Strip the Part-Time Congress of Employer Provided Health Insurance [Petition]

To: The U.S. House of Representatives

Strip Congress of Employer Provided Health Insurance and Other Benefits.

With 2013 figuring to be a pivotal year for our country in terms of determining the future course of our economy, how we deal with vexing social issues — and perhaps even more vexing whether you’re a Democrat or Republican, Chris Christie’s prospects for 2016 — it is crucial, as the public is reminded incessantly, that our lawmakers “roll up their sleeves and get to work on behalf of the American people”. As evidence of how seriously your leadership takes this awesome responsibility, the Majority Leader has scheduled you to be in session for excruciatingly exhausting 126 days during the coming year.

With spending cuts being the number one priority of the majority party of your body, it is understandable why the Leader might consider cutting people from full time down to part time in order to reduce costs. But as your salaries are unaffected by the reduced hours, that leaves only a reduction in benefits as the means by which this bold, visionary move will actually save the taxpayers any money.

Not that anyone begrudges you your government-run healthcare, but until a majority of the country’s other part time and underemployed workers are afforded such benefits (one way or another), aside from adding to the deficit your continued coverage would also set a precedent that may reflect negatively on the vaunted status you currently hold in the minds of either nine or twelve percent of the population (depending on your preferred pollster).

Of course, with all of you working only part time, you may wish to consider adding another 435 seats to your chamber, creating a sort of ‘job sharing’ program where two part timers do the work of one full timer and the boss – in this case we, the taxpayers – save on the benefits. [Better ingredients, better pizza.] But in your case, that would not only double labor costs, but also, down the road, it would lead to reduced wages and higher unemployment in the lobbying industry — so obviously that idea has even less chance of passage than this one.

Besides, with a starting base salary of $174,000 per year, you all should be able to afford private insurance which – as so many of you assure us – will be infinitely better for you and your families than your current government-run plan…

Sincerely,

[Your name]