General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: How do we deal with dangerous teens when NOBODY will help? (long rant of a mom over the edge) :( [View all]MichMary
(1,714 posts)Many years ago I attended a workshop by a social worker/mom who had written on the topic and who counseled parents and kids affected by it. She told stories from her own life, about how she felt like a failure both as a parent and a professional because she had a child who was out of control.
Then, in desperation and because she saw a need, she came up with a treatment. I remember little about it, but it dealt with having both the parent and child consider the consequences of every particular option.
For the parent: If you propose A as a consequence for bad behavior, what will happen? Okay, can you live with that outcome? If the answer is "yes," then go with it. If the answer is "no," then come up with Consequence B, and so on.
For the kid: If you do _____, what are all the possible outcomes?
She said she was counseling one kid who was a carjacker. He later came back and told her she had ruined his career because for the first time he had realized that one possible outcome was that the car owner could have a gun and he could get killed!
I wish I could remember her name, or the titles of the books she had written, but, as I said, it was a very long time ago. Please do some reading on the topic. Try to find a counselor who is familiar with the disorder, and even if your son won't go, go yourself.
Best of luck to you.