BLOOMBERG ENRAGES TRUMP BY BUYING GREENLAND

[Zorro]

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In an apparently successful attempt to get under the skin of Donald Trump, former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg has purchased Greenland from Denmark.

In an official statement released on Tuesday, the Prime Minister of Denmark, Mette Frederiksen, would not disclose the price that Bloomberg paid for Greenland but indicated that it was an “all-cash offer.” “Mr. Bloomberg has a lot of money,” Frederiksen added.

News of Bloomberg’s purchase of Greenland reportedly infuriated Trump, who immediately ordered his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, to make an offer to buy the Faroe Islands from Denmark. Within minutes, however, Denmark rebuffed Kushner’s bid. “We do not believe Donald Trump is capable of running the Faroe Islands,” Frederiksen said.

As for Bloomberg, his campaign released a brief statement about the historic purchase of the 836,330-square-mile landmass, saying only, “Mike gets it done.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/bloomberg-enrages-trump-by-buying-greenland

[Gothmog]

1. i love good satire

[DemocracyMouse]

14. I have both satire AND Bloomberg fatique.

[Mike 03]

2. ...

[Kaleva]

3. Lol!

[customerserviceguy]

4. That did make me laugh

but at the heart of it is my belief that if the election comes down to a pissing match between two egotistical NYC billionaires who have had an on-again, off-again relationship over the years, we're the ones who are going to get the trickle-down.

There's an old African proverb that says, "When elephants fight, it is the grass that suffers."

[carlvsam]

6. Unfortunately...

The grass is on fire, and there is a lava flow approaching that will destroy everything.

Now which should I be more concerned about - the elephants, or the fire & lava?

[Canoe52]

11. Good point!

[Green Line]

16. I think there's only 1 NYC billionaire

[mitch96]

5. It would be GREAT if he said he would put up a "Bloomberg" hotel on the island... LOL... nt

[spin]

7. We do live in a good time for satire. (n/t)

[tblue37]

8. That headline made me LOL! nt

[MasonDreams]

9. LOL

[Dem2theMax]

10. Oh, how I want drumpf to see this.

He's so stupid, he'd believe it's true. Would it be horrible of me to say that I think this would work better than the KFC?

[nobuddy]

12. Ha

[SunSeeker]

13. LOL

[left-of-center2012]

15. Love it

[Joinfortmill]

17. ROFL

[highplainsdem]

18. LOL!

[Under The Radar]

19. Greenbloomland!