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kpete

kpete's Journal
kpete's Journal
January 9, 2020

Trump Furious at Iran for Distracting People from Impeachment for Only Two Days

By Andy Borowitz


When I did that drone strike, I was under the impression that it would knock impeachment out of the news for at least a month,” a visibly enraged Trump said. “Instead, it’s Wednesday and we’re back to this Pelosi garbage.”

Trump said that he had hoped that Iranians would react to his provocation in a way that might have forced Democrats to forget about impeaching him altogether, but “all I got for my trouble was a chickenshit couple of days.”

“Honestly, Iran reacted like it was Belgium or something,” Trump said.

Trump said that he was unlikely to attack Iran again “if this is the thanks I get,” and wondered if attacking a different country might have resulted in a more substantial distraction from his impeachment.


More:
https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-furious-at-iran-for-distracting-people-from-impeachment-for-only-two-days?utm_brand=tny&utm_medium=social&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=twitter&mbid=social_twitter

January 8, 2020

Stephen King offers $75,000 for White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham to do her job

Bestselling novelist Don Winslow decided to take matters into his own hands — and offered a bounty for Grisham to do her job in a public letter posted on Twitter on Wednesday.

Dear @PressSec,

It has been 301 days since The White House held a press briefing.

I will donate $75,000 to @StJude in your name if you will hold a one hour press conference *this week* with the full White House Press Corps.

What are you afraid of Stephanie?

Best,
Don Winslow


Fellow renowned author Stephen King offered to double the bounty to sweeten the deal.

https://twitter.com/StephenKing/status/1214961954168672256
https://www.rawstory.com/2020/01/stephen-king-offers-75000-for-white-house-press-secretary-stephanie-grisham-to-do-her-job/
January 8, 2020

Fox's Sean Hannity opens his show saying of Iran: "They're gonna get hit hard."


“Their three major refineries could soon go up in flames.”

“We can report six B-52 bombers are on their way to the region.”

This could all be bluster. Or not.

https://twitter.com/michaelcrowley/status/1214731665781743616
https://twitter.com/John_Hudson/status/1214734053494214657
January 7, 2020

Hi. My name is Mike Pompeo.

I’m okay with committing war crimes bc I have my head so far up Trump’s ass, which means I’m fluent in bullshit.

https://twitter.com/ida_skibenes/status/1214569784836337670
https://talkingpointsmemo.com/news/pompeo-imminent-threat-iran-soleimani

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