The Aziz Ansari thing made me realize how I had no clue how to act on a date

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28. My parents taught me that a marriage was an equal partnership

So, from an early age, I recognized the whole “romance” mythology first as false, then as idiotic, and eventually as harmful.

How silly is the notion that a woman’s sole contribution to a relationship is to be pretty? How unrealistic that the man has to be a perfect prince swooping in to save the day? How stupid that the woman has to be in distress?

Etc.

Personally, I find my partner’s lust and interest in me to be by far the sexiest thing ever. Sure, I enjoy my own pleasure, like any man, but real men lose their wood the instant their partner stops enjoying it.

I mean really, what’s the point of sex if your partner isn’t into it? Virtually all men know how to masturbate, and should be content to do so if they’re the only one interested.

Oh and that “blue balls” thing is horsesh*t. Real men can stop at any point.