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redstatebluegirl's Journal
redstatebluegirl's Journal
December 1, 2014

Has anyone found this to be true since President Obama was elected?

I am a white mid western girl transplanted to Oklahoma. I have been a diversity trainer, on the side, for almost 20 years. I openly admit that from time to time even I make what might be called cultural mistakes, but they are not made with anger, they are made due to ignorance of the feelings and life experience of others.

We were raised to respect all people, Mom would not tolerate injustice, always expected us to treat people as we would want to be treated.

The past 6 years since President Obama was elected, the serious racists have come out from under their rocks to attack all Black people. Disrespect abounds, no Black person is safe from their hatred and intolerance. What has been interesting to me is that I have found that Black friends of mine, many who I have had for years, some since undergrad, have become so angry with the system that they are looking at every white person with the same hatred, no exceptions.

I find I am afraid to talk with them about anything of substance for fear of offending them and have them accuse me of being intolerant. It really hurts me to lose some friends I have loved for so long. We have sat in my living and argued about tons of things, including race relations over the years, but still came away friends. I don't sense that is possible any longer and it makes me sad.

I taught a diversity class last week that came close to blows. It was a group who all work together and have for some time. According to their boss, the racial dynamics have been getting worse by the day for the past 6 years. I can tell you I have never led a group like that one. The minute I brought up white privilege the place was up for grabs, screaming and hollering at each other, talking, no screaming about Ferguson and Wilson being set up and treated unfairly. One young Black woman in the back of the room held her own in the "discussion" but it escalated to the point that one older Black lady asked if she could be excused because she was "fearful".

Once I got control again, we went on to other exercises but the room was full of tension. I suggested to the owner of the business that he may want to bring in a professional mediator to try and help the situation.

The divisions are worse than I have ever seen, I said a few years ago I felt a civil war was very possible and was pretty much shut down here on DU, how do you feel now? Have any of your opinions regarding race changed?

November 20, 2014

Does anyone have any thoughts about NIH and NSF funding with the Republicans in charge?

We aren't buying much this year and you can blame the Republicans for it. Since the anti science contingent won the Senate we are terrified my husband's NIH grant will not be renewed and his biomedical research will come to a screeching halt. It has been said that only research that is applicable to homeland security or the military will get funded, we hope that is a rumor, but it makes sense with the neocons in control. Without it, we do not have any summer salary, it will cost us a quarter of our income. We have heard all kinds of rumors, his NIH and NSF both are up for renewal in 2015.

The graduate students who work in his lab will not have a salary either. Not enough summer teaching next summer to make up for it. We are terrified, only spending what we have to. He is looking at some corporate and private support just in case, but it is like living on thin ice. He has written 4 grants in the last 6 months to various agencies, he works so hard, he worries about his students as much as worrying about us, I've never been so frightened.

I don't know why anyone would be an academic in a hard science these days. He loves teaching and he loves his research, he does lots of outreach to high schools but it is a challenge to pay the student loans and keep moving.

November 19, 2014

If you have had a fusion is it a given that you will have another one?

I had a fairly good outcome from my fusion of L5 S1 about 4 years ago. Yes I still have some pain, but I manage it with PT and meds. Going in I needed two canes to walk, now I don't need a cane most of the time, I know I am blessed.

Lately, I have been having more pain above the fusion, I was warned that this was possible at some point. I have spondilolithesis (sp) so I know the drill. But I am terrified of another fusion, even with the good outcome it did me in, forced me to quit a job I really liked and I don't want to go through it again.

Have any of you, had a second fusion? How long after the first one did you have the second? My husband flips out anytime I have a bad day saying "here we go, another fusion"....

Any experience you could share would be appreciated.

November 4, 2014

Saw something truly amazing this morning while voting.

I live in a VERY red state, Oklahoma, in a VERY red precinct. This morning while I was waiting to vote I overheard an elderly man ask an election judge how you "split the ticket". He went on to tell her he had always voted a straight republican ticket and had no idea how to vote otherwise. She explained to him how to go down the ballot and vote for each race individually. He smiled, took his ballot and was behind the little boxed in area for quite a while. He then came out with his walker and deposited his ballot in the machine.

I was done voting and followed him out. I asked him if I could ask a question and he said yes, I asked him why he was changing the way he voted and he told me he had "had enough", whatever that means. I can only hope he voted against Mary Fallin for governor and against the nut we have for a state representative, but I'll never know.

With all of my canvassing this year and now this, I have at least a glimmer of hope that things may change. If it can change in this area it can change anywhere.

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