General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: White DUers: Tell Your Stories [View all]neeksgeek
(1,214 posts)Im white, male, middle-aged, a grey-haired college professor. I rarely contribute to DU anymore but this problem is very much on my mind.
I generally dont have any issues with people discriminating against me now, and I attribute this to white privilege. White people especially see me as a safe person, or they ignore me.
When I was a teenager, I experienced some special attention from police and security, based largely on how I dressed (black clothes, sometimes fairly disgusting heavy metal t-shirts, long hair...). Never had any charges brought against me, because I hadnt really done anything other than look scary.
However, there is another area of my life that presents itself more often these days. Ive known my spouse since 2003, we started dating in 2005 and have been married nine years. Shes of Mexican ancestry, a third-generation US citizen. When she and I started dating, we encountered some racial pushback. One of my former girlfriends, upon hearing that we were getting married, called me with some concerns - the first thing she wanted to know was my fiancées immigration status. She assumed I was being used.
There have been incidents at stores where people have expressed surprise that she speaks English. Im very nervous about how she may be treated, to the point of being a bit too defensive sometimes.
The worst was from certain conservative parts of my white family. I have an uncle to whom Ill never speak again, and I had to adjust my Dads attitude about her family quite publicly.
Many of my students are minorities. I want them to know that Im on their side. But I dont know how to do this without seeming patronizing.