General Discussion

Hortensis

(58,785 posts)

43. MM does it for himself also, because that's how people

Tue Jan 23, 2018, 04:07 PM

Jan 2018

like him are. Pointedly clearing only half the driveway, well, I wouldn't want to let that woman's poor attitude lower me either.

We once had adjoining driveways with a cranky elderly man, mostly functional but with eternal grievances and anger problems that meant he had no friends and was permanently estranged from his only daughter. We never did anything about his occasional "acting out" against us for the crime of being his neighbors. Except explain the situation to the police a couple times when he tried to turn them on us for some imagined infringement.

Unlike MM, we never did much for him beyond smiling and waving, chatting whenever his mood swung that direction. But we also never put an end to the nonsense with a fence between our yards as he was using part of ours to make the tight turn in and out of his driveway at his age. We did indulge in fantasizing about it now and then though.

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Why Do Some Folks Feel Entitled to Stuff? Read This: [View all] MineralMan Jan 2018 OP

You are such a good man Fresh_Start Jan 2018 #1

THIS: tblue37 Jan 2018 #3

I do the snow removal out of my own sense of responsibility. MineralMan Jan 2018 #5

Most people are good and kind people. kstewart33 Jan 2018 #14

MM does it for himself also, because that's how people Hortensis Jan 2018 #43

How do they ban gardening? MissB Jan 2018 #53

Not quite. kstewart33 Jan 2018 #89

Ah. MissB Jan 2018 #112

"Changing climate?" How dare you repeat that Chinese hoax? The Preznint says it isn't happening tclambert Jan 2018 #166

If she complains again point out that it's time her teenage son start doing some chores for his mom. brush Jan 2018 #60

I understand the need to be who you are Fresh_Start Jan 2018 #88

Actually, I think it's out of a sense of entitlement. MineralMan Jan 2018 #91

I hate "entitled" as it reminds me of the rightwingers who use it so often. Doremus Jan 2018 #127

That sounds lazy. Raine1967 Jan 2018 #133

I think you owe it to her to let her know the truth RandomAccess Jan 2018 #99

Do not shovel her side next snowfall. Scarsdale Jan 2018 #162

The area I came from, if you shoveled your sidewalk Canoe52 Jan 2018 #138

Here, we're required by law to clear sidewalks within 24 hours MineralMan Jan 2018 #143

Interesting, personality Ive solved the problem Canoe52 Jan 2018 #150

I wish you wouldn'. Because she should learn a lesson from this and if you just let her go then she Maraya1969 Jan 2018 #148

You could be putting yourself at risk. She may be unstable. See accompanied article. politicaljunkie41910 Jan 2018 #154

I'd probably ask her if she realizes that you've been doing this just to be neighborly all this time hlthe2b Jan 2018 #2

I wondered the same thing. Does she rent and perhaps thinks this is an arrangement? salin Jan 2018 #157

Had it been me gratuitous Jan 2018 #4

I doubt that anything I said would make any difference. MineralMan Jan 2018 #7

After thinking about it for an hour or so gratuitous Jan 2018 #64

That would be me. I'd be completely unable to hide being gobsmacked. Pacifist Patriot Jan 2018 #100

i might have said "you're welcome" before shutting the door in her face, barbtries Jan 2018 #156

Could you perhaps offer to teach her teenager how to use a snowblower? haele Jan 2018 #6

Not my snowblower. No way. MineralMan Jan 2018 #10

Ahh - never had that problem. All my neighbors have always done handywork on the side. haele Jan 2018 #19

Theres more examples of it right there. Returned broken, didnt care to fix it! 7962 Jan 2018 #96

Next time it snows, don't clear her side, and when she comes over to complain, The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2018 #8

Do you live in Rand Paul's neighborhood? Freddie Jan 2018 #56

I would also feel like not clearing the snow in the future. ginnyinWI Jan 2018 #78

I realize you are being neighborly bluecollar2 Jan 2018 #9

Well, I'll probably continue to do what I have been doing. MineralMan Jan 2018 #13

Her sense of entitlement may be because she is being enabled or has been by others with good hearts. chowder66 Jan 2018 #28

I hear what you're saying. However, it's not my job to teach MineralMan Jan 2018 #35

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #63

I posted it because it pleased me to do so. MineralMan Jan 2018 #66

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #70

If you want an argument, you'll have to try someone else. MineralMan Jan 2018 #73

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #77

You're right. It isn't your job to teach. chowder66 Jan 2018 #142

Does she rent or own? salin Jan 2018 #161

She (and her lender) own the house. MineralMan Jan 2018 #163

Your a good guy and a good neighbor salin Jan 2018 #169

I also shovel my neighbors sidewalk as I'm shoveling mine blueinredohio Jan 2018 #11

Where I live, only about a third of the homeowners own MineralMan Jan 2018 #22

You're right. Shoveling is hard work and quite risky for the elderly. kstewart33 Jan 2018 #144

Good for your husband! MineralMan Jan 2018 #145

If I were you I would not do her driveway again until she enthusiastically consents. rzemanfl Jan 2018 #12

Ok, the "enthusiastic consent" comment made me chuckle trc Jan 2018 #18

You got a chuckle out of me too! True Dough Jan 2018 #59

That is strange! ExciteBike66 Jan 2018 #15

So, do you prefer your lawn mowed in any particular pattern? MineralMan Jan 2018 #24

Whatever pattern leaves all the clippings on my neighbor's lawn ExciteBike66 Jan 2018 #30

LOL! MineralMan Jan 2018 #47

Wow! spicysista Jan 2018 #16

You didn't mention how much she is paying you for that service. lagomorph777 Jan 2018 #17

Paying? What's that? MineralMan Jan 2018 #33

Care to hazard a guess at her political affiliation? lagomorph777 Jan 2018 #34

I don't believe she votes. MineralMan Jan 2018 #37

So "Selfish Lazy Party" lagomorph777 Jan 2018 #38

Yup. So it seems. MineralMan Jan 2018 #40

That's probably for the best, given her attitude. Salviati Jan 2018 #68

I'd bet she's apolitical. MineralMan Jan 2018 #45

If there is not a man present in your neighbor's home you may want to offer to teach her son to use your snowblower. nocalflea Jan 2018 #20

Not a chance. As I explained in another reply, MineralMan Jan 2018 #27

One good for you for doing the right thing as you see it. SQUEE Jan 2018 #21

Knowing me, as I do, I imagine that's what I'll do. MineralMan Jan 2018 #42

You are too nice. She is a relatively young woman with a young teenage son who can easily smirkymonkey Jan 2018 #23

really, next time, just this once, dont do it. mopinko Jan 2018 #25

That's not my style. MineralMan Jan 2018 #31

That's some neighbor you got there workinclasszero Jan 2018 #26

Sadly, we don't get to choose our neighbors. MineralMan Jan 2018 #49

I'd love it if you were my neighbor.. mountain grammy Jan 2018 #29

Yup. The elderly woman who lived on the other side of my MineralMan Jan 2018 #32

Is there anyway HipChick Jan 2018 #36

No, I couldn't do that, really. MineralMan Jan 2018 #39

Brats! Lots of them KT2000 Jan 2018 #41

I agree with you. It does seem to be a trend. MineralMan Jan 2018 #44

You should have seen this coming. Yavin4 Jan 2018 #46

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #48

I don't see it that way, really. MineralMan Jan 2018 #51

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #54

I posted because it was an interesting puzzle. MineralMan Jan 2018 #57

I used to do something similar for a neighbor when I lived in NH tymorial Jan 2018 #50

While not everyone in my neighborhood has a snowblower, MineralMan Jan 2018 #52

When we lived in Lincoln, NE I once shoveled--not used the snow blower--the sidewalk mnhtnbb Jan 2018 #55

Neighborhood relations are always interesting, I think. MineralMan Jan 2018 #61

Dear MM Tracer Jan 2018 #58

I understand. MineralMan Jan 2018 #65

We also have an electric "snow thrower" (also Toro) Tracer Jan 2018 #79

I would be tempted to aim the chute at her side of the driveway True Dough Jan 2018 #62

Your a hell of a neighbor BUT bluestarone Jan 2018 #67

Oh, no, she doesn't want to clean her own driveway. MineralMan Jan 2018 #71

maybe the problem is you hate it when she doesn't clean it(like i would hate it to) and bluestarone Jan 2018 #75

Could be. Still, I don't drive on her side of the driveway, MineralMan Jan 2018 #76

i do see your point but bluestarone Jan 2018 #82

After this most recent snowfall, 12"+ MineralMan Jan 2018 #86

What a rude and nasty thing for her to do. Vinca Jan 2018 #69

The House Next Door to Me Is For Sale Leith Jan 2018 #72

I'm seeing both arguments in this thread. MineralMan Jan 2018 #74

Virtue is its own reward. TNNurse Jan 2018 #85

So I was taught growing up. MineralMan Jan 2018 #87

That was clear in your post and responses. TNNurse Jan 2018 #93

You're very kind snowybirdie Jan 2018 #80

I heartily applaud your sense of neighbourhood and helping. BobTheSubgenius Jan 2018 #81

this world is full of assholes, some live right next door. spanone Jan 2018 #83

It's good that there are people like you around! Maeve Jan 2018 #84

Sounds like a nice neighborhood! MineralMan Jan 2018 #90

When people co-operate, life goes better Maeve Jan 2018 #92

I'd stop doing her a favor, if I were you, Mineral Man. Some people are ridiculous & ungrateful... Honeycombe8 Jan 2018 #94

That concerned me too. The same kind of person who would behave as MM's neighbor did would spooky3 Jan 2018 #126

Sense of entitlement is whats ruining the country. Replace "snow shoveling" with many other things. 7962 Jan 2018 #95

Chutzpah. Reminds me of the story in "Fiddler on the Roof" no_hypocrisy Jan 2018 #97

Thank you mgardener Jan 2018 #98

I'd stop snowblowing her property. Then when she gets tagged by the city for not shoveling geardaddy Jan 2018 #101

I think that next time it snows, Ilsa Jan 2018 #102

Well said Ilsa, Seems your response is the middle road I would take............ Old Vet Jan 2018 #171

You're a good neighbor. A long Ilsa Jan 2018 #172

Could it be she thinks you are being paid by the city to do it? Farmer-Rick Jan 2018 #103

Depending on how long you have been doing this NewJeffCT Jan 2018 #104

Probably best to not go with my first reaction. Jakes Progress Jan 2018 #105

It is a strange world. We rented a house for years that was next to another rental LisaM Jan 2018 #106

Do the right thing. Throck Jan 2018 #107

You sound like my husband Corgigal Jan 2018 #108

Do you have a homeowners association? Perhaps she is mistaken in thinking that you work for AtheistCrusader Jan 2018 #109

She sounds like a real piece of work Ohiogal Jan 2018 #110

You are a good man LittleGirl Jan 2018 #111

Snow blow it a little less each time and see how she reacts Javaman Jan 2018 #113

What you did says a lot about who you are. Marie Marie Jan 2018 #114

You are a good neighbor...it isn't 100%... SWBTATTReg Jan 2018 #115

You are such a sweet neighbor Dem_4_Life Jan 2018 #116

I hear this all the time Chakaconcarne Jan 2018 #117

My hat's off to you hueymahl Jan 2018 #118

Last winter, I downsized to a house far from my original home. Frustratedlady Jan 2018 #119

Folk's entitlement and lack of shame never ceases to amaze. kairos12 Jan 2018 #120

Here's the problem jberryhill Jan 2018 #121

Sadly, that thought occurred to me too. eom Tipperary Jan 2018 #122

You are a great guy...and she is a jerk. Demsrule86 Jan 2018 #123

This sounds like a DEAR PRUDENCE issue... brooklynite Jan 2018 #124

I do my driveway and my neighbors driveway with a shovel. LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #125

I wonder if she thinks she owns the driveway and you use it at her discretion. Shrike47 Jan 2018 #128

I'd go ahead and clear her side, but... Binkie The Clown Jan 2018 #129

You are very nice! mchill Jan 2018 #130

I used to shovel the neighbors sidewalk when I was a kid captain queeg Jan 2018 #131

Well brother that would have been the last time malaise Jan 2018 #132

You are very kind, MineralMan. madaboutharry Jan 2018 #134

I don't know her circumstances, either. MineralMan Jan 2018 #146

Wow. Your neighbor has brass gonads. 3catwoman3 Jan 2018 #135

The thing is... d_r Jan 2018 #136

Yes it is a strange world Gothmog Jan 2018 #137

You may be reinforcing her taking advantage of others too. Duppers Jan 2018 #139

Yuppers Duppers Bayard Jan 2018 #140

I am happy to be able to breathe the air that is before me nolabels Jan 2018 #141

Your neighbor is right, and so are you. gulliver Jan 2018 #147

The old catchphrase "taken for granted" looms large. raven mad Jan 2018 #149

That is a case of no good deed goes unpunished. CentralMass Jan 2018 #151

Give them an inch, they will take a mile thbobby Jan 2018 #152

Sounds like something's not adding up for her. Would it be possible to ask her how she's doing next diva77 Jan 2018 #153

you have eloquently explained why you do it. barbtries Jan 2018 #155

My husband would do the same... LakeArenal Jan 2018 #158

Expectations. They are set in place over time. NCTraveler Jan 2018 #159

There's no such association in my neighborhood. MineralMan Jan 2018 #160

Next snowfall.. disillusioned73 Jan 2018 #164

How does that old saying go packman Jan 2018 #165

I would quit doing it, period obamanut2012 Jan 2018 #167

You should callher out on it! Nothing wrong with that! VaBchTgerLily Jan 2018 #168

You should at least have offered to refund the money she gave you for shoveling. JustABozoOnThisBus Jan 2018 #170