Things to look forward to in 2018 [View all]

[NanceGreggs]

While most of us are anticipating the inevitable downfall of Trump & Co – which will, in and of itself, be incredibly satisfying – I have to admit that beyond that, I am looking forward to hearing the Republicans’ excuses for why they elected him, supported him, and defended him.

I fully expect those excuses to include:

“He seemed like such a nice guy. There was nothing in his background that would have led us to believe he wasn’t honest, forthright, and experienced enough to lead a nation.”

“When he appointed completely incompetent people to positions of power, we had no idea this would be detrimental to the country.”

“We believed everything he said – and his history as a pathological liar never factored into the equation.”

“We never suspected that a man who had built his personal empire by cheating middle-class workers out of their pay would ever fuck middle-class workers via a TaxScam parading as tax reform.”

“We thought that calling KKK members and white supremacists ‘very fine people’ was representative of what America is all about.”

“We felt that a self-proclaimed ‘pussy-grabber’ was just one example of being ‘ordained by God’ to lead a nation into adhering to true Christian values.”

“We thought it would be understood that handing highly-classified information to the Russians in the Oval Office, praising Putin, and dismissing our own intelligence community’s assessment of Russian interference in our election as a ‘hoax’ was no cause for concern.”

“We honestly assumed that all of the lies told in an attempt to cover-up conspiring with a foreign enemy were of no consequence.”

“We never thought for a minute that a dumbass reality-show star would actually run the country like a dumbass reality-show star.”

“It never occurred to us that a well-known liar would be questioned about his constant lying.”

“We truly believed that a man who insulted our allies would be recognized as a world leader.”

“We thought that Trump encouraging divisiveness was a sure path to unifying the country.”

“We believed that accusing Obama of ‘spying on Trump’ – without any evidence whatsoever – was the sign of a true statesman.”

“We had NO IDEA that Trump putting his own inexperienced, know-nothing children in ‘advisory positions’ would result in foreign policy based on the opinions of inexperienced, know-nothing children.”

“It never crossed our minds that a man who insisted that his inauguration drew larger crowds than Obama’s – all evidence to the contrary – might be delusional.”

“We never suspected that a man whose lies are the stuff of legend wasn’t being truthful at all times.”

“We were confident that having a deranged, mentally incompetent POTUS was just what the country needed.”

The list of excuses from the GOP for having elected, supported and defended Trump will be exquisitely entertaining. And as someone who has never been into “reality shows”, I admit this is ONE show I can’t wait to watch.