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Member since: 2002
Number of posts: 28,784

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DU: a guide for the perplexed

Four truths:

1. the "well-known sock puppet" is not necessarily well known.

2. the month-long feud with someone is not necessarily known or understood by others

3. "You know who you are" means the month long (or however long) feud continues.

4. Sarcasm or self-righteous anger is never a replacement for stating facts.

Four levels of being on DU:

1. newbie who may be a troll, or may not

2. know half the dirt, don't know how much of it is true

3. know the other half of the dirt, don't know how much of it is true

4. don't know but if you bring up the dirt I'm gonna ask about it

Principle of Adequateness

It is not adequate to create a post in which someone attempts to publicly shame someone else but then refuses to explain what in the hell is going on.

It is not adequate to blame others for responding to such a post with requests for explanations or to claim such a post is not calling out someone.

It IS adequate to consider if a post about a private matter should be posted in a public forum.

It IS adequate to understand that human nature is such that, if someone creates such a post, the creator recognizes he or she is no longer discussing a private matter.

In order to accurately perceive the world, one should recognize these principles.

Convergent vs. Divergent Problems

Problems discussed in H&M should be considered convergent problems, in that everyone on this board may read and reply.

Problems discussed in protected forums should be considered divergent problems, in that particular people with a specified interest will be more likely to read that post.

Word Problems

The use of words such as "shame," "how dare you," "no remorse," "you know who you are," "that's rich, coming from you," are NEVER words used to heal a group problem. EVER. This is basic psychology. You will rarely find people who are willing to be publicly shamed, ridiculed or taunted who are willing to find anything worthwhile in what you say - even if those people are not the objects of those problem words.

The Faulkner Factor

"Don't bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself."

(heh, I bet you thought I was gonna say, in relation to DU, "The past is never dead. It's not even past." yeah, that too.)

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