1. Win elections.


2. Fund Elections (even if this means turning Corporations into people).


3. Dissolve Unions to help the other party lose elections.


4. Reverse any change that will actually benefit the country, then blame the outcome on the other party.


5. Stifle rights and claim the other party is ‘big government’ to throw our voters off.


6. Pretend to care about “Family Values” to get votes and win elections.


7. Insinuate that the President is not American, and then claim we never said that.


8. Say “Socialism” as many times as possible to get the American public to believe it, when in reality it’s just a drinking game we created on behalf of Speaker Boehner.


9. Make sure people can only have health care if they can afford it.


10. Make sure people can only get married if they are heterosexual.


11. Make sure freedom of religion only applies to “Christianity”.


12. Make sure people can only have reproductive rights if they are male.


13. Tell people we are creating jobs when we are actually performing a “seek and destroy” mission so we can blame the current administration to win the next Presidential election.


14. Destroy the public sector so we can privatize and profit off of American citizens. All tax dollars will go directly into our pockets and the pockets of our corporate cronies instead of back into the American public system created by our founding fathers. (Including public schools.. Private Schools should receive tax payer funded dollars in the form of vouchers instead)


15. Tell people that for-profit health insurance companies have their best interest at heart even when they deny a cancer patient the proper care they need to survive. (There’s no profit in helping people) (There’s no profit in cures)


16. Tell average Americans that Wall Street is just like Main St. and they deserved to be bailed out.


17. Tell average Americans that billion dollar corporations deserve tax breaks because they will create jobs… (overseas).


18. Tell people that tax breaks for the wealthy will stimulate the economy… (even though they helped create the devastated economy because tax breaks aren’t free and it kept billions from being put back into the system that provided the wealthy the freedom to earn their wealth to begin with).


19. Burn all history books that show what got us into and out of the Great Depression in the late 1920?s and into the 1930?s and 40?s when the American dream started to thrive again…. we don’t want people to know the truth… they’ll never vote Republican again.


20. Grab Jesus as a candidate if and when he returns… even though it’s pretty certain he’s a Socialist, we don’t need to remind the American public of that. He was after all in favor of helping the poor, sick, and needy… and hung out with the least of these.



21. WIN ELECTIONS no matter what it takes!

1. Kennedy believed that rape victims who chose abortion are “hysterical.” In “Abortion: Myths and Realities,” Kennedy labels victims of rape who chose unsafe abortions when safer procedures are illegal “hysterical,” saying “We are told by some of the radical feminists that the women will become hysterical, that they will abort themselves with coat hanger.” Abortion rates are, in fact, higher in nations where the procedure is criminalized, and men describing women whose choices they disapprove of as “hysterical” has a storied sexist history.


2. Kennedy suggests rape victims can be responsible for being raped. In “Life: An Inalienable Right,” Kennedy expresses concern that rape victims who chose to get an abortion are occasionally responsible for their own rape, saying that “Even if they want to say the woman had some part in it—which in most cases they probably don’t—surely the baby did nothing wrong, so the only innocent party is killed and the rapist often goes free.” He doesn’t elaborate on how this might be true, but another Kennedy sermon says “the immodest woman is contributing to the lust of other people” by wearing revealing clothing.


3. Kennedy held that the Bible should set our laws about rape and abortion. Kennedy is very explicit on this point, saying “In the Bible, the child of rape was allowed to live and the rapist was put to death. Today, we find that the penalties against rape have become more and more lenient, whereas the child is now the subject of capital punishment. Justice has been totally destroyed and perverted in that the guilty are practically allowed to go free and the innocent are killed.” This fits with Kennedy’s general view that we should “rebuild America based on the Bible.”


4. Kennedy thought husbands should determine if their wives can have abortions. Though not specifically addressing rape, Kennedy approvingly cited a Roman prohibition on abortion motivated by the husbands should have control over women’s reproductive choice, saying “That newly created life is as much the husband’s as it is the wife’s. Historically, it is interesting to note that when the Roman Empire did away with laws that allowed abortion, it was done not because of the woman or the harm that abortions were doing to women (and indeed they do vastly more harm than most people are aware of), but because the husband was being defrauded of his progeny.” Interestingly, Akin has worried that criminalizing marital rape provides women “a legal weapon to beat up on the husband.”

Scenario 1: A white virgin female wearing modest clothing is returning to her home after her Wednesday Bible study class. She is accosted at knifepoint by a large, unkempt black man wearing an “Obama 2012” hat, who drags her into an alley and rapes her.

Determination: Legitimate rape. Her uterus shuts down immediately, expelling the rapist’s semen as she prays to God for forgiveness.



Scenario 2: At a party where alcoholic beverages are being consumed, a young woman passes out in a private bedroom. A man of the same age and race finds her and proceeds to have sexual relations as she sleeps peacefully.

Determination: Illegitimate rape. Because the woman’s own moral turpitude is entirely to blame for the situation she was placed in, her uterus is unable to resist her beau’s sperm. It is quite likely that God will bless her with a pregnancy.

“When George Herbert Walker Bush ran for president, he promised the American people he wouldn’t raise their taxes,” Norquist said this morning on “This Week.” “He lied to them. He broke his commitment to them and they threw him out of office four years later.”

‘Nominations for president and vice-president by major political parties are conducted at each party’s national convention. Immediately following the convention, each party must submit a certificate of nomination and list of electors to the secretary of state in order to place the nominees on the presidential general election ballot.

“Major political party” means a political party of which at least one nominee for president, vice president, United States senator, or a statewide office received at least five percent of the total vote cast at the last preceding state general election in an even-numbered year. A political party qualifying as a major political party under this section retains such status until the next even-year election at which a candidate of that party does not achieve at least five percent of the vote for one of the previously specified offices. If none of these offices appear on the ballot in an even-year general election, the major party retains its status as a major party through that election. However, a political party of which no nominee received at least ten percent of the total vote cast may forgo its status as a major political party by filing with the secretary of state an appropriate party rule within sixty days of attaining major party status under this section, or within fifteen days of June 10, 2004, whichever is later’.