I have some bad news...

[Honeycombe8]

52. I'm so sorry for her situation. Maybe she can get some sort of part time job?

Office work, maybe? To supplement her income? Few people can subsist on SS alone. And 62 is still pretty young these days. I know she has health problems, but if she's not 100% disabled, there might be something she can do to earn some money. Most older people have arthritis (I do, and I'm in my 50's), so unless she's disabled, I don't see that as a huge deal.

Selling stuff off Ebay? (But you have to have stuff to sell.)

Maybe it'd be cheaper to sell the house, and her move into a 2 bedroom apt with you. No home repair costs, yard, mortgage, etc.

You don't have any siblings to help?

But PLEASE do NOT forego your future on behalf of your mother. That does no one any good. One day you'll still be here, and she'll be gone. You'll want to know you did what you could, but you will be left with nothing if you sacrifice too much for your parents to the point that it interferes with your future. And you'll resent it. Guilt...it sometimes pushes us to sacrifice too much.

I have a sister I feel pressured to help. I do help her. But I have drawn a line on some things. She is, after all, responsible for her situation. While I worked hard for decades, saving pennies, struggling, going to work in broken down cars, she didn't work while living with our mom, smoking & eating her way into an early stroke. So she ended up w/o ins., money, or good health.

You can't totally solve situations for other people. They are really the only ones who can help themselves, in the end. And they need to start preparing for their golden years decades before. You alone cannot make up for all those years. (Unless you're wealthy, which you may be.) If you're not wealthy, maybe it would risk your retirement to take on an elderly dependent. You cannot let that happen.

Your first responsibility is to take care of yourself. Preserve your retirement and your health. Only then can you help your mom.

As for the VA, the rules are the rules. Which sucks.