Question for all the male members of DU

[k2qb3]

35. I'm going to answer in the spirit I think the question was asked...

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. I don't know why people betray trust from a position of authority, but it seems to happen a lot. I don't think it's confined to just men, as the constant stream of female teachers having inappropriate relations with students and any look at the predator registry will tell you. Father figures are particularly infuriating, speaking as a father. I do wonder if all the surrogate parenting we have is a factor.

Why do people suck? I dunno, but they often do. I don't think it's as simple as trauma or illness or sin. Maybe we don't have as much connection to each other as we should, or would in a more tribal setting where we're forced to live with the people we interact with, though tribal people seem to be just as awful to each other.

I think the sex with teens thing is a result of that being when we form our sexual identities, our first experiences or at least interests are usually teenagers. I'm tempted to say how badly people are aging these days has something to do with it, but it seems like it's always been an issue, and some people just seem to be wired wrong.

I think it's fair to take men to task for the preponderance of sex crimes they commit, although it has to be said the vast majority of us don't, and don't tolerate it in others either. We don't seem to acknowledge the sex crimes, often paternity fraud and entrapment, committed by women though, and we should. Different drives, different crimes, same problem.

Sex is a powerful drive, and can do powerful damage. You aren't alone in having been harmed by it. It's difficult not to harm yourself further by allowing it to influence your relationships with others. It's on the perpetrator, try to leave it there. Healthy relationships are worth it.