or get an older dog.

i had my baby for three and a half years (she came to me when she was ten.) i'm heartbroken over losing her but she was so wonderful i wouldn't trade that short time i spent with her for anything. our time together just wasn't long enough.

i had a border collie/corgi mix

she was amazingly wonderful, kind to children and other animals, so dearly loved. she didn't have to be entertained all the time and she didn't herd us. and she never nipped. we found her at a shelter when she was 11 months old.

i recently lost my little lhasa apso and am still grieving over her. she came to me from a shelter when she was ten years old. now she herded us, especially toward the kitchen! i had so many nicknames for her, but one of them was "my little shadow."

(i was just crying and carrying on when i came across this thread--had to respond.)

wonderful video

i'm crying (i knew if i clicked on this link there would be something to trigger my emotions but i couldn't help myself)

and when we lose them it is devastating.

about ten days ago i was walking through a pet cemetery as my little friend, my little sweetie, was being cremated and through my tears and sorrow there was one thing that was so blatantly crystal clear to me and that is how much they are loved. there was so much love in that cemetery it was incredible. i wandered around, looking at the headstones, reading the epitaphs, seeing the pictures on the stones. and my heart was breaking for missing my little girl, and for the hundreds of friends and companions around me who had brought others so much love and happiness in their lifetimes.

so much love. and so much sadness when they go.

sounds like your mom is home and giving you little signs

my mom died three and a half years ago and i can't count all the signs she has given me in this house we lived in together. she didn't die at home but home is where the heart is. (lights turning off and on, flashing; knocking, her perfume smell, popcorn smell, literally hearing her say my name, etc.)

but i get a lot of signs from her outside the house as well--not so frequently anymore but the first few years it was amazing. i'd ask her for a sign or tell her to give me one and i'd find a car with her name or one of her nicknames on their license plate in front of me! songs on the radio, finding little items like pennies (although it wasn't pennies or money) that we had a running joke about for years.

talk to her. let her know you're picking up on these things.

it sounds like she plans on staying regardless of whether or not you sell the house. it's still pretty recent and if she loved the house then why leave?

i lost my little friend

a month and a half after my mom died we had to put our beloved dog to sleep. it was devastating. i was alone for a month and a half after that--i was the ghost in the house, void of life, void of everything except anguish and grief.

then a friend of mine brought over a little ten year old dog she had found at a shelter. the people had gotten rid of her because they were having a baby. my friend was worried about me. she didn't want me to be alone, with no focus other than my sadness. she thought another dog would help me get through my grief.

i couldn't make the decision to keep this little dog or not. and then weeks and then months went by--she just stayed. and we bonded. and slowly i was able to start feeling again, and when that finally happened i began to love her. and i must have thanked her a thousand times for being my little friend, my little shadow.

she was my focus. my reason for going home, sometimes hurrying home--have to let her out, have to feed her, have to give her some company, don't want to leave her alone too long, have to walk her.

she listened to me crying, listened to me talking to myself (to my mom), and she was always by my side as i grieved for my mother and our other dog. she put up with my emotional distance and slowly we grew closer.

my focus. my sweet little friend.

and one day she decided not to eat breakfast. and decided not to eat anymore. or drink.
trips to the vet. blood tests. x-rays. everything was normal. nothing was wrong. except i was now force feeding her baby food and she was getting weaker. and weaker.

it was as if, one day she decided it was her time to go. and i prolonged it for a week. and then, shortly after bringing her home from a trip to the vet, she just... died.

my little friend, who gave me a reason to get up, come home, get my head together a little bit, my little friend who needed me to take care of her but not nearly as much as i needed her.

and i'm heartbroken.
there is no comfort--no food, no alcohol, no place to go to find relief.
she was my day-to-day for the last three years and five months.
i hate good-byes so much! even though i believe they are not permanent, the time between now and later is way too long. they feel permanent enough for now and it's almost unbearable.

she's been gone just over a week. the day after she died i had to ice my eyes for three hours to get the swelling down before i could go to work. it's better now--i'm not crying myself into distortion anymore. but it's bad.

i remember a couple friends thought a ten year old dog coming to live with me in my time of grief was a terrible idea. but i am so grateful that she was a part of my life--i loved her so much--it was all worth it. i just miss her so much, all the time.

thank you and yes...i know...but still it is little comfort to me

i want her back in the NOW
i just want her back...
don't know what the fuck i'm going to do without her...
there has been so much sadness in my family for the last three and a half years--i'm so ...? i don't know. tired i guess. tired of saying goodbye.

my little doll baby died today. i am heartbroken.

i'm very sorry for your loss

how sad that a funeral service (and the bereaved) has to accommodate a pastor when it should be the other way around

the death of a loved one is an extremely high stressor. take it easy.

i found the bereavement group here after my mom passed and for the last few years it has been a place i have been able to express my grief and thoughts. and i have been so thankful for such a place to do that.

both of my parents loved to rename foods

it's like they thought they were inventing a whole new language

ba-lan-joes (bananas)
gorilla cheese (grilled cheese)
yeggerts (eggs)
ass-per-gas (asparagus)
boo-tree (butter)
ba-log-na (bologna)
maulk (milk--that was my baby word)

i'm sure there were more but it's all i can think of offhand

that video was lovely. i'm sure your mom appreciates every moment you worked on

putting it together.
this is my fourth mother's day since my mom passed and my heart is still broken.
it's the first year since she passed that i went out and bought her a card; i realized it was important to me to still acknowledge mother's day with something tangible.

adapting to being without someone we have been with for so long can be very difficult and challenging. but we keep them in our thoughts and in our hearts and that is how we keep them near.

take care.