Scott Walker Dismayed That Wisconsin Apparently Smarter Despite Cuts in Education [View all]
ADISON (The Borowitz Report)Scott Walker, the governor of Wisconsin, said on Wednesday that he was dismayed and alarmed that people in his state had somehow become smarter despite substantial cuts in education.
Ever since I took office, I have slashed education with the goal of making the voters of this state markedly dumber and incapable of critical thinking, he told reporters. Instead, what I am looking at is a doomsday scenario.
Walker said that his cuts were based on a theory known as trickle-up stupidity, in which students in Wisconsins schools would become less informed and their ignorance would eventually infect their voting-age parents.
Clearly, what looked like a cant-miss plan on paper has not panned out, he said.
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