talkingwithtrumpers
talkingwithtrumpers's JournalTalking to Trumpers: the woman dating a MAGA guy
More from my exchanges with Trumpers and how to get new ideas into GOPers, many of whom have authoritarian personalities and are brainwashed by rightwing media.
This story is about a woman who is dating a Trumper.
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A few days ago I was walking past a restaurant window where I could see Fox showing the president spewing his usual lies. (If I had been inside I would tell the owner to turn off Fox, but in this case I didn’t make a special trip in to do that.)
There had been a couple walking down the street in front of me. Guy had stopped to watch the TV, woman keeps walking in front of me and then stops in front of an ice cream store about a block down.
“Ugh”, I say. “Our criminal president, on TV again, just lying without challenge. Typical but unbelievable.”
She says “What? Yeah, I guess. You work in politics somehow?”
Me: “No, I’m just concerned about the state of the country. This is a bad time in America.”
Her: “Well, you know, I agree with you but I try not to get involved in politics.”
Me: “It’s important, though. Republicans want good people to stay silent. That’s why the right tries to shame people for talking about politics. If you think it’s important it’s our job to speak up... that’s why I’m wearing this (Impeach Trump) shirt.”
Her: “Yeah, but I don’t like to talk about politics.
You know, I’m dealing with this right now— my date over there is a Republican and I’m not.”
(What I could have said if I REALLY wanted to get her man angry— conservative men are obsessed with power and who’s taking who’s date, and think liberals are weak and not people who’d ask out ‘their women’: “If I weren’t married I’d love to take you out to dinner.” )
Me, instead: “It’s tough but you look like a nice person who deserves to be treated well. Why date someone who’s a racist — sorry, who knows full well what is going on and wants to support racists?”
Her: “You know, I’m old enough to know what’s good for me.”
Me: “Yeah, I’ve got plenty of male friends and have been in enough relationships myself to know, at my age— anyone who still supports this president in 2019 is not a good person. I think you know that too. And you deserve better than that. You know he’s not going to treat you well.”
I could see on her face that she knew that too. Of course she didn’t like hearing it, but she knew it.
Then I said goodbye and kept walking.
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Keys here: this is a woman who clearly knows what’s right and what’s wrong. She’s the kind of person that will most likely be reached by calm discussion, not with anger; but it’s always important to convey values and how much you care about them. What else is important to say in a discussion with a person like this?
- Don’t be silent. Your values matter. Don’t let conservatives tell you to avoid politics. Politics is people’s lives and those are important principles you should own.
- Think carefully about whether you want to be in a relationship with someone with bad values. (That’s not always the right thing to say at every time, but it was clear here that she was upset at him, so a little nudge from a stranger might be useful.)
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- This is one part of a series describing my often (but not always) successful efforts to discuss politics with Trumpers. Hope my experiences help others! Watch for more.
Talking to Trumpers: the Army guy (MAGA encounter)
More from my exchanges with Trumpers and how to get new ideas into GOPers, many of whom have authoritarian personalities and are brainwashed by rightwing media. This one is an Army guy.
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A few days ago, I was walking past a storefront that housed our local state GOP rep's office.
I saw a guy looking in. Not too tall, probably thirties, clean cut, stubble beard, pretty solid. Looked like he worked out. He was carrying a camo backpack.
I said to him: "Tough, right? These guys are hurting all of us".
He said:
"Heh. Well, you know, I'm a Trump supporter."
Me: "No, what?
The guy's a crook, you know. He's stealing our tax dollars. And every penny he's got, he got from his Dad.
He's a loser."
Him: "Well, you know, I'm in the military. Gotta have a Republican president."
Me: "Huh. Well, first, there's only two kinds of Republicans: billionaires, and suckers.
And second, he's making us less safe abroad. He's letting Europe get more dangerous."
"And let me tell you something". I shook my finger at him. "If he gets us into a war, YOU'RE gonna fight it."
Him: ......
I give him a little time and he just kind of looks at me. And then says "Yeah. Well, I like him".
Me: "Just remember. Fox and Limbaugh lie to you to get votes for billionaires. All they want to do is cut taxes on billionaires. You know who owns Fox, right? Rupert Murdoch got a $2 BILLION tax cut. He's laughing at guys like you".
Then I looked disgusted and walked away. He yelled something at me, but I forget exactly what. I said "I feel bad for you, sucker." and kept walking.
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Note for this series: there is no one-size-fits-all of persuasion. I'm a man, and many Republicans are authoritarian personality types and like Republicans because they are 'strong'. That's why Joe Biden's act played well to working class areas. It's why Peter Strzok's speech played well to working class areas. If you are a forceful personality or talking to someone you know can be persuaded by strong talk, follow my lead.
Also, I'm a psychologist, and I can tell you: this stuff WORKS. This guy left this encounter yelling at me. But I promise you - he's thinking about what I said. These exchanges change people's minds over time. But they will NEVER EVER EVER tell you that. They'll never say "You're right". That's the problem with most studies of persuasion styles - they only measure if people's minds change immediately. But these approaches do work.
Choose your own approach. Maybe this helps some people.
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- This is one part of a series describing my often (but not always) successful efforts to discuss politics with Trumpers. Hope my experiences help others! Watch for more.
Talking to Trumpers: The Reagan guy (MAGA encounter)
The other day I was walking down the street and saw someone with a "Reagan / Bush 1984" T-shirt on. Guy looked like he was about 30, black glasses, short, neat hair.
I said
"Excuse me"
"Excuse me, sir"
He stopped and looked at me.
Me: "Was it the 1984 campaign that Reagan kicked off by dogwhistling to racists at Neshoba County? Or was that 1980? ...
Oh, it was 1980!!!"
Him: Wheeled around and started walking away.
Me: "...Your party created this president by stoking racism for votes."
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I'm not sure anyone was converted here, but that isn't the point. A ton of Republicans like to wear such Reagan shirts and think the man was a good guy. It's important to reinforce to Republicans that their party's actions -- stoking racism, dogwhistling to racists, white identity politics -- helped create this president.
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- This is one part of a series describing my often (but not always) successful efforts to discuss politics with Trumpers. Hope my experiences help others! Watch for more.
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Member since: Tue Oct 30, 2018, 10:19 PMNumber of posts: 22
