Father Of Shooter Asking For Privacy

[Ms. Toad]

87. You're correct.

I listen to people talk about adopting older children - and these children desperately need families. But the families need to go into it with their eyes open to the possibility that no matter what they do, their children may harm themselves or others. They may be buying into a lifetime of caregiving (when my parents die, I will inherit the caregiving rule for a sibling now in his 60s). I am not looking forward to that. Or they may end up with a delightful, mostly responsible, child who flourishes under their love - as my sister did.

The last time I had intimate contact with the adoption system, they were still promoting the "love cures all" mantra. That is not fair to either parents or children - a number of friends followed my parents' lead and adopted older children (rather than bringing additional children into an already overcrowded world). Some ended up trying to undo the adoptions because it was more than they could manage - and love doesn't cure everything.

But, of course, the person I'm chatting with is sure it does.