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Demsrule86

(71,523 posts)
95. I don't know. It just seems that by allowing him access to the gun, they were a part of it.
Fri Feb 16, 2018, 09:46 PM
Feb 2018

You are right the problem was he is allowed by law to purchase a gun...and of course Trump made it so mentally ill folks can buy guns with limited background checks. I would have kicked him out and called the police...tried to get him in hospital for 72 hours at least. Did this family have other kids? It seems like a terrible risk.

I have taken kids in. I tripped over them in various places...one girl I met in the mall who was starving was kicked out of her house by her mother because her stepfather hated the girl. She was 15. It is horrible for kids these days. Even my own daughter's friend in a nice area, you would not believe some of the things that went on. The girl was one of my successes; helped her get a job when she turned 16 and back in school (found a lawyer and her miserable excuse for parents had to pay the state child support for this girl)...eventually she went to college and met a young man...they have kids now. I still hear from her. But I had failures too. I still wonder if I could have done more in those cases. I speak from experience about monitoring social media. It is vital that you know what is going on with these kids. Sadly, the laws are not on our side. It is hard to get kids in for treatment for mental issues. And in a few weeks, this will be forgotten until the next time...heartbreaking

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The family who took him in. [View all] grantcart Feb 2018 OP
Sorry. He was troubled and had a gun. He should never have had a gun. Demsrule86 Feb 2018 #1
Who is arguing he should have had a gun? LanternWaste Feb 2018 #2
The family knew he had a gun and were ok with it. robbob Feb 2018 #39
They knew his mother let him have it, but they insisted it go in a locked box. pnwmom Feb 2018 #45
I wouldn't have allowed him in my house with a gun, even if it was locked up. politicaljunkie41910 Feb 2018 #54
I wouldn't have wanted a gun in my house either. But that's not the point. pnwmom Feb 2018 #94
They knew he was a risk...and I do blame them. He should not have had a gun...and Demsrule86 Feb 2018 #92
Did they monitor his social media? Almost all 19 year olds know a lot more about social media pnwmom Feb 2018 #93
I don't know. It just seems that by allowing him access to the gun, they were a part of it. Demsrule86 Feb 2018 #95
Good for you for trying! pnwmom Feb 2018 #97
I do try. I have had a number of kids live with me. I think it is a terrible thing that kids are Demsrule86 Feb 2018 #98
The family who took him in allowed him a gun and gave him a key to the gun lockbox. Demsrule86 Feb 2018 #91
Fair statement, but what does this have to do with the OP? Sailor65x1 Feb 2018 #8
I find the idea they didn't know he was violent questionable Egnever Feb 2018 #21
Hijacking the thread? You want to praise the people that did 'a good thing' and took him in...I Demsrule86 Feb 2018 #90
There were some pretty Old Testament pronouncements being laid at the father's feet. LanternWaste Feb 2018 #3
They didnt know about the machetes and hows he had threatened kids with them? bettyellen Feb 2018 #4
Likely not. B2G Feb 2018 #6
Without hearing about why he was kicked out of school? I think Id want to know. bettyellen Feb 2018 #9
Kids lie. B2G Feb 2018 #11
You think if they were taking him in heir home theyd take steps to find out. All the kids seemed to bettyellen Feb 2018 #12
What steps? pnwmom Feb 2018 #46
Finding out what it takes to get kicked out of that school, for starters... bettyellen Feb 2018 #65
The school couldn't tell them -- that's covered by privacy laws. The boy's parents weren't pnwmom Feb 2018 #69
Its easily googlable these days. He had lived with friends of the moms for a while- Im sure they bettyellen Feb 2018 #72
And they let him have a gun in his room in a lockbox, with him having the keys. LisaL Feb 2018 #106
At 19 he is an adult male. LisaL Feb 2018 #105
I don't want to put any blame on that family at this time mainstreetonce Feb 2018 #5
How would they know that? B2G Feb 2018 #7
If you let someone into your home with a gun, maybe make an effort to find out things about that LisaL Feb 2018 #108
How would they know about something that happened a year ago at school? School disciplinary matters pnwmom Feb 2018 #47
Yes, who could have anticipated that a depressed kid with a key to the gun cabinet meadowlander Feb 2018 #10
Precisely n/t gay texan Feb 2018 #17
It wasn't their gun cabinet. It was his. AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #29
Their house. hunter Feb 2018 #48
I assume they didn't fear him. AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #49
He's in their house. hunter Feb 2018 #58
No one cared enough about the many girls in that school that did fear him.... bettyellen Feb 2018 #68
There's no link between those two issues. AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #75
Id do my research on the kids history and ditch the guns as a condition of taking him in. bettyellen Feb 2018 #86
Then he'd be living somewhere else. Or on the streets. AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #87
It prevents me from endangering myself and family and not aiding a blossoming criminal. bettyellen Feb 2018 #89
A smarter compromise is that they lock the guns and allow their use on a bettyellen Feb 2018 #67
It's not an easy situation. AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #74
Then so be it: he's homeless. It's their jrthin Feb 2018 #76
Are you listening to yourself? AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #77
Yes I am. I will not let jrthin Feb 2018 #81
I'm an adoptive parent, but I will admit, the circumstances under which I adpoted were considerably AtheistCrusader Feb 2018 #83
I fully understand and appreciate your position. And jrthin Feb 2018 #84
The kid had the option of staying with the Moms friend. He wanted to call the shots and go elsewhere bettyellen Feb 2018 #85
"They're not social media people. They're parents." What the hell does that mean? Beaverhausen Feb 2018 #13
It's one thing to open your home to a stray kid. mainer Feb 2018 #14
Yet even knowing the facts sarisataka Feb 2018 #15
Ill wait until the dust settles first GWC58 Feb 2018 #18
They knew he was armed and mentally ill. They aided and abetted samir.g Feb 2018 #16
Your assertion that they knew he was "mentally ill" is fabricated. grantcart Feb 2018 #19
Do you like making stuff up? Kaleva Feb 2018 #23
"depressed" "troubled" ""had been dealing with mental health issues" "worried he was violent" samir.g Feb 2018 #24
I'm a certified Mental Health First Aider Kaleva Feb 2018 #43
False reasoning. You dont need a diaganosis to know a withdrawn and depressed kid and AK 15 are a bettyellen Feb 2018 #110
ANYBODY with an AR-15 is a bad idea. Kaleva Feb 2018 #111
And a depressed kid with an AK-15 is not who you rely on to make these decisions bettyellen Feb 2018 #112
No, we ought to be able to decide that the AR-15 isn't fit for anyone Kaleva Feb 2018 #113
You got that right. Its insane. bettyellen Feb 2018 #114
You are clueless. n.t USALiberal Feb 2018 #57
We absolutely do not know anything. You cant even trust half Oneironaut Feb 2018 #79
...I feel a rant coming on... FirstLight Feb 2018 #20
I don't have words renate Feb 2018 #22
... FirstLight Feb 2018 #26
This . . . Meanwhile I wait for the psych referral to come through" Sophia4 Feb 2018 #28
Thank you for sharing your MontanaMama Feb 2018 #35
This message was self-deleted by its author BannonsLiver Feb 2018 #51
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. You're doing everything right, IMO. ecstatic Feb 2018 #52
Thank you for everything you are doing. Tatiana Feb 2018 #53
That's what's happening in your case but they claim he was depressed but never saw agggression lunasun Feb 2018 #55
He was in counseling, but he stopped going a year ago. nt tblue37 Feb 2018 #70
Im so sorry youre going through this, grateful youre handling it so well. bettyellen Feb 2018 #73
If we should profile, monitor, and disarm people with violent rage issues and mental instability IronLionZion Feb 2018 #25
++++++Agree lunasun Feb 2018 #56
He had only lived with them 2 weeks. B2G Feb 2018 #27
as a fosetr child myself, I concur gopiscrap Feb 2018 #30
I want to add just one thing ProudLib72 Feb 2018 #31
truth FirstLight Feb 2018 #32
They didn't take him in a year ago. B2G Feb 2018 #33
Ok, that makes the point even stronger ProudLib72 Feb 2018 #42
"Nikolas was adopted at birth by Lynda Cruz and her husband" IronLionZion Feb 2018 #63
Yes. Or B2G Feb 2018 #64
His issues started long before his adoptive mother died. LisaL Feb 2018 #107
The Cruzes adopted him and his brother as babies. He adoptive father tblue37 Feb 2018 #71
The family's son was at the school when it happened. BigmanPigman Feb 2018 #34
And yet they allowed him to keep his gun in a locked box IN HIS ROOM !!! ananda Feb 2018 #36
Not Feeling The EXCUSES..... LovingA2andMI Feb 2018 #37
Wow, some of you people are just awful hueymahl Feb 2018 #38
Not so much attacking the family... robbob Feb 2018 #41
Or the post attacking the dead father ..including lock him up ! Real mob mentality lunasun Feb 2018 #59
At 19 he is an adult. LisaL Feb 2018 #100
I don't blame this family for anything. IluvPitties Feb 2018 #40
I think they were doing a good thing helping out someone who needed it kcr Feb 2018 #44
I have a huge problem with them allowing him to have a gun JI7 Feb 2018 #50
He was an adult who legally owned a gun Azathoth Feb 2018 #60
They couldn't steal his gun but certainly they were not obligated to allow him into their home with LisaL Feb 2018 #101
They didn't give him any weapons, correct? yardwork Feb 2018 #61
sounded like the area where the kid lived was more rural...hunting happens, guns are normal dembotoz Feb 2018 #62
His adoptive mother was only single because she was widowed. Her husband, the boy's adoptive father, tblue37 Feb 2018 #66
I understood it was his natural father who died of a heart attack 10 years ago grantcart Feb 2018 #88
No, adoptive father. LisaL Feb 2018 #99
There is no way he was presenting as a normal young man. Maybe they just didn't care. And who SweetieD Feb 2018 #78
A kid still in school gets to be called an ophan if his last aprent dies obamanut2012 Feb 2018 #80
His adoptive mother died after he was kicked out of school. He is not an orphan and SweetieD Feb 2018 #82
Wait a minute: janx Feb 2018 #96
That's what I find so bizarre. LisaL Feb 2018 #104
Asshole WestIndianArchie Feb 2018 #102
I applaud this family handmade34 Feb 2018 #103
To those who don't understand those of us who wouldn't allow the gun rainin Feb 2018 #109
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