statistics.” >snip

more at link: http://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/2012/January/12-ag-018.html



Herewith is the most current info I could find regarding Rape Play (Trigger Warning)=

This series will discuss rape play and associated topics that may be problematic for some. The intent of this series is not to upset but rather educate and empower.

Disclaimer:
Much of this is based on my opinion and my experience. There are a few areas where I have drawn from vanilla sources and I will cite those to differentiate between my opinion and more studied conclusions.

Within kink there are types of play that involve varying levels of negotiated and consensual resistance. Those types of play can be described by the umbrella term “Consensual Non-Consent”. That term is sometimes used to mean Rape Play but I challenge that rape play can be a form of consensual non-consent, but that there are other types of consensual non-consent which may not be rape play, for example interrogation scenes.

Rape play involves the bottom resisting the top’s assertion of control and sexual advances and the top taking that control. This is done within a pre-negotiated framework that enables both the top and the bottom to express their desires, limitations, and motivations. Nothing in that definition specified gender identity, sexual orientation, or physical ability because none of those attributes restrict participation in rape play. Rape play is about someone taking power and someone losing power, within a controlled and negotiated scene.>snip

more at link (advise to survivors EXTREME TRIGGER WARNING)
http://www.frozenmeursault.com/introduction-to-rape-play/

in summation I conclude that =

*Rape PLAY is to Willingly Submit*

whereas

*RAPE is to have submission FORCED*

now then, whatever One Thinks About Rape Play and Those Who Engage It is Another Discussion. But, I thought I would make this an OP for anyone who was having difficulty understanding the difference. This was a reply in another thread in GD with the same basic Subject line.

[Squinch]

1. No one here objects to consensual sexual acts, and there is a contingent for whom that is no fun.

Because no one here objects to consensual sexual acts, that contingent for whom it is no fun can't keep trolling about "prudery" and "puritans" without looking stupid. Also, it is clear that those who have been called "prudes" are actually arguing against rape and enslavement, which normal people find unacceptable.

So the new strategy is to try and blur the semantic lines between sex and rape, including using such phrases as "rape play." They jumble up concepts like "rape" and "play" until someone says something against an act of rape or enslavement, at which they pounce and say, "Aha! You are against rape play! You ARE a prude and a puritan!!@22"

All of which is their own problem. It's very sad, actually.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

2. Yes. and it is why I thought it would be good to have an OP in HoF.

Also, the discussion of Rape Porn has been overlapped into all this and further muddies the waters.

[Squinch]

3. I agree. I am guessing you wouldn't be able to get very far with this concept outside of a

safe haven before someone did the "prude pointing" thing.

I wish those "prude-pointers" would get some help with reading comprehension or something.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. again I agree = I think reading comprehension or the lack of has contributed to a lot of the

dissension and ill will on this website regarding these and other various subjects along this line.

[ismnotwasm]

5. No it isn't

Wish there was a better term for it.

I know women-- AND men, fantasize about this, but I think it's more a "it's totally not my fault I'm getting laid" sexual release. Or a complete submission.

Whatever it is-- it's not rape. Did someone bring up that tired stat about rape fantasies again? Interview men. Women aren't the only ones with this particular fantasy.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

7. it is a thread in GD with the almost exact same Subject Line. I don't know if you have the

DUer on ignore you will not see it. This was my reply in that thread in GD with a little modification and trigger warnings.

In there you will see that the word ravishment is bandied about as more PC term for the role playing phenomenon.

[ismnotwasm]

9. Oh I trashed that thread the minute I saw it

It was, in my opinion flame bait and will not end well.

And also IMO

[Tuesday Afternoon]

11. yes, I was hesitant but, finally decided that subject matter needed clarification.

Motives of original OP notwithstanding.

[ismnotwasm]

12. Maybe I'll untrash it

Take a peak

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. might be worth the time if only to see how we can "educate" the sincerely interested in how

this interacts into society. thanks, ism.

[ismnotwasm]

16. Too late I was out of the house for a while

Came back and it was locked.

[Kali]

6. even though much of the crap posted on various subjects is just out and out trolling,

posting real info (even though tiring and not really "your" job) can be helpful to lurking readers who don't get involved in the "discussion" that happens.

thanks for taking the time to post and for all of the women here who continue to deal with the bullshit.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. thanks, Kali.

*sigh*

yeah, Teacher is not really my role in life but, sometimes I just can't take the *bullshit* anymore.

[mercuryblues]

10. it stems

from willful ignorance to accept the commonly held definitions. There are 2 different types of rape porn. One some people have no problem with, the other is reprehensible. The problem is, when either type is posted on the internet there is no real way to differentiate between the 2. The people who are into rape porn have to accept the fact that some of what they have viewed and will view are depictions of real rape or resort to redefining rape and porn to sooth their conscience. I find the later to be the preferred method. I guess it beats having to do some self reflection when you know the end result would not be that flattering.

It sucks when reality creeps into their well protected world, but too fucking bad. You can't say a jelly donut isn't really a donut because it has jelly in the middle where a hole should be. It is a donut, just a different type.

Calling a consensual sexual act rape play/fantasies is an attempt to diminish rape and blurs the lines. I am reminded of the questions like "is it really rape when the woman is passed out and I am also drunk" It is done often enough, I sometimes wonder if that is the intent. They will do and say anything to justify their behavior. Then calling you a prude or whatever if you point out the facts that they have to selectively ignore to continue their self-deception.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

13. and now we Are throwing Rape Porn into the mix ...

and while Yes There is Overlap and room for discussion about the similarities and differences it is another Subject on its own merit.

I have considered doing a separate thread on Rape Porn depending on how this thread evolves.

Thank you for the comments.

[mercuryblues]

17. the same

OP that started the rape "play" thread also has a rape porn thread. I think the objective is to get everyone to agree that since rape "play" is agreed on as acceptable, by default rape porn is ok. They refuse to acknowledge that rape porn includes real rapes and has real victims. IE Porn depicting actual rapes is not porn, it is an illegal act.

Pretty much like saying a jelly donut isn't really a donut because there is no hole in the middle.
They are locked out of one thread and has abandoned the other, so I suspect soon enough Op will start a new one.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. Oh yes I totally agree with you on what is

Happening with this poster. And what this poster is saying over at Discussionist is uncalled for.

[ismnotwasm]

15. You articulated that perfectly

If you go to "rape porn" websites, they're very ugly. I suspect most of men and women with such fantasies aren't into it.

And I get real tired of people pretending men don't have theses type of fantasies.

I have a whole theory behind them, having to do with sexual shame, and a need to someone else to take control to bypass shame, but actual more a group of thoughts than a theory.