No Joke: Mittens eats only the Tops of Muffins!

[MADem]

28. What a creepily fascinating portrait. My favorite bits were these:

In other words, Newt is an ideal candidate because when an infant pestered him, he hacked it, took it like a man, a pro. If it were Romney? And an infant started fucking with him? You know it would be bad, some pediatric version of the time he sang "Who Let the Dogs Out" to black teens in Florida. "Hello, little organism different from myself. I will now make noises that I believe are comprehensible to your kind."

• In 2005, Romney rather cynically effaced his identity as a pro-choice, gay-friendly centrist and became a social conservative. One of the more appalling elements of the transformation: He reversed an earlier avowal that he hoped stem cells might cure Ann's multiple sclerosis.

Does Mitt Romney know that Oklahoma, the sort of state in whose image he intends to remake the nation, ranks forty-fifth in median household income (Hamm's billions notwithstanding) or that a recent Pew study rated Oklahoma one of the three worst states in terms of social mobility? My guess is that he does. But he also knows the more important truth, that the candidate with the tidiest narrative wins. And his narrative is very tidy: that making money is a good and patriotic undertaking, that those who make the most of it are the best and wisest people in the world, and that Romney shall save us because he knows what's good for him and Harold Hamm, and what's good for him and Harold is good for us all.

It's just a horrible portrait of the guy, even without the Mormon stuff and the Holocaust/pus/baboon references. But it's accurate, I'm thinking...

http://www.gq.com/news-politics/politics/201208/mitt-romney-wells-tower-gq-august-2012?printable=true