Mass shootings don't just affect the victims or their families

Mass shootings affect the responders be they LEOs or medical personnel but now-a-days, there are therapists aplenty to help first-responders, victims and families deal with the aftermath. And always there's the ambulance chasers that follow.

Mass shootings being witnessed first hand can affect people for a lifetime with their sense of safety and security being destroyed in seconds or minutes. It can be traumatizing leading to changes in behavior like not wanting to be out in public or in large social gatherings or even jumping nervously at the sound of fireworks going off.

April 27th, 1979, San Antonio, Texas.

Broadway and Grayson streets north of downtown San Antonio, where the crowds and police escorts were gathered for the start of the annual Battle of Flowers Parade. The crowds lined up on the sidewalks and gutters with their coolers, lawn chairs and umbrellas. The SAPD officers gathered in the middle of the intersection chatting and talking amongst themselves while we all waited on Mayor Lila Cockrell to arrive in her convertible Cadillac. Some of the crowd found some shade from an RV parked in a tire shop parking lot next to Broadway.

It was a warm spring day. A bit hot in our band uniforms standing there on Grayson street maybe 20-30 yards from the collection of SAPD milling about in the middle of the intersection. We were formed up to follow the mayor and provide some rousing tunes. We brass players were to be the lead rows in our formation with the trombone section in the front row though we were admonished to make sure we slowed our gait so all the woodwinds in the back could keep up with us. My only sibling, my "little" brother (younger but taller!), played trombone and I played baritone/euphonium although we baritone players were given "bass trumpets" to use for "marching and parade season". Just another hot parade playing music to our hearts content showing off our talents and love of music while walking down the street behind the mayor's Caddie.

And then, reality went to hell in a handbasket as the "fireworks" went off. At least that was what I thought it was. We were being yelled at to get down for some reason. Then I saw an officer out in the middle of the intersection reach down to his right leg as the red stain spread on his blue trowsers just below the knee. I saw another officer laying down there, in the intersection. Then it dawned on me, what had just happened.

The carnage and nightmare of that afternoon had begun.

While we layed there watching from behind our instruments towards the intersection, I saw a man run from our side of Broadway across a 5 lane street and dive into some lawn chairs, right thru the shooters line of sight we would learn later. About a step or two behind the runner the asphalt of the street was popping up as the shooter trailed his next target with rounds that wound up following the guy into the lawnchairs.

Wasn't maybe 5mins and we were told to get up and come away from Broadway, jogging back a street or two to a small yard or field or parking lot. We talked and stared at each other as the director and parents took head counts. 20 or more minutes waiting on the buses to come get us...and then the tear gas started drifting thru and past us. But, we made it on the buses with maybe a few bruises to show for "all the excitement" and were driven back to school.

To this day, I'm somewhat grateful for the timing of the events that afternoon. Another 10 mins or so and our HS marching band would have started the parade ... right in front of that RV in the shooters line of sight. But then I still think of all those innocent people where the timing wasn't as good.

51 human beings were injured that day according to some reports. I remember it being 52. Two innocent human beings paid for the shade of that RV with their lives. Just to watch and enjoy a parade.

WWII vet Ira Attebury didn't like law enforcement and thought they were after him which is why he drove his RV around instead of living in one place. The PCP (or Angel Dust as it was known back then) certainly didn't help his mental state. But in the lead up to that day, he was able to acquire quite an arsenal of firearms including shotguns, semi-auto rifles and pistols, and lots of ammunition to feed his fear. Oh, and a couple of gas masks.

Coroner said Ira did himself in. PD claims they did him in after 30 mins plus of carnage, destruction and death flying thru the air at innocent men, women and children just wanting to watch a parade.

You can Google it and read the facts, figures and maybe even see a few pictures or TV reports.

I've never really talked about that day before writing this up, not even with my "little" brother. And certainly not with any sort of therapist type. I'm a MAN, with firearms and a veteran...who tears up at every single mass shooting, especially when children are involved. My first wife went into labor on another April 27th years later and gave birth to our firstborn the next day. HS sweetheart and fellow band member, but she was sick that day of the parade which I am grateful for every time I think about that day. Never talked about the parade with her.

I just prefer to stay away from big groups or gatherings like concerts and malls and big stores. I don't even go to the movies at theatres. While I miss the drive-in movies of my youth, I would NEVER want to go to one today. Don't even really care for big hospitals now.

After the change in TX law last year giving everybody the "right" to carry whatever firearm they want without any sort of training or licensing, I actually fear getting into a car or truck to go anywhere like the VA for appointments or the local Walmarts for all the savings on Chinese made products. And even having dozens of LEOs nearby doesn't give me a feeling of safety or security. It actually makes me want to avoid being near them.

Bullets flying around in our hospitals, stores, schools, theatres, streets and highways. It's not safe for innocents to live in the battlefield previously known as the United States of America.

At least not for me.

Do you feel safe and secure in America?