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nightscanner59

Profile Information

Name: Johnathan
Gender: Male
Hometown: do I have a home?
Home country: USA
Current location: San Franciso Bay Area
Member since: Sun Aug 15, 2010, 04:05 PM
Number of posts: 802

About Me

As a 16 y.o. runaway from extreme peer bullying and parental neglect; specifically after being \"outed\" in a redneck town, it was one fat, boisterous idiot of a preacher who instrumented the lynch mob who literally \"ran me out of town\". This was precisely the hateful crap he was stirring that caused incidental mob mentality that I know nearly a whole certain town is horrified to look back upon. Fred Phelps himself was invited, and drove all the way there to head up this riot. It was like something out of a horror flick: invited to a \"party in my honor\", that was quickly revealed to be a hatefest, with Fred Phelps himself at the helm. From the moment I walked in the door he lit into an in-my-face spitting litany of my evils with family and community members teasing and touting \"praise cheezus\" all around. I left with a whole crowd chasing me down the street. I only stayed home long enough that evening to pack a backpack and head out, never to return. This was after many other pronounced anti-gay incidents that were escalating in severity. I\'ve spent my whole life attempting to live down that moment. If I could sue every one of the idiots who took part in that dipshit scenario I would not hesitate for one second. Odd conflict with me is, being very, very lucky to have run across a gay pedophile (if you will, he had more genuine humanitarian interest in getting me off the street than playing with my pee-pee) who sheltered, fed and street-schooled me till I was nearly 18. December 2009 I was doored off my bicycle in what was highly suspected as an anti-gay crime. Reason being I kept having drive by \"Faggot\" yelled at my home, then the same spray painted on it, within a couple months of this happening. I cannot identify my attackers. It came unexpectedly, so suddenly, and I was too dazed only to realized I was being repeatedly kicked in the head. It took a sort of hypnosis and drug enhanced therapy to recall what I could at a University PTSD study I participated in: but during that EMDR-like sessions I realized that I had been kicked in the head something on the order of 100 times by my attackers, I could smell strong whiskey and they were laughing and making homophobic comments. I\'m a radiologic technologist with over 20 years experience in CT and Xray. Unfortunately I have limitations to my physical ability to perform my chosen profession, due to pinched nerves in my neck. Insurance companies have rejected me for all plans. I have taken what Xray assignments I can. I\'m fortunate not to have lost most of my cognitive abilities, but I\'m not who I was before this occurence, by any long shot. I can no longer ride a bicycle or a motorcycle due to chronic dizziness. I\'ve had dozens of chronic ear infections since. My right eye still has a partially detached retina. I\'ve been opiate free for 6 months now, but still have some days I have trouble with old fractures. I am documented TBI case now basically multiple post concussive syndrome. I still want to work, and live much like I did before this happened but it is very difficult. I have difficulty sometimes forming sentences verbally in proper syntax, and have to go kind of slowly at this. I refuse to become dependent on SSDI though, because I still don\'t really have a home. I sold the house there in Arizona, still have some ranch property in Radiator Springs! But this fucked up all my plans for building a home there. Its still a campout. I\'ve finally paid off over 10,000 dollars worth of debt this attack caused me. State of Arizona refused me victims of crime compensation. (R) bastards. I\'m living on the edge of homelessness still. Only a few places have been understanding of my limitations, however, which are not severe, but ever present. I\'m hoping to go back to one of the best jobs I\'ve had, but things aren\'t as lucrative for rad techs as they were years ago. Albeit my past is bitter, has made some mediocrity seem sweet ever since.

Journal Archives

Albeit only remotely connected to my LGBT status, I"m finally glad to leave the midwest.

I've been on a 6 month inteventional mission to my elderly parents self destructive wind-down. Got the worst problem placed in nursing home care, set up home care and meals on wheels for mom. I also considered this sort of a depraved sabbatical for myself after severe injuries sustained in a brutal mugging just over 4 years ago.
But frankly even going to a "red" area of california for work now has desirability over this. Between the load of hateful bumperstickers sighted daily, and Fox Noose delusional Zombies driving hundreds of monster pickemuptrucks complete with smokestacks to ensure as much carbon pollutant effluent into yet still relatively pristine air to drive one fat ass and one bag of groceries 30 miles round to work... cough, cough,... as the "one man, one woman" bumpersticker cuts a stinky self righteous fart on my "Love conquers hate" equality flag.
There still, but never see the ratio of this beyond that california border. Ever.
Yet I leave here with the most disturbing thought. That the likes of my mom exist in this area where the media pounds in all kinds of "drive your fucking cars to hell, burn more fuel in the name of X oil company's "good deeds" *coughing more*" but look at all those terrible faggots wrecking our way of life!!!!" televised brainwashing that still has her 87 year old brain convinced it is still post-WWII, and the repugs will save us all from tyranny. No amount of reality will soak her delusional soul, evidence from practically every major university and reliable institute of higher learning, even albeit a product of one, The oceans radical change in pH, nothing soaks because the box has her convinced to vote for the likes of Newt fuckwad Gingrich or whatever red one runs. I assure you the televisionus mesmerizing rays do not enter my own home, haven't since RayGun totally deleveled that playground, and never will in the unwilling and pervasive fashion it bombards and sickens me with on nearly a daily basis when intervening with my mom's problems.
Yet it stirs so much anger at the Kock brothers, and other 1 percenter's efforts to cause this. The number of misinformed, delusional or downright militant hoardes are just palpable here in a way that disturbs my dreams. Tomorrow I leave it behind me in my rear view mirror. Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. Namaste.
Posted by nightscanner59 | Wed Feb 12, 2014, 09:59 AM (2 replies)
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