I have some bad news...

[Honeycombe8]

73. Your mom quitting her job to care for sick relatives - that's my point.

Yes, I am a rational person, which may come off harsh to those who are not. But it's just a practical thing.

Your mom quit her job when she was young...in her 40's...to sacrifice for her parent and her husband. So they wouldn't have to go into an institution. But ... you see how that worked out in the long run. She not only sacrificed her security, her future, she may have sacrificed yours, as well. You now are about to do the same thing.

I'm not suggesting that you not help her. I was just whispering in your ear to set some parameters and try to preserve your health and your future.

COPD, on constant oxygen, is a problem. Can she not go for four hours a day w/o it? If that's the case, she may qualify for SS disability, which may pay more than work benefits? There may be some stuffing envelopes jobs that are available, things like that. Besides, working is good for older people (like me): earning a little money, feeling wanted and worthwhile, feeling useful, and the social aspect if you work outside the home.

Despite my sister's situation, I am there for her. Really. We talk on the phone a lot (she's out of state). I pay for certain things for her, to the extent I think I can w/o interfering too much with my retirement savings. She's on Medicaid in a nursing home, even though she's in her 50's, because of a major stroke and broken hip. I listen to her talk about her many ailments. I feel badly I can't get her certain things...but I had to draw a line somewhere. Otherwise, it'd interfere with my retirement security, and what would I do when I'm 75 and need $500 for some medical procedure and don't have it? Who will ride up on a white horse to save me? No one. My sister will be gone by then, as will some of my other siblings. There is me, myself, and I to take care of myself in my older years. I've been trying to prepare for that for years. If you're young, your older years may seem far, far away. You will reach them sooner than you think.