General Discussion

Frustratedlady

(16,254 posts)

119. Last winter, I downsized to a house far from my original home.

Tue Jan 23, 2018, 05:56 PM

Jan 2018

My son-in-law told me he would maintain the yard and clear the walk/drive of snow. He did start mowing and cleared the first snow from the drive/walks. However, he had to get up early to beat whoever has been cleaning them first. If he isn't here early on, they get done and I have no idea who is doing them. The neighbors haven't seen them and I'm usually at the back of the house and don't see them until I happen to notice they have been done. I'd love to give them a gift certificate or bake some treats for them, but I have no recipient. It is a mystery, but a nice one.

I know what a job clearing snow can be and I commend you for doing so, but don't let yourself become a target of nastiness. She should be ashamed of herself for being rude to you and a bad example for her son.

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Why Do Some Folks Feel Entitled to Stuff? Read This: [View all] MineralMan Jan 2018 OP

You are such a good man Fresh_Start Jan 2018 #1

THIS: tblue37 Jan 2018 #3

I do the snow removal out of my own sense of responsibility. MineralMan Jan 2018 #5

Most people are good and kind people. kstewart33 Jan 2018 #14

MM does it for himself also, because that's how people Hortensis Jan 2018 #43

How do they ban gardening? MissB Jan 2018 #53

Not quite. kstewart33 Jan 2018 #89

Ah. MissB Jan 2018 #112

"Changing climate?" How dare you repeat that Chinese hoax? The Preznint says it isn't happening tclambert Jan 2018 #166

If she complains again point out that it's time her teenage son start doing some chores for his mom. brush Jan 2018 #60

I understand the need to be who you are Fresh_Start Jan 2018 #88

Actually, I think it's out of a sense of entitlement. MineralMan Jan 2018 #91

I hate "entitled" as it reminds me of the rightwingers who use it so often. Doremus Jan 2018 #127

That sounds lazy. Raine1967 Jan 2018 #133

I think you owe it to her to let her know the truth RandomAccess Jan 2018 #99

Do not shovel her side next snowfall. Scarsdale Jan 2018 #162

The area I came from, if you shoveled your sidewalk Canoe52 Jan 2018 #138

Here, we're required by law to clear sidewalks within 24 hours MineralMan Jan 2018 #143

Interesting, personality Ive solved the problem Canoe52 Jan 2018 #150

I wish you wouldn'. Because she should learn a lesson from this and if you just let her go then she Maraya1969 Jan 2018 #148

You could be putting yourself at risk. She may be unstable. See accompanied article. politicaljunkie41910 Jan 2018 #154

I'd probably ask her if she realizes that you've been doing this just to be neighborly all this time hlthe2b Jan 2018 #2

I wondered the same thing. Does she rent and perhaps thinks this is an arrangement? salin Jan 2018 #157

Had it been me gratuitous Jan 2018 #4

I doubt that anything I said would make any difference. MineralMan Jan 2018 #7

After thinking about it for an hour or so gratuitous Jan 2018 #64

That would be me. I'd be completely unable to hide being gobsmacked. Pacifist Patriot Jan 2018 #100

i might have said "you're welcome" before shutting the door in her face, barbtries Jan 2018 #156

Could you perhaps offer to teach her teenager how to use a snowblower? haele Jan 2018 #6

Not my snowblower. No way. MineralMan Jan 2018 #10

Ahh - never had that problem. All my neighbors have always done handywork on the side. haele Jan 2018 #19

Theres more examples of it right there. Returned broken, didnt care to fix it! 7962 Jan 2018 #96

Next time it snows, don't clear her side, and when she comes over to complain, The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2018 #8

Do you live in Rand Paul's neighborhood? Freddie Jan 2018 #56

I would also feel like not clearing the snow in the future. ginnyinWI Jan 2018 #78

I realize you are being neighborly bluecollar2 Jan 2018 #9

Well, I'll probably continue to do what I have been doing. MineralMan Jan 2018 #13

Her sense of entitlement may be because she is being enabled or has been by others with good hearts. chowder66 Jan 2018 #28

I hear what you're saying. However, it's not my job to teach MineralMan Jan 2018 #35

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #63

I posted it because it pleased me to do so. MineralMan Jan 2018 #66

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #70

If you want an argument, you'll have to try someone else. MineralMan Jan 2018 #73

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #77

You're right. It isn't your job to teach. chowder66 Jan 2018 #142

Does she rent or own? salin Jan 2018 #161

She (and her lender) own the house. MineralMan Jan 2018 #163

Your a good guy and a good neighbor salin Jan 2018 #169

I also shovel my neighbors sidewalk as I'm shoveling mine blueinredohio Jan 2018 #11

Where I live, only about a third of the homeowners own MineralMan Jan 2018 #22

You're right. Shoveling is hard work and quite risky for the elderly. kstewart33 Jan 2018 #144

Good for your husband! MineralMan Jan 2018 #145

If I were you I would not do her driveway again until she enthusiastically consents. rzemanfl Jan 2018 #12

Ok, the "enthusiastic consent" comment made me chuckle trc Jan 2018 #18

You got a chuckle out of me too! True Dough Jan 2018 #59

That is strange! ExciteBike66 Jan 2018 #15

So, do you prefer your lawn mowed in any particular pattern? MineralMan Jan 2018 #24

Whatever pattern leaves all the clippings on my neighbor's lawn ExciteBike66 Jan 2018 #30

LOL! MineralMan Jan 2018 #47

Wow! spicysista Jan 2018 #16

You didn't mention how much she is paying you for that service. lagomorph777 Jan 2018 #17

Paying? What's that? MineralMan Jan 2018 #33

Care to hazard a guess at her political affiliation? lagomorph777 Jan 2018 #34

I don't believe she votes. MineralMan Jan 2018 #37

So "Selfish Lazy Party" lagomorph777 Jan 2018 #38

Yup. So it seems. MineralMan Jan 2018 #40

That's probably for the best, given her attitude. Salviati Jan 2018 #68

I'd bet she's apolitical. MineralMan Jan 2018 #45

If there is not a man present in your neighbor's home you may want to offer to teach her son to use your snowblower. nocalflea Jan 2018 #20

Not a chance. As I explained in another reply, MineralMan Jan 2018 #27

One good for you for doing the right thing as you see it. SQUEE Jan 2018 #21

Knowing me, as I do, I imagine that's what I'll do. MineralMan Jan 2018 #42

You are too nice. She is a relatively young woman with a young teenage son who can easily smirkymonkey Jan 2018 #23

really, next time, just this once, dont do it. mopinko Jan 2018 #25

That's not my style. MineralMan Jan 2018 #31

That's some neighbor you got there workinclasszero Jan 2018 #26

Sadly, we don't get to choose our neighbors. MineralMan Jan 2018 #49

I'd love it if you were my neighbor.. mountain grammy Jan 2018 #29

Yup. The elderly woman who lived on the other side of my MineralMan Jan 2018 #32

Is there anyway HipChick Jan 2018 #36

No, I couldn't do that, really. MineralMan Jan 2018 #39

Brats! Lots of them KT2000 Jan 2018 #41

I agree with you. It does seem to be a trend. MineralMan Jan 2018 #44

You should have seen this coming. Yavin4 Jan 2018 #46

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #48

I don't see it that way, really. MineralMan Jan 2018 #51

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2018 #54

I posted because it was an interesting puzzle. MineralMan Jan 2018 #57

I used to do something similar for a neighbor when I lived in NH tymorial Jan 2018 #50

While not everyone in my neighborhood has a snowblower, MineralMan Jan 2018 #52

When we lived in Lincoln, NE I once shoveled--not used the snow blower--the sidewalk mnhtnbb Jan 2018 #55

Neighborhood relations are always interesting, I think. MineralMan Jan 2018 #61

Dear MM Tracer Jan 2018 #58

I understand. MineralMan Jan 2018 #65

We also have an electric "snow thrower" (also Toro) Tracer Jan 2018 #79

I would be tempted to aim the chute at her side of the driveway True Dough Jan 2018 #62

Your a hell of a neighbor BUT bluestarone Jan 2018 #67

Oh, no, she doesn't want to clean her own driveway. MineralMan Jan 2018 #71

maybe the problem is you hate it when she doesn't clean it(like i would hate it to) and bluestarone Jan 2018 #75

Could be. Still, I don't drive on her side of the driveway, MineralMan Jan 2018 #76

i do see your point but bluestarone Jan 2018 #82

After this most recent snowfall, 12"+ MineralMan Jan 2018 #86

What a rude and nasty thing for her to do. Vinca Jan 2018 #69

The House Next Door to Me Is For Sale Leith Jan 2018 #72

I'm seeing both arguments in this thread. MineralMan Jan 2018 #74

Virtue is its own reward. TNNurse Jan 2018 #85

So I was taught growing up. MineralMan Jan 2018 #87

That was clear in your post and responses. TNNurse Jan 2018 #93

You're very kind snowybirdie Jan 2018 #80

I heartily applaud your sense of neighbourhood and helping. BobTheSubgenius Jan 2018 #81

this world is full of assholes, some live right next door. spanone Jan 2018 #83

It's good that there are people like you around! Maeve Jan 2018 #84

Sounds like a nice neighborhood! MineralMan Jan 2018 #90

When people co-operate, life goes better Maeve Jan 2018 #92

I'd stop doing her a favor, if I were you, Mineral Man. Some people are ridiculous & ungrateful... Honeycombe8 Jan 2018 #94

That concerned me too. The same kind of person who would behave as MM's neighbor did would spooky3 Jan 2018 #126

Sense of entitlement is whats ruining the country. Replace "snow shoveling" with many other things. 7962 Jan 2018 #95

Chutzpah. Reminds me of the story in "Fiddler on the Roof" no_hypocrisy Jan 2018 #97

Thank you mgardener Jan 2018 #98

I'd stop snowblowing her property. Then when she gets tagged by the city for not shoveling geardaddy Jan 2018 #101

I think that next time it snows, Ilsa Jan 2018 #102

Well said Ilsa, Seems your response is the middle road I would take............ Old Vet Jan 2018 #171

You're a good neighbor. A long Ilsa Jan 2018 #172

Could it be she thinks you are being paid by the city to do it? Farmer-Rick Jan 2018 #103

Depending on how long you have been doing this NewJeffCT Jan 2018 #104

Probably best to not go with my first reaction. Jakes Progress Jan 2018 #105

It is a strange world. We rented a house for years that was next to another rental LisaM Jan 2018 #106

Do the right thing. Throck Jan 2018 #107

You sound like my husband Corgigal Jan 2018 #108

Do you have a homeowners association? Perhaps she is mistaken in thinking that you work for AtheistCrusader Jan 2018 #109

She sounds like a real piece of work Ohiogal Jan 2018 #110

You are a good man LittleGirl Jan 2018 #111

Snow blow it a little less each time and see how she reacts Javaman Jan 2018 #113

What you did says a lot about who you are. Marie Marie Jan 2018 #114

You are a good neighbor...it isn't 100%... SWBTATTReg Jan 2018 #115

You are such a sweet neighbor Dem_4_Life Jan 2018 #116

I hear this all the time Chakaconcarne Jan 2018 #117

My hat's off to you hueymahl Jan 2018 #118

Last winter, I downsized to a house far from my original home. Frustratedlady Jan 2018 #119

Folk's entitlement and lack of shame never ceases to amaze. kairos12 Jan 2018 #120

Here's the problem jberryhill Jan 2018 #121

Sadly, that thought occurred to me too. eom Tipperary Jan 2018 #122

You are a great guy...and she is a jerk. Demsrule86 Jan 2018 #123

This sounds like a DEAR PRUDENCE issue... brooklynite Jan 2018 #124

I do my driveway and my neighbors driveway with a shovel. LuckyCharms Jan 2018 #125

I wonder if she thinks she owns the driveway and you use it at her discretion. Shrike47 Jan 2018 #128

I'd go ahead and clear her side, but... Binkie The Clown Jan 2018 #129

You are very nice! mchill Jan 2018 #130

I used to shovel the neighbors sidewalk when I was a kid captain queeg Jan 2018 #131

Well brother that would have been the last time malaise Jan 2018 #132

You are very kind, MineralMan. madaboutharry Jan 2018 #134

I don't know her circumstances, either. MineralMan Jan 2018 #146

Wow. Your neighbor has brass gonads. 3catwoman3 Jan 2018 #135

The thing is... d_r Jan 2018 #136

Yes it is a strange world Gothmog Jan 2018 #137

You may be reinforcing her taking advantage of others too. Duppers Jan 2018 #139

Yuppers Duppers Bayard Jan 2018 #140

I am happy to be able to breathe the air that is before me nolabels Jan 2018 #141

Your neighbor is right, and so are you. gulliver Jan 2018 #147

The old catchphrase "taken for granted" looms large. raven mad Jan 2018 #149

That is a case of no good deed goes unpunished. CentralMass Jan 2018 #151

Give them an inch, they will take a mile thbobby Jan 2018 #152

Sounds like something's not adding up for her. Would it be possible to ask her how she's doing next diva77 Jan 2018 #153

you have eloquently explained why you do it. barbtries Jan 2018 #155

My husband would do the same... LakeArenal Jan 2018 #158

Expectations. They are set in place over time. NCTraveler Jan 2018 #159

There's no such association in my neighborhood. MineralMan Jan 2018 #160

Next snowfall.. disillusioned73 Jan 2018 #164

How does that old saying go packman Jan 2018 #165

I would quit doing it, period obamanut2012 Jan 2018 #167

You should callher out on it! Nothing wrong with that! VaBchTgerLily Jan 2018 #168

You should at least have offered to refund the money she gave you for shoveling. JustABozoOnThisBus Jan 2018 #170