August 26, 2016

PENCE RECAPTURED AFTER FLEEING TRUMP CAMPAIGN BUS

VIRGINIA (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “scary moment” and a “close call,” Donald Trump’s campaign officials confirmed that they had recaptured Mike Pence after the Indiana governor attempted to flee the campaign bus in the early hours of Friday morning.

According to the campaign, Pence had asked to stop at a McDonald’s in rural Virginia so that he could use the bathroom, but aides grew concerned when the governor failed to reappear after twenty minutes.

After determining that Pence had given them the slip, Trump staffers fanned out across the Virginia backcountry, where the governor was believed to have fled.

News that Pence had vanished touched off a panic in Indiana, where residents feared that he might return to resume his political career.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/pence-recaptured-after-fleeing-trump-campaign-bus

August 26, 2016

California Votes to Cut Greenhouse Gases 40 Percent By 2030

Building on top of some of the strictest existing environmental laws in the nation, the legislature of California has voted to implement a measure to cut greenhouse gases in the state a further 40 percent beyond the current target by the year 2030.

The state currently is on track to meet its current goal, which seeks to reduce emissions that can hold in heat to 1990 levels by the year 2020. The new bill, approved by the state Senate on Wednesday, would lower greenhouse gases a further 40 percent below that in the following decade. A linked bill in the state Assembly was approved several hours earlier; Governor Jerry Brown has stated that he will sign both bills when they land on his desk.

"It's about the world in which we live becoming decarbonized and sustainable," Brown said during a press conference, according to Reuters. "These regulations will work to achieve that goal."

The bills will give the state legislature additional control over the California Air Resources Board, which, among other duties, sets emissions limits for vehicles sold in the state. In spite of being a state agency, it exerts a national influence; 11 other states have chosen to abide by CARB’s aggressive pollution controls, and the agency has been known to work with the federal government’s Environmental Protection Agency and Department of Transportation on fuel economy and greenhouse gas standards.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/california-votes-cut-greenhouse-gases-201500896.html

August 26, 2016

Thousands march over dissolved Ecuador teacher union

Thousands of demonstrators marched in Quito and other Ecuadoran cities Thursday against the socialist government of Rafael Correa and its dissolution of a public teachers' guild.

Labor union members and teachers turned out in Quito, Guayaquil and Cuenca to denounce the Ministry of Education dissolving the National Union of Educators (UNE), which was created in 1950.

The ministry opted to break up the union, which says it has 100,000 teachers, for failing to register itself since 2013, in violation of regulations.

Teachers marched under the slogan "The UNE lives, Correa goes away," and carried posters that read "No more dismissals of union leaders, no more persecution of teachers."

https://www.yahoo.com/news/thousands-march-over-dissolved-ecuador-teacher-union-081053458.html

August 26, 2016

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.

The announcement, which was issued by millions of the candidate’s staunchest proponents across the country, emphasized that if widespread condemnations of Trump’s temperament, denouncements of his racially charged rhetoric, and technical critiques of his sweeping immigration plan were going to sway their opinion, it would have happened already.

“You can keep writing editorials, running ads, and arguing with us at the dinner table or online, but honestly, at this point, it won’t make a bit of difference,” said diehard Trump supporter Bryan Gallagher, 66, who remarked that it had been “a complete waste of time” when 50 top GOP foreign policy experts published an open letter earlier this month suggesting a Trump presidency would gravely endanger national security, noting that he and everyone else who currently backs Trump is “in it for the long haul.” “You really have no chance of winning us over. You could bring out every living four-star general and have them list all the ways Trump would harm our country’s well-being, and we still wouldn’t budge.”

“Do you really think you’re going to come up with some new criticism of his policies or his preparedness that will finally make us reconsider our votes?” Gallagher continued. “Please, you should all just save yourself the effort.”

http://www.theonion.com/article/diehard-trump-voters-confirm-rest-nation-should-st-53585

August 26, 2016

REPUBLICANS TO PULL MONEY FROM TRUMP ADS AND SPEND IT ON ALCOHOL

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it “the best use of our resources at this time,” the Republican National Committee has decided to pull money originally earmarked for Trump campaign ads and spend it on alcohol instead.

According to the R.N.C. chairman, Reince Priebus, the decision to reallocate the funds from television advertising to alcoholic beverages came after a careful review of the polling in crucial battleground states.

“With about seventy days to go until the election, we had to consider what was the optimal way for us to get through those seventy days,” he said. “We are confident that we have found that way.”

“The decision was unanimous,” he added.

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/republicans-to-pull-money-from-trump-ads-and-spend-it-on-alcohol

August 25, 2016

Miners' protest in Bolivia becomes deadly

Source: Reuters

At least one person was killed and dozens injured in Bolivia on Thursday (August 24) after miners and riot police exchanged sticks of dynamite and tear gas during a protest to demand better work conditions.

The National Federation of Mining Cooperatives of Bolivia (FENCOMIN), once strong allies of President Evo Morales, has decided to embark on an indefinite protest after negotiations overmining legislation failed.

The FENCOMIN slammed the latest killing, blaming it on heavy-handed authorities. It is the second death since the upsurge in violent protests.

But police have denied accusations of being rough-handed with protesters, saying miners are exchanging rifles to stir up violence.

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/news/miners-protest-bolivia-becomes-deadly-104915597.html

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"Exchanged sticks of dynamite?" Think I'll stay far away from any Bolivian miner protests.

August 25, 2016

Santa Monica council votes to close the city's airport by July 2018

For decades, residents living around Santa Monica Municipal Airport have complained about the roar of aircraft and worried that some day a Piper Cub or Gulf Stream will come crashing into their living room.

The Santa Monica City Council first voted to shut down the airport in 1981. That effort stalled before takeoff, but on Tuesday, Santa Monica’s elected officials again pledged to close the historic facility that was once home to Douglas Aircraft Co. but is now the roost of several hundred propeller and jet aircraft, including those owned by celebrities such as actor Harrison Ford.

It won’t be easy, however, as the legal opposition from aviation interests and the federal government has not waned since that first attempt 35 years ago.

Today, pilots take off and land more than 300 times a day from the general aviation airport, just a few hundred feet from homes in some areas.

http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-airport-measure-20160824-snap-story.html

August 24, 2016

Trump wavers on pledge to deport 11 million immigrants in U.S. illegally

Source: LA Times

Donald Trump backed away Tuesday from his pledge to deport 11 million immigrants in the country illegally.

It was a dramatic shift for the Republican presidential nominee, whose vow to crack down on illegal immigration has been a pillar of his candidacy.

Trump's reversal highlighted the difficulty he faces in trying to broaden his appeal without turning off his most fervent supporters.

His statements came in response to a Fox News question on whether he would adjust immigration laws to “accommodate those people that contribute to society, have been law abiding, have kids here.”

Read more: http://www.latimes.com/nation/politics/trailguide/la-na-trailguide-updates-trump-wavers-on-pledge-to-deport-11-1472004583-htmlstory.html

August 24, 2016

Venezuela interior minister lashes out at U.S. over cocaine charges

Venezuela's interior minister and former boss of the country's anti-narcotics agency, General Nestor Reverol, hit back on Monday at accusations by a U.S. federal court that he abetted cocaine trafficking.

Earlier this month, U.S. prosecutors announced an indictment charging that from 2008 to 2010, Reverol and another official took payments to alert traffickers over raids, hinder investigations and arrange the release of suspects, cash and drugs. He called the accusations "unfounded."

"I reject them categorically in all their parts," Reverol, 51, said at a news conference at the anti-narcotics agency he used to lead in Caracas.

"They want to use it as a political weapon," Reverol said, flanked by General Edylberto Molina, his former deputy and until recently Venezuela's defense attache in Germany. Molina was also named in the Brooklyn court indictment and sat stony faced in a gray suit during the conference, without speaking.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/venezuela-interior-minister-lashes-u-over-cocaine-charges-175851704.html

August 24, 2016

OAS chief says no democracy, rule of law in Venezuela

The head of the Organization of American States denounced corruption and violence in Venezuela, saying a 14-year prison term for an opposition leader there marked the end of democracy in the country.

In an eight-page letter to opposition leader Leopoldo Lopez, Luis Almagro highlighted the climate of "intimidation" against the political opposition in Venezuela and those working to recall leftist President Nicolas Maduro.

"No regional or subregional forum can ignore the reality that today in Venezuela there is no democracy or rule of law," Almagro said, calling Lopez a "friend."

"Under no circumstances should power be used... to prevent the sovereign will of the people from being expressed."

https://www.yahoo.com/news/oas-chief-says-no-democracy-rule-law-venezuela-024457986.html