General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: White DUers: Tell Your Stories [View all]EffieBlack
(14,249 posts)First, this has been an awesome discussion. Those of you who shared stories have really educated and enlightened me and, Im sure, many others who read them whether they said anything or not.
I commented on many of your stories. But the others I just read and thought about. Everything doesnt need commentary.
Its great that you persisted and stayed honest and focused, and didnt get caught up in any of the distractions and foolishness that cropped up.
As I read your stories, I noticed a pattern - not universal, but a distinct pattern. Most of the negative experiences you had with racism and discrimination occurred on an individual basis, rather than at an institutional level. In other words, they involved encounters with individuals displaying individual, albeit often hateful, bias. Thats not to discount or diminish the experiences - they were still negative and difficult and unfair - but thats what I saw.
This is an interesting contrast to the stories shared by minority DUers. Most our stories seemed to focus much more on instances of institutional and systemic discrimination. For example, they were more likely to involve people in positions of authority or power over us or larger institutions in society (or people backed up by such power or institutions), e.,g, police, employers, etc. Again, Im not suggesting that one type of discrimination is worse or harder or easier or less fair or more cruel than another. Getting beat up in a parking lot because youre white is not less horrific, frightening or wrong than getting pulled over by a cop for driving while black. But the dynamics are different.
As I think about this distinction, it occurs to me that this might help explain some of the disconnect in our discussions.
One of the really clear sticking points seems to be that minority DUers feel that white DUers are quick to scoff at and dismiss the existence of institutional racism. They often approach our attempts to point it out as unreasonable and unfair, and an attempt to blame all white people for racism.
On the other hand, many white DUers seem to resent what they believe is a refusal of minorities to recognize that, even if they do have certain privileges, those privileges dont prevent them from ever being discriminated against. And pointing that out doesnt necessarily mean theyre trying to co-opt or piggyback discrimination faced by minorities.
I think that, given their own personal experiences of being victimized by personal, individual instances of discrimination and lack of experience as victims of larger, systemic racism, many whites just cant identify with or relate to the latter as a real thing. They dont see it because they havent seen it in their own lives and, therefore, dont recognize it and dont understand it.
By the same token, many minorities may have trouble appreciating how whites feel when their experiences a victims are shooed away as no big deal. This may be because minorities have had to deal with those individual experiences as well as the larger institutional ones and those are things we just expect and deal with on a daily basis - and the fact that theyre so common to us makes them seem like not a big deal - at least not in comparison with the bigger systemic crap we have to deal with. So we brush it off when we see it happen to other people with a Welcome to MY world casualness, which isnt always fair to the people who also have to deal with it, even though they may not have to grapple with the more pervasive and sinister forms of discrimination.
So, if nothing else, I hope people will take away from this - I know I will - a better sense of where people who dont look like us arent coming from. And that while its clear that whites and minorities are not subjected to equivalent levels and degrees of racism and discrimination - since its cant be disputed that minorities have faced and will continue to face much harsher treatment - our own experiences can provide us a starting point for more empathy for people who dont look like us.