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Snarkoleptic

Snarkoleptic's Journal
Snarkoleptic's Journal
December 14, 2016

Propublica.org has a handy guide to the cabinet of deplorables.

As President-elect Donald Trump picks his top officials, we’re laying out the best accountability reporting on each.

It's set up like tarot cards, click the photo to see the dope on each one of these gems.
https://www.propublica.org/article/the-chosen-who-trump-is-putting-in-power
December 14, 2016

"Donald Trump Is Gonna Get Us Killed" -Michael Moore

Facebook rant...

Donald Trump Is Gonna Get Us Killed
by Michael Moore

A week has gone by since Donald Trump admitted he's only been to "two or three" of his daily presidential national security briefings. There have been 36 of them since the day he secured enough electoral college votes to be appointed president next Monday when the Electoral College meets.

Most would agree the #1 job of the leader of any country is to keep its people safe. There is no more important meeting every day for the President than the one where he learns what the day's potential threats are to the country. That Trump would find it too cumbersome or too annoying to have to sit through 20 minutes of listening to his top intelligence people tell him who's trying to kill us today, simply boggles the mind.

Of course, our minds have been so boggled so many times in the past year by this foolish man no one seems that surprised or concerned. He can get up at 5 in the morning and send angry, childish tweets about how he's being portrayed on SNL ("Not funny! Unwatchable!&quot , or belittling the local elected union leader in Indiana, but he doesn't have time to hear about the threats to our national security.

So, my fellow Americans, when the next terrorist attack happens -- and it will happen, we all know that -- and after the tragedy is over, amidst the death and destruction that might have been prevented, you will see Donald Trump acting quickly to blame everyone but himself. He will suspend constitutional rights. He will round up anyone he deems a threat. He will declare war, and his Republican Congress will back him.

And no one will remember that he wasn't paying attention to the growing threat. Wasn't attending the daily national security briefings. Was playing golf instead or meeting with celebrities or staying up til 3am tweeting about how unfair CNN is. He said he didn't need to be briefed. "You know, I think I'm smart. I don't need to hear the same thing over and over each day for eight years." That's what he told Fox News on December 11th when asked why he wasn't attending the security briefings. Don't forget that date and his hubris as we bury the dead next year.

We had a president like him before. He, too, lost the popular vote, a majority of Americans saying they didn't want him in the Oval Office. But his governor/brother and his ex-CIA chief/dad's appointees to the Supreme Court put an end to that, and he was installed as Commander-in-Chief. On August 6, 2001, he was on a month-long vacation at his ranch in Texas. That morning, the White House Counsel handed him his daily national security briefing. He glanced at it, set it aside and then went fishing for the rest of the day. Below is the photo of that moment which I showed the world in "Fahrenheit 9/11". The headline on the security briefing reads: BIN LADEN DETERMINED TO STRIKE INSIDE U.S. On the top page it tells how bin Laden will do this: with planes. George W. Bush didn't leave the ranch to go back to work for the next four weeks. In the fifth week, bin Laden attacked the US with planes on September 11th.

It's one thing to have a president who was asleep at the wheel. But, my friends, it's a whole other thing to now have a president-elect who REFUSES TO EVEN GET BEHIND THE WHEEL! This utter neglect of duty, a daily snub at the people who work to protect us, the first Commander-in-Chief to literally be AWOL and announcing proudly he isn't going to change -- this, I assure you, is going to get a lot of innocent people killed.

To you, Mr. Trump, I say this: When this next terrorist attack takes place, it is YOU who will be charged by the American people with a gross dereliction of duty. It was YOUR job to pay attention, to protect the country. But you were too busy tweeting and defending Putin and appointing cabinet members to dismantle the government. You didn't have time for the daily national security briefing. Don't think we're going to let you use a modern-day burning of the Reichstag as your excuse to eliminate our civil liberties and our democracy.

We will remember that while the plot to kill Americans was being hatched, your time was consumed by whom you saw as the real threat to America: Alec Baldwin in a wig.


Image- Bush, shrugging off the "Bin Laden determined to strike..." PDB.
December 14, 2016

All of Donald Trumps known conflicts of interest in one place.

The MSM blind spot is yuuuge!

http://www.vox.com/2016/12/9/13799904/trump-corruption-conflict-of-interest

Trump’s business empire touches at least 18 countries, presenting leaders around the globe with a tempting avenue to win favor with the next president and Trump with a way to use the power of the presidency to help his businesses.

What these investments are, though, isn’t always clear. Since brand licensing is such a big part of Trump’s business, it’s obvious when he’s lent the Trump name to real estate developments in other countries. Trump himself hasn’t been transparent about what all of his international holdings entail. A week after the election, for example, Trump dissolved four of his companies named after the Saudi Arabian city of Jeddah, but the Trump Organization’s general counsel didn’t elaborate on why those corporations were created in the first place.

There’s no guarantee of a quid-pro-quo between foreign governments and the new Trump administration. Smoothing the path for a Trump-branded property abroad or booking a room at a Trump hotel might not mean Trump will do anything in return. But the mere possibility has ensured that governments will try — as they already are. And as long as they do, Trump will profit off that hope.
December 12, 2016

The 2016 Haters Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog (lolz & sarcasm alert)

https://adequateman.deadspin.com/the-2016-hater-s-guide-to-the-williams-sonoma-catalog-1789529261

(Item-by-item skewering at the link)

I was on the Jersey Turnpike when I saw it. I was driving my family to New York for Thanksgiving and there, along the shittiest stretch of road in the shittiest state in America, I saw the Williams-Sonoma fulfillment center: a vast hangar that seemed to stretch a mile long, with shipping containers lined up along the side, like piglets feeding on a series of artisanal teats. It was located in a town called Cranbury because of course it fucking was. It made me wonder if Williams-Sonoma chose the town of Cranbury specifically for the whimsy of it, or if they CREATED the town and christened it Cranbury just so that it could match their mission statement of bringing holiday cheer and $75 baskets of glazed figs to the world.

And I won’t lie, it was kind of nice to see the fulfillment center, to see just where the (imported, dry-aged Portuguese) sausage (with white wine and fennel) is made. This has not been a pleasant year. Everyone good died. America is now a bad sitcom flash forward episode. And I got a camera up my dick. So it was nice to see all those trucks lined up in Cranbury, each one getting its marching orders to drive out to some pristine house on some pristine cul-de-sac in some pristine suburb. Call it Peppermintbarkville—a place that the rest of the world cannot touch, where even a nuclear holocaust could not intrude upon the bestowing of gold napkin rings and cheese assortments. Life as we know may end, but the Williams-Sonoma catalog, and the army of little Ina Gartens who have seemingly unlimited cash to spend on its wares, will endure. They shall adorn their houses in the finest garlands and pass around only the choicest amuse bouches, and everything will be PERFECT even as the world burns a mile away. OH, IT’LL BE SO GRAND THAT YOU’LL WANNA PUKE.

So come with me now. Let’s forget about our troubles, crack open this year’s W-S Christmas catalog, and lose ourselves in a tartan wonderland. Will there be mug toppers? Oh, you better fucking believe there will be mug toppers. To the catalog…

December 5, 2016

Donald Trump invents imaginary word "euphenism" to explain his lies about Carrier jobs

Dog help us, our next President is a functionally illiterate man-child!!

http://www.palmerreport.com/news/donald-trump-invents-imaginary-word-euphenism-to-explain-his-lies-about-carrier-jobs/388/

No, that’s not a typo in our headline. We’re not referring to euphemism, which is when you use a more polite word in place of a curse word. But after Donald Trump’s latest embarrassing outburst, we may need a few of those around here. Now that Carrier has announced it’s moving hundreds of jobs to Mexico almost immediately after Trump handed the company a massive tax break for keeping jobs in the U.S., Trump is trying to explain it away by insisting that his original claim was merely a “euphenism.” What the hell is that?

“But that was a euphenism,” said Donald Trump while trying to explain how the Carrier deal went so horribly wrong for him and for American workers and for the taxpayers who just footed the bill for his failed stunt. In the video below you can hear that he clearly said “euphenism,” an imaginary word we have to keep teaching to our spell checker. We checked with the Merriam Webster dictionary and confirmed that no such word exists.

Even if Trump was attempting to use the word euphemism, it still made no sense in the context in which he used it. He was trying to explain why his bold claims about saving Carrier jobs during the campaign and in recent days have turned out to be a grossly exaggerated claim (source: PolitiFact) that he knew he could never pull off. That’s not what a euphemism is at all. Most people would simply call it a broken promise or a lie. Watch Donald Trump make up the imaginary word “euphenism” in the very brief video below:

December 4, 2016

Fake news, real bullets: Suspect with rifle arrested at DC restaurant named in Pizzagate story

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/12/suspect-with-assault-rifle-arrested-at-dc-restaurant-named-online-in-fake-news-pizzagate-story/

Police arrested a gunman armed with an assault weapon at a Washington, D.C. restaurant named in a fake pro-Trump news story that spread online.

The Washington Post said no shots were fired and no one was injured at Comet Ping Pong, a Northwest Washington pizza restaurant with ping pong tables that are popular with families.

A phony online news story that circulated days before the Nov. 8 election said that Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and a top campaign aide were running a child sex ring out of the back room at Comet Ping Pong.

The story was one of many canards floated by pro-Trump propaganda mills. Not a word of it was true, but the restaurant’s employees and their families have been receiving death threats and other forms of harassment since the phony story circulated, which is known in right-wing conspiracy circles as “#Pizzagate.”
November 28, 2016

Yet another emboldened Trump supporter goes absolutely bonkers in public rant.

Racist White Woman Trump Rant in Chicago Store 11/24/16.
Cringeworthy raw video-

November 27, 2016

Patton Oswalt's chilling Facebook Rant

https://www.facebook.com/pattonoswalt/
Posted in it's entirety as it's just a rant on his FB page.

This is a long entry, sorry.

It's also WAY more emotional than factual, so feel free to shoot holes all through it. But be aware of how cognizant I was of its whimsical framework when I started writing.

So, sixteen days into the reality of Donald Trump being our President-elect, and I'm reading New Yorker and Jacobin and Slate and NY Times articles, trying to make sense of just what the fuck happened, and how the fuck do we go forward. The Democratic Party is in shards on the floor right now. I think we're going to have eight years of Trump and his clean-shaven looters scraping out the carcass of the country before fucking off and blaming it on progressives and lesbians and PC and rap music.

There's been a VERY disturbing spike, in my Twitter mentions and Facebook inbox and Facebook mentions from pro-Trump people. The spike itself isn't disturbing. I was regularly dinged by people on the other side of the cultural playground. I always figured, live and let live.

The disturbing part is how many of these people (when I check their Twitter or Facebook profiles) fancy themselves comedians. And the ones who insist they're comedians, that THEY'RE funny, all send messages which are the same variation of, "Your career is OVER. No one wants to hear YOUR kind of comedy anymore. You or ANY of your friends."

Over and over and over.

Fuck you, funnyman. It's OUR turn now.

So many alt-righters (or just people on the right) are failed or frustrated comedians. Just as so many far, far left wingers are. Comedy is too PC! It's not PC enough! It's racist! It shames white men! IT DOESN'T FIT TO MY STANDARDS, SO THEREFORE I MUST DESTROY IT!

Being funny isn't something everyone is born with, and even the ones born with it have to work and evolve and have humility while they do so. For the untalented but still entitled, there's a gut full of envy to carry around when they see other people getting laughs where they can't.

And then I flashed back to an essay I read by Clive James about the doomed polymath Egon Friedell, who committed suicide in Vienna the day of the Nazi Anchluss. Two SA men came to his apartment to arrest him. All over the city, Jews were being beaten in the street, businesses burned and looted. Egon was one of the leading lights in Viennese culture -- historian, philosopher, cabaret performer. Think of an Austrian Greg Proops. A Viennese Stephen Fry.

Egon threw himself from his window as the SA men battered down his door, screaming, "Watch out! Get out of the way!" to the pedestrians as he plummeted.

I think -- I'm guessing, I know -- that Egon sensed something even MORE sinister behind the Nazi uprising. Something fueled not by nationalism or racial pride but by bog-standard showbiz envy.

I'm going to let Clive James take over here -- he writes so much better and clearer than I ever will:

"Horrific evidence suggest that the Austrian Nazis, when their armbands were still in their pockets, put the café talk high on their long list of Jewish intellectual pursuits to be trampled out of existence when the great day came. The future firebrands and executioners had been listening in for years, probably inflamed as much by sincere disapproval as by thick-witted jealousy. After a single orgiastic day of violence in March 1938 there was no-one left who had anything to say worth hearing. Hugo Sperber, already worn out from too many years living on thin pickings, was thrown to the ground and kicked until he fell silent for good. Fritz Grunbaum, one of the stars of the "Simplicissimus" cabaret, was arrested within hours of the takeover, shipped to Dachau, and beaten to death. Whether in Austria or Germany, it has never been the fault of the Jews that they were so slow to realize the catch of the assimilationist ideal: the more indispensable to culture they became, the more they were resented. Hitler needed no telling that there were a lot of brilliant Jews from whom German-speaking culture had gained lustre. That was what he was afraid of: of a bacillus being called clever, and the phosphorescence of decay being hailed as illumination. For him, as for every racial hygienist, the whole thing was a medical problem, and the last thing he was likely to contemplate was that the medical problem might lie within himself. He didn't know he was sick. He thought he was well. Convinced racists think they are healthy: their conscience can't be appealed to, they have no better self that might repudiate the lesser one. And they bend all the powers of human reason to the unreasonable, without reservation. For the Jewish intelligentsia, cultivated to the fingertips, it was very hard to grasp the irrationality they were dealing with -- the irrationality counting down the hours until it could deal with them. Even in Auschwitz, some of the enslaved musicians must have thought that Schubert's writing for strings would melt Dr. Mengele's heart, as it had always melted theirs. And it did melt his heart. It just didn't change his mind. Similarly, there were probably crytpo-Nazi kibitzers who laughed at the running commentary of Hugo Sperber as he played cards. But that was exactly why they wanted him dead. They wanted THEIR jokes to be the funny ones, and they got their wish."

You catch that part about Hugo Sperber, holding an audience in the cafe?

(Listening in to Hugo Sperber's running commentary in the café while he played cards...flash forward 68 years...reading comedians Live Tweeting the debates. Chuckling, but full of envy at the likes and RTs)

All over Vienna during the Anchluss there's seemingly mindless, unorganized looting and attacks -- yet two SA men are SPECIFICALLY sent to Egon Friedell's apartment? Who sanctioned that? Someone gave specific orders. An envious, frustrated someone, I'm guessing. Someone who sat in the audience at one of his shows, entertained but resentful of the laughter surrounding them, in the wormy, jealous darkness.

I am terrified for what may or may not happen Saturday, January 21st.

Be safe, everyone.

Take care, comedians.

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