March 19, 2022

An Open Letter to Marjorie Taylor Greene

Dear Ms. Greene:

I am writing to express my sympathy for the criticism you have received from the press for certain minor verbal gaffes (gazpacho for gestapo; commander and chief for commander in chief, etc.,etc. ) These errors in vocabulary are petty and negligent and in no way merit the abuse you have suffered.

While you are only a freshman in Congress, your skills are quite sophomoric. Clearly the Libtards lack appreciation for your fatuity and the enormity of your accomplishments. (And when it comes to COVID, your colossal nescience beats their trifling science, hands down!)

By way of encouragement, I am enclosing my check for 14 rubles to be used to refudiate these criticisms, to pay down your Congressional non-masking fines, or for any purpose you choose in fartherance of your goal of becoming one of America’s great bloviating harridans.

Regards,
A Georgia constituent

March 19, 2022

Open Letter to Marjorie Taylor Greene

Dear Ms. Greene:

I am writing to express my sympathy for the criticism you have received from the press for certain minor verbal gaffes (gazpacho for gestapo; commander and chief for commander in chief, etc.,etc. ) These errors in vocabulary are petty and negligent and in no way merit the abuse you have suffered.

While you are only a freshman in Congress, your skills are quite sophomoric. Clearly the Libtards lack appreciation for your fatuity and the enormity of your accomplishments. (And when it comes to COVID, your colossal nescience beats their trifling science, hands down!)

By way of encouragement, I am enclosing my check for 14 rubles to be used to refudiate these criticisms, to pay down your Congressional non-masking fines, or for any purpose you choose in fartherance of your goal of becoming one of America’s great bloviating harridans.

Regards,
A Georgia constituent

December 15, 2021

Anybody else gritting their teeth

at the confirmation bias and sheer lunacy coming from the "faithful" over the tornado tragedies? I just heart a pastor whose church was totally demolished say, in all seriousness, "God is in control."

November 5, 2021

Powell's funeral

I had a great deal of respect for Colin Powell. And the funeral, I suppose, was lovely. But in watching in I realized how comfortable I have become in the decades since I discarded religion. There is just something creepy now about even the best of religious ceremonies. They're still sad, but for unintended reasons. I feel badly for the folks who still cling to all that supernatural horse puckey.

October 31, 2021

Halloween: An Occasional Poem

Halloween is another holiday for children.
And when I had them—the children I mean,
And when they were young and exuberant
I had no love for it.
(Halloween, I mean, not the children or their exuberance.)
They were so obsessive, my kids!
Worrying about costumes as early as September,
Changing their minds and never caring about simplicity.
(In costumes, I mean. My children were simple enough.)
But I had told them they could be anything!
And I found I didn’t mean it.
Not, at least, at Halloween.
Because some costumes are harder than others.
Starfishes, say. Or monster trucks.
Things that require moving parts.
Or electricity.
I know I disappointed them.
(The children, not the starfishes or trucks)
Encouraging them to sublimate their dreams
In the interest of something cheap and easy,
Boxed. And available at Walmart.
But I didn’t like them so much back then.
Making the costumes, not the children.
But now that I’m old and all of that is over,
Well, not exactly over, because they call me on holidays,
(Not the costumes, but the children),
I find that I’m in just in love with it!
(The holiday, not the children, who I’ve always loved dearly)
Because Halloween now is something very different.
It’s an excuse to bring chocolate home from the grocery.
The day that your husband lets you dress the dogs in clothes,
The day that being old and scary yourself
Is really pretty cool.
I find that I have a lot more love for all of it now.
The dogs, of course.
And the holiday,
And the children.

August 13, 2021

So, did everyone survive

The day of Praying the Atheists away? I'm still here, and atheist AF.

November 7, 2020

Now is not the time to gloat.

To be ungracious. To flaunt our victory.

(SO fucking kidding!)

October 8, 2020

Debate inspires poetry

When questioned, the fly
Said, I don’t know why
I chose to stop when passing by.
But there’s this old man
With a milk white head
And a bleeding eye,
And he looked half dead,
So I thought I’d stop and take a rest,
Maybe have a chat, pest-to-pest.

Now here I am, a celebrity meme,
With a vaguely political carrion theme.
(Please leave pics on my Twitter feed. )

October 2, 2020

I have never wished any man dead, but

I have read some obituaries with great pleasure. -- Mark Twain.

September 29, 2020

Ahead of tonight's debate

Ahead of tonight's debate the family should probably brush up on CPR. Remember that popcorn can be a choking hazard and also that it's possible to die laughing. Pampers are discretionary but keep cleaning supplies handy for removing brain matter from ceilings and furniture. There's NO possibility we're going to get through this unscathed.